(Closed) Have you ever regretted ending things?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
8444 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@lookingforadvice77:  If you would’ve asked me this question 7 years ago, when I was dating my ex, I probably would’ve said that you’ll need to work hard at marriage and good men are hard to find.  Now, while all those things are still true, I now believe in soulmates since I met my Fiance.  My ex was a good guy, loyal, caring, stable, took care of me, spoiled me, the works; but I just didn’t feel that spark. We traveled all over on vacations, went out to restaurants, shows, so it really wasn’t that we were in a rut; I just wasn’t that into him.  We’re actually still friends and he just got engaged, and I honestly couldn’t be happier for him, so things ended really well for us.

With my Fiance, I feel giddy about the relationship, even after almost 5 years of living together.  He literally makes my heart flutter and I am completely smitten.  I really never thought that a relationship could be like this; I always figured I’d have to compromise, that no one fully understands another person, and all of the realistic, non romanticized stuff.  All of that goes out the window with this relationship.  I normally don’t gush about it like this, but honestly leaving my ex was the best thing I could’ve ever done.  I feel like I have a storybook romance.  I really hope that everyone gets a chance at a relationship like this at least once in their lives.

Post # 4
Member
2188 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2024

I don’t regreat leaving my exhusband at all! I’ve been with a wonderful man who is perfect for me in every way and I’ve honestly never been happier. When I think about what might have been if I stayed I honestly want to vomit because I know I would be in a miserable loveless marriage, while making the decision to leave the marriage so soon after the marriage (less than a year) was hard I don’t regret it because it was the best decision for me and I don’t care if people judge me for not “sticking it out” and “see how things work out” because there are only 2 people in a marriage and unless you are one of them then you have no idea what is going on!

Post # 5
Member
9139 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@lookingforadvice77:  While the first few months of being seperated were horrible and the divorced felt like getting my heart carved out of my chest (I felt empty and like I would never love again), I made it through and do not regret my decision to get divorced at all.  All of the warning signs that were invisible to me back then are glaringly obvious now.  There was not one reason that I ended up divorced but at least half a dozen.  It took distance, time to heal, and a divorce for me to see the big picture that I should never have married my ex husband in the first place.  But yes, the first few weeks and months, I kept asking myself if I would regret my decision.  I realize now that it was more because I didn’t want to deal with the stress and pain of divorce because at the time that was much worse than remaining in an unfulfilling marriage.

Post # 6
Member
2188 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2024

@housebee: “I feel giddy about the relationship” YES! This is how I feel now, I’m ALWAYS happy to go home and see him and I still get the butterflies in my stomach when we kiss and he smiles at me. I too feel like I now have the storybook romance and sometimes I am so happy and smily I annoy even myself but I can’t help it, he is my soulmate.

Post # 7
Member
9687 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

NO…I don’t regret ending any of my past relationships.  I regret not ending things sooner though (but that’s all in hindsight!).

Post # 8
Member
8444 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@Bazinga:  “I am so happy and smily I annoy even myself”  LOL, this is so me.

Post # 10
Member
2375 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Honestly, my only regret about leaving my ex was that I didn’t ask my best friend to get me the hell out of there right before the wedding.  I almost did, but I was so worried about what everyone would think if I bailed.  It didn’t make leaving any easier, I was a hot mess and I had my share of doubts.  But under all of the self doubt and fear, I knew there had to be something better.  There had to be something better than the pit in my stomach that I felt every day coming home.  And alone WAS better, because alone didn’t give me the wounded puppy look when I didn’t want to be intimate.  Alone didn’t make me dream of taking the cats, throwing what clothes fit in my car and driving off somewhere, anywhere but here. 

Post # 11
Member
2188 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2024

@lookingforadvice77: Yes I was VERY happy with my decision to leave my ex. I left and was by myself for a bit (I didn’t leave and find my SO right away) then fate happened and I saw my SO again for the first time in YEARS and it just clicked. I wasn’t looking for another relationship but with him I just knew it was right, everything felt and still feels just so right.

You will find someone I promise! I never thought I’d find anyone who truly loved me for who I am, my ex certainly didn’t, he tried to change EVERYTHING about me and that obviously ended up in divorce. After the end of my marriage I realized that I’m not putting up with anyone’s bullshit and if they don’t like me how I am then tough, I’m not ever going to try to change again for anyone, and I haven’t. My SO always tells me to not change and I’m perfect the way I am. YOU WILL FIND THIS! Someone that loves you unconditionally and is so utterly right for you that you wished you hadn’t wasted time with anyone before him!

Post # 12
Member
2188 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2024

@MariContrary…are we the same person? I could have literally said the exact same words! Even down to the “alone didn’t give me the wounded puppy look when I didn’t want to be intimate.  Alone didn’t make me dream of taking the cats, throwing what clothes fit in my car and driving off somewhere, anywhere but here”.

 

Post # 13
Member
2375 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

There’s very few people that understand what I mean when I refer to the sad puppy look!  And yes, it can take a while for the right one to show up, but the amazing ones are worth the wait. 🙂

Post # 14
Member
484 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@lookingforadvice77:  I agree with the other bee’s in this thread.  I did not regret my decision to end things with my ex of 5 years… he was my first boyfriend, and like you, we were at the point where I didn’t really feel emotionally attached to him (I never felt like I was in love with him for the last 3 years of our relationship), and I was even less physically attracted to him.  At the time when we broke up, I had my doubts… luckily for me, we were able to remain close friends, so I didn’t just completely cut him out.  I know that made it easier.  But since I had only been in the one relationship, and for such a long time (all the time since I had moved out of my parents house to go to college), being alone was very different for me.  I actually moved to a completely new city and state after college, and I was all alone, didn’t know anyone…  but I was ready to meet new people and see what else was out there… find the passion that had been missing from my life for so long.  I dated a few different people, and as luck would have it, one of them was my future husband.  I love him so much, I agree with PP’s about being so happy… I didn’t know it was really possible to be this in love with someone, even after 2 1/2 years when the initial passion has worn off (but not died!) 

Worrying about not meeting someone is totally natural… I felt the same exact way when I was alone.  But I truly believe that you will.  I believe you said in your other thread that this was the only guy you’d ever been in a relationship with… you have no idea who else is out there!  I believe you will absolutely find that passion and emotional connection with someone else.  That’s the kind of relationship everyone deserves to find.

Post # 15
Member
84 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

No I have never regretted leaving any past relationships because there is always a reason why you’re unhappy enough to think about leaving in the first place. 

Post # 16
Member
1326 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Nope, I have never regretted leaving any of my past relationships. Even before I met my Fiance, I was happier being alone than being in a relationship that didn’t meet my standards.

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