(Closed) Have you ever ran from the etiquette police?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I’m not going to address my envelopes “correctly.”  I just can’t make myself write “Mr. and Mrs. John Smith,” so I’ve got to go with “Mr. John and Mrs. Jane Smith” or some other variant.  For my STD’s I just did “John and Jane Smith.” 

I think my mother will be unhappy when she receives hers…

Post # 4
818 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I don’t think we broke any etiquette, but I will say that it bothers me when I get an invite with the registry info printed on it. The one that really bugged me though was a voew renewal ceremony where the couple (who had married a year before with just a few guests) printed “in lieu of gifts, cash would be appreciated.” That really got to me. AND they intentionally invited more guests than the venue would hold figuring that many wouldn’t come. The bride told me this on the phone! So I just sent a card.

Post # 5
1763 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I am not having the inner envelope. I think they are a waste !

Post # 6
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’m really not big into the etiquette stuff!  My only goal is to not offend anyone.  Some people can get really carried away about wedding etiquette and I feel like that’s more stress than needed.  The one thing that I would totally get ticketed for is my refusal to open up gifts at my shower.  I told everyone that is planning it that I refuse to do it, I don’t want to make anyone feel bad if their gift is less than someone elses.  Therefore, its not happening- throw the cuffs on!

Post # 7
297 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Oh yeah!

Before I knew about Wedding Bee I would go to yahoo answers for help and one of the questions I had was how to fit 150+ people in a venue that only would fit 120 or so comfortably (there would be an overflow room for extra guests but they wouldn’t be able to see the rest of us).  I had a lot of replies and all but one person told me to switch venues.  I had so many people tell me that the guests in the overflow room would feel like B class citizens.  It stressed me out!!!

I know if I would’ve posted that question here I definitely would have had the same response, and rightfully so.

Well, I never switched venue’s, we had the 150+ guests and somehow the restaurant was able to squeeze us all in one room.  It was chaotic but fun.  “Cozy” is the word my photographer used. LOL!

It’s true what they say, offer free food and booze to people and they’re happy no matter what else is going on.

Regarding the registry info., we did not include it in our invites.


Post # 8
2015 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I’m with Rocktsrgn. I didn’t address my envelopes “properly” and I didn’t care. Our wedding wasn’t super formal anyway, so I felt the Mr. and Mrs. John Smith greeting was silly. I didn’t even do the Mr. and Mrs. though. It just felt weird to me, and I didn’t like it.

Post # 9
485 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

@rocktsrgn: AGREED!! We are addressing our envelopes with an embossing label maker which takes FOREVER so I’m just addressing the envelopes informally ‘A. & B. Smith’ or ‘The Smith Family’. I’ve never been one for formalities.

Post # 10
2859 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011 - Bartram's Garden

There is no way I’m addressing my envelopes “Mr. and Mrs. John Doe.” They’ll get “John and Jane Doe,” or, if we’re closer to the woman in the couple, “Jane and John Doe.”

We’re not doing RSVP cards, but what I will do is include a small card that says something like “___ seat(s) have been reserved in your honor. Please RSVP at our website: http://www.ourURL.com

(Only two of our guests don’t know how to use a computer so they can just call us).

Our website will have registry info on it but we’re not including it right in the invites. And we’re also not doing the inner envelope. I find it wasteful from a budgetary point of view and from an environmental point of view.

We’re also not giving favors. We’re going to make a charitable donation in our guests’ names instead.

Post # 11
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

@ maisymay: Seriously? Seriously???

We’re also not doing the “formal” invitations. Other than that, we’re inviting children to our wedding, but not the children of my Aunt and Uncle who I haven’t met. I haven’t spoken to or seen the Aunt and Uncle in several years and am just sending the invite as a courtesy.

Post # 12
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’m not able to seat all the guests for dinner in the same room. They can deal with it or call the etiquette police on me. There will be a wireless mic so people can hear the toasts if they aren’t in the main room. Considering there is a considerable amount of guests that are “obligatory” because my mom is a pushover, it will be easy for me to decide who is getting “other room’d”

Post # 13
5263 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m strongly considering not having an inner envelope for the invites, and I really hate addressing them “properly.” I’d much rather do “Mr. and Mrs. John and Amy Smith” than “Mr. and Mrs. John Smith.” Etiquette be damned!

Post # 14
236 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

LOL – a friend from my hometown is up in arms about my “invitations”. She is the etiquette police, I swear.

They were essentially Save-The-Date Cards, with invitation wording, and RSVP at (email) or (phone). And then my handwriting is horrible, but I handwrote the envelopes myself. AND I sent them 6 months early!!!

I could really get her rolling if I told her that I wrote on my Dad’s envelope: I made this myself! It’s an inside joke and made Daddy’s day! How casual! GASP!

Edit: sorry I handwrote the envelopes, not the invites. Just reread it and saw that mistake.

Post # 15
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

I put “Adult Only Reception” on my invitations…eek!

Post # 16
1209 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I could seriously care less about wedding etiquette. If someone does not like something about my invitations, wedding, dress, reception, I don’t care. I am doing it my way because that is how I want it. We don’t get many days that are our own, really no other day…we might as well get what we want. Sorry if I sound like a brat, but it is just how I feel. =)

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