Have you ever thought about not having a wedding?

posted 2 years ago in Engagement
Post # 16
189 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2020

Literally me right now. I haven’t quite started planning, just kind of dipping my toes into it by casually drafting guest lists here and there, researching venues and vendors, thinking up realistic wedding aesthetics and goals – and that’s when I have brief moments of “Holy crapola I have no idea what I’m doing and we have no money and we never host anything like parties so will our family and friends actually come and will they even have a good time and will WE have a good time and I don’t even know where to start right now”

During those moments I have brief fantasies of eloping or at least changing it to a super small thing of maybe 25 people but I KNOW I’d regret it because I’d want to celebrate with extended family and friends that I don’t get to see very often and miss a lot. Which of course bumps up the size of the guest list, size of the wedding, adding costs and then we’re back to the “maybe we should just elope” panicking stage. 

Post # 17
212 posts
Helper bee

I don’t want a wedding. The plan is to have a small ceremony with no more than 20 people present (immediate family), and then go to a restaurant. We want to get married before we buy a house etc, so there’s no way I could justify a big wedding that costs the same as a mortgage downpayment. I also don’t enjoy parties or attention, either, so the idea of a room full of people to feed and entertain all night is too overwhelming.

Also, the family that matters most to me all live on the other side of the world, so I’m hoping we can honeymoon there and have a backyard BBQ 🙂

Post # 18
393 posts
Helper bee

Always thought I wanted a big wedding but now all I want is a ceremony with only his children present. I go back and forth about wanting close family members there or at a meal afterwards…I’d like to keep everything a secret so that there was no pressure too 

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