- 8 years ago
- Wedding: October 2013
No, we’ve never had a fight like that.
No, we’ve never had a fight like that.
Nope. I don’t think it’s a mature response to need to leave the house after a fight. We also never sleep apart after a fight. Sometimes we end up angrily pulling the blankets from the other one, but we never want to get in the habit of being apart for so long after a big fight.
We have never slept apart because of a fight. We will stay up all night to resolve something, which we have actually done before.
Yup couch a 2-3 times (in 4 years), but we always make up the next day. Sometimes you just need some space to cool off. It takes me a lot longer to cool off than Fiance, because I’m stubborn. 😉
We’ve never slept in seperate rooms because of a fight; however, I have moved to the guest room because his snoring keeps me awake! Lol. If we ever have a disagreement, we usually resolve it in less than 30 minutes, even if we must stay awake to do so. We never want to go to bed mad, although that may prove impossible- who knows?
I’m amazed everyone has such negative opinions about couch sleeping!
Fiance has a verbally abusive father, so when we start to fight, he emotionally shuts down, gets passive-agressive, and only says (irritatingly quietly) “Fine. Whatever.” Like an emo 15 year old!
I was abused in a past relationship, so when we fight, I feel the need to put physical space between us (and the worst abuse I ever recieved was after my ex would shut down emotionally).
If we stay in the same bed while we’re fighting no one gets any sleep! I lay there (sometimes crying quietly) and he lies there pretending not to hear it!
So I move to the couch when I’m REALLY upset.
He usually comes and gets me after 30 minutes or so, when he realizes I intend to sleep there. Then we talk it out, say our “I love you”s, and generally go to bed.
I’m going to be completely honest and say “OF COURSE!” We sleep apart probably 1-2 nights a month. I’m a HUGE believer in going to bed angry. 98% of our fights occur 1-2 hours before bed. We’re both tired, exhausted from the day, and emotions run much higher than normal. I’ve found that instead of trying to “work out” a problem that isn’t usually even a real problem, it’s best to just sleep apart. I usually wake up in the morning having completely forgotten about the fight or why I was so angry last night.
To me, there’s nothing that makes LESS sense than staying up later than usual to work on a problem when 90% of the problem is just that you’re tired and grumpy. I’m totally a person who needs space when I’m angry, so if I lay next to him I’ll feel super tense and I’ll just stew over whatever it was instead of getting to sleep. It’s so much better to wake up in the morning feeling refreshed and able to put your problem in the proper perspective. I always end up apologizing and telling him how sorry I am for getting worked up over something dumb.
Anyway, it works for us!
Fire signs for you!! haha
i’ve never left the house, but i’ve slept on the couch or in the guest room before. and it’s usually not because of a fight, per se.
my husband has a little bit of a temper and not a whole lot of patience sometimes. so i’m the one who gets scolded/yelled at whether it’s my fault or not. there have been a couple times that i was just so upset and hurt that i couldn’t even look at him, so i slept somewhere else.
The other week we had an arguement because we had plans to go to costco after I finished work but I was so hungry (worked through lunch) that I was feeling sick so I wanted to go home. He was upset that I disregarded the plans, opinions and / or feelings. It lasted until the next morning when he realised that it was indeed silly.
It doesn’t mean that we don’t have a mature, well balanced relationship 😛
Nope. We never go to bed angry or upset.
My FH isn’t great about dealing with emotions in the first place, so if you add tired and cranky to the mix, things tend to escalate rather than be resolved. We’ll both get a better night sleep if we’re in seperate rooms. There is only one time he actually left the house to sleep because of a fight and I’ll be honest that I had been drinking and completely overreacted to a situation that normally would not have caused a problem. We lived in a studio apartment at the time, so going to a seperate room wasn’t an option. His mom was living right next door at the time, so he walked to her place. I probably would have done the same in his shoes
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