(Closed) Have you ever wondered?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 32
59 posts
Worker bee

View original reply
@DrRoberta:  Beautiful post! I am very happy for you!

Post # 33
280 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Haha.  Well played, OP, well played.

Post # 34
2808 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’m two inches taller than him….so, kinda?

Post # 35
5654 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

I definitely think I’m marrying up, but he would probably say the same thing. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 36
5155 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2010

Um, no. Never. Even if I was a princess (I am not) and he was a chimney sweep (he is not) I would not think that! I consider us to be equals.

Reading that article and what it judges as “class” I will say I have a higher education (professional degree) and currently a higher salary, and a different occupation than him, but I still do not consider myself to have married down. He also has tons of education in different areas and in different ways, and certainly could make a higher income and has before career changes. We have just made different career and job choices over the years, is all.

My husband and I tend to think we both actually won the lottery marrying each other (seriously, the other day we were talking about what winning the lottery and at the same time said “but I already won the lottery with you”. So cheesy!)

Post # 37
2868 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Not in those terms as if he is less than me, but yeah, I’ve thought about the fact that our lifestyle will be much less lavish/comfortable than how I was raised, and I’m theoretically totally fine with that but we shall see how reality ends up ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 38
1733 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Uh no and can you give a definition of marrying down

Post # 39
2892 posts
Sugar bee

I never really thought about it. Based on the article’s definition of marrying down I’m technically marrying down because I make twice what my guy makes but I’m marrying up in the sense that he has his bachelors and I’m still working on mine. So, he’s marrying down in that sense. 

I think the article was a little misguided. Maybe more women are marrying more men who are less successful in their careers – but who cares? What about all the men that marry women who aren’t as successful? Either way, it’s a moot point and indicative of nothing other than the fact that people out there are marrying for more than just money or status. And I don’t see how that’s a bad thing – as the article seemed to make it. 

IF you love someone, you love someone, and at the end of the day status means nothing. I think they were grasping at straws with this one. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 41
7172 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Do you think the concept of marrying up or down is a generational thing?  I’m surprised at how many people haven’t heard of it…. I am older than most of the hive – and I wonder if that’s why it’s more of a common frame (and not offensive, just matter of fact).  It seems to me that my older friends use it more of a joke, but there is a clear distinction of whether or not they moved up or down the scale on a socio-economic level.

Make no mistake:  it has nothing to do with the persons worth or the amount of love shared between the two people!

Post # 42
4044 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

His parents seem to think he is marrying down by being with me. I have a good job, middle class background but they had aspirations for him and I never fit into those.

Post # 43
2353 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
@Angkinah: This.

I WAS rasied to be a debutante, and I am thrilled to be marrying someone whose values are based on merit and character, instead of money and status. It feels like a move up, actually.

Post # 44
10361 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

We both have multiple degrees and work in tech/science fields. I think we’re very evenly matched socioeconomically, as well as in the looks department.

Post # 45
320 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2012 - Wynn Las Vegas/Bouchon Bistro

I think this might be a cultural thing. Anyway, I have never thought about this question; now that I have, I would have to say I married “up.” I don’t think that I could have found a better man.

Post # 46
2141 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013


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