(Closed) Have you ever spent a night away from your SO because of a fight?

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 32
Member
2116 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

No, we’ve never had a fight like that.

Post # 33
Member
5373 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

Nope. I don’t think it’s a mature response to need to leave the house after a fight. We also never sleep apart after a fight. Sometimes we end up angrily pulling the blankets from the other one, but we never want to get in the habit of being apart for so long after a big fight.

Post # 34
Member
11376 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

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@Nona99:  I just simply love you. 🙂

Post # 36
Member
595 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

We have never slept apart because of a fight.  We will stay up all night to resolve something, which we have actually done before.

Post # 37
Member
3875 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Yup couch a 2-3 times (in 4 years), but we always make up the next day. Sometimes you just need some space to cool off. It takes me a lot longer to cool off than Fiance, because I’m stubborn. 😉

Post # 38
Member
1251 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

We’ve never slept in seperate rooms because of a fight; however, I have moved to the guest room because his snoring keeps me awake! Lol. If we ever have a disagreement, we usually resolve it in less than 30 minutes, even if we must stay awake to do so. We never want to go to bed mad, although that may prove impossible- who knows?

Post # 39
Member
12244 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’m amazed everyone has such negative opinions about couch sleeping!

Fiance has a verbally abusive father, so when we start to fight, he emotionally shuts down, gets passive-agressive, and only says (irritatingly quietly) “Fine. Whatever.” Like an emo 15 year old!

I was abused in a past relationship, so when we fight, I feel the need to put physical space between us (and the worst abuse I ever recieved was after my ex would shut down emotionally).

If we stay in the same bed while we’re fighting no one gets any sleep! I lay there (sometimes crying quietly) and he lies there pretending not to hear it!

So I move to the couch when I’m REALLY upset.

He usually comes and gets me after 30 minutes or so, when he realizes I intend to sleep there. Then we talk it out, say our “I love you”s, and generally go to bed.

Post # 40
Member
928 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’m going to be completely honest and say “OF COURSE!” We sleep apart probably 1-2 nights a month. I’m a HUGE believer in going to bed angry. 98% of our fights occur 1-2 hours before bed. We’re both tired, exhausted from the day, and emotions run much higher than normal. I’ve found that instead of trying to “work out” a problem that isn’t usually even a real problem, it’s best to just sleep apart. I usually wake up in the morning having completely forgotten about the fight or why I was so angry last night.

To me, there’s nothing that makes LESS sense than staying up later than usual to work on a problem when 90% of the problem is just that you’re tired and grumpy. I’m totally a person who needs space when I’m angry, so if I lay next to him I’ll feel super tense and I’ll just stew over whatever it was instead of getting to sleep. It’s so much better to wake up in the morning feeling refreshed and able to put your problem in the proper perspective. I always end up apologizing and telling him how sorry I am for getting worked up over something dumb.

Anyway, it works for us!

Post # 41
Member
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

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@Mrs. Honeybee:  I definitely understand where you are coming from. Most of our fights end up being late at night over silly petty things that don’t need to be worked out because they aren’t important but after a long stressful or busy day any little niggle can get to you and there is no way resolving it apart from getting some sleep and forgetting about it by morning!! We have a spare room at least so both of us will get a good nights sleep, and on several occasions we’ve been known to sneak back during the night, say sorry and make up.

 

Fire signs for you!! haha

Post # 42
Member
2966 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

i’ve never left the house, but i’ve slept on the couch or in the guest room before. and it’s usually not because of a fight, per se.

my husband has a little bit of a temper and not a whole lot of patience sometimes. so i’m the one who gets scolded/yelled at whether it’s my fault or not. there have been a couple times that i was just so upset and hurt that i couldn’t even look at him, so i slept somewhere else.

 

Post # 44
Member
56 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

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@bretonvirgniia:  I’m the same! I’m fine with going to bed angry and sorting it out the next day when we aren’t emotional.

  

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@Mrs. Honeybee:  Yes this! My SO isn’t working atm so it gives him way more time to work himself up over stupid things. If we get into an arguement before bed i’m not going to engaged him all night long! I want some god damn sleep! haha

The other week we had an arguement because we had plans to go to costco after I finished work but I was so hungry (worked through lunch) that I was feeling sick so I wanted to go home. He was upset that I disregarded the plans, opinions and / or feelings. It lasted until the next morning when he realised that it was indeed silly.

It doesn’t mean that we don’t have a mature, well balanced relationship 😛

Post # 45
Member
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Nope. We  never go to bed angry or upset. 

Post # 46
Member
557 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

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@Mrs. Honeybee:  Couldn’t agree with you more. I used to be a believer in “Don’t go to bed mad,” but after several years of testing the theory, it couldn’t be more wrong, for me at least.

My FH isn’t great about dealing with emotions in the first place, so if you add tired and cranky to the mix, things tend to escalate rather than be resolved. We’ll both get a better night sleep if we’re in seperate rooms. There is only one time he actually left the house to sleep because of a fight and I’ll be honest that I had been drinking and completely overreacted to a situation that normally would not have caused a problem. We lived in a studio apartment at the time, so going to a seperate room wasn’t an option. His mom was living right next door at the time, so he walked to her place. I probably would have done the same in his shoes 

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