(Closed) Have you gotten unsolicited criticism about things that are a done deal? (Vent)

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
6351 posts
Bee Keeper

I think jam favors are a great idea. I’d like that as a guest.

Post # 4
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I think those are great. DIY is special and those that really know and appreciate you will appreciate all of your efforts.

Post # 6
60 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I have had similar experiences with people giving me opinions when I wasn’t really asking for them. I never expected to be so sensitive about it all. It’s hard when you put so much time and effort (and heart) into choosing things and working on them, and then people dismiss them after a simple glance. It’s pretty hurtful, as it turns out.

I’m sorry your Future Mother-In-Law did that to you…that would definitely hurt my feelings. I actually think it’s a little out of line that she did that at all since it was unsolicited. I think your favors sound like a really awesome idea (something people will actually like and use). Try not to let her or anyone else get you down ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 7
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

i think jam favors are a good idea as well – i know i would take mine home and it will get used

do you have a pic to share?


Post # 8
661 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Hey I think the jam is a great idea too!!  They say edibles are the best wedding gifts.  And I prefer when they are hand made simply because they’re more special.  Its like “wow, the bride took her time on these gifts for us, cool!”  ๐Ÿ™‚

Great gift, don’t worry about Future Mother-In-Law.  Mine hates my blue wedding shoes … but, we all move on in life. ๐Ÿ˜‰ My Future Mother-In-Law did as yours will too!!!

Post # 9
2116 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

If it helps, I like your jam favor idea!! I only get unsolicited criticism on done deals from my self

Post # 10
1613 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Oh my gosh… YES!!!  I feel like for EVERYTHING we have done for our wedding, my future in-laws have questioned things.  First, it was the venue….. are we sure we want it at a hotel, are we sure we want to pay that much (which, in reality, we got a good deal).  Next, it was our photographer….. are we sure we want to go with her? why not try a family member (who has barely any experience).  Next it was cake….. how much are you paying? why don’t you try this place?

It’s gotten to the point where I will NOT talk about wedding plans unless someone ASKS, and even then, I let fi do the talking b/c I just don’t want to elaborate if all they will do is question our decisions.

SOOOO annoying…

Post # 11
646 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Eh, people will always do it. (Give unsolicited opinions.)

The thing is, you’re never going to make a decision that everyone is going to agree with. I think jam sounds like a great gift! ESPECIALLY if it represents you in some way (you like to cook, you like to can, you love the kind of fruit, etc.)


Post # 12
387 posts
Helper bee

I’d love home made jam!  As long as it tastes good and is made properly, which I am sure your jam is both of those things, then I think it’s a great gift!  I always throw away most of my favors, but I would DEFINITELY keep the jam!  Ignore your Future Mother-In-Law because she will definitely be wanting some of your jam when it comes down to it.  Keep the jam, and if she says anything else, jam it up her… Wink (pun intended for a laugh)

Post # 13
916 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I like your jam idea!

YES, I receive PLENTY of unsolicited criticism.  In fact, just 20 minutes ago I did, from ths girl at work.

Her: How much are you spending on food?

Me: $100 per person

Her: *gasp* oh what are you getting for that? (so that she can judge me)

Me: 3 main dishes, 2 sides, fruit, and 3 appetizers.

Her: Buffet style?

Me: Yes.

Her: You know to be completely honest with you, I went to a wedding at a HOTEL and they served a salad, salmon, and cake, for $100.

Me: Oh wow, that’s a lot of money (I’m confused here because she listed fewer items than I listed for the same amount of money)

Her: But it was at a hotel, so I think it’s kind of reasonable.

Me: Well that says nothing about the quality of the food.

Her: You know, to be brutally honest with you, when people go to a wedding and it’s a buffet, that is kind of lower quality, don’t you think?

Me: Well, I have already paid my deposit, and it is a done deal.

This girl is the QUEEN of passive aggressive comments.  She thinks she is a GENIUS at getting bargains and planning weddings.  And she has NOT ever planned a wedding before.  My head was throbbing with fury after that conversation!

Post # 16
2116 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@berkie: Jeeze Louise, this girl you’re talking about sounds horrible.. who tells someone that their wedding is low quality?

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