(Closed) Have you had to learn to accept bothersome personality traits in your SO?

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
645 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Absolutely! My SO is a very intense and serious person, and when we get into arguments, he really “beats a dead horse”. He loves to talk about his feelings, which is a good thing, but sometimes I just want to scream at him that the fight is OVER and to SHUT UP.

Post # 4
Member
4765 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas

@brittromance – OMG my Fiance does the same thing! He re-hashes everything OVER AND OVER, and finally I just have to say “Honey, I heard you the first time can we please let this fight be over?” 

Only I usually don’t say it quite so nicely. 🙂

Post # 5
Member
645 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@amanda.lynn – It is so frustrating but what can you do?! I usually end up getting very angry and shut myself off, and then he accuses me of not communicating my “true” feelings. I am still trying to figure out how best to handle these situations…luckily, we don’t fight too often.

@nature_girl – Haha, that’s okay!! Everyone has different communication styles and we all have to work on how best to mitigate the situation 😉

Post # 6
Member
1104 posts
Bumble bee

My Darling Husband is *very* independent. He didn’t have a particularly happy childhood, never felt like he could rely on anyone else, and just couldn’t wait to be an adult and make his own decisions. I come from a completely different sort of family. For a long time I felt like he would never consider himself to be part of a team with me. We are definitely there now and have been for a while. The independent streak is still there but I feel a lot more comfortable with it and it has helped me learn to take more responsibility (like recently talking about my job situation when I said “where’s the adult to make this decision for me” and he said “we’re the adults remember”).

Post # 8
Member
1854 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Darling Husband can’t fight fairly, or say he’s sorry. As soon as I talk about something that bothered me, he’ll take it as an attack on his person and bite first before I can even finish. I have to be *very* careful with my words (and I always am, I was a social worker for a long time, so I know how to communicate and all…) but I will usually have to wait until the next day for him to ask me for a walk and he’ll take me out on a romantic evening and that’s his way of saying he’s sorry – it would be way cheaper to just say it, but whatever!

It’s a good thing we do not fight often (like, twice in the past 3 years); because that’s not going to change.

Post # 9
Member
1104 posts
Bumble bee

Nature_girl that’s where I’ve struggled too – getting him to see that it’s not weak or stupid to rely on me occasionally to look after him or help make a decision that doesn’t directly affect me 🙂

Post # 11
Member
3219 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

When we are debating/ arguing Fiance only hears his opinion and NO ONE else’s. And to him he has made his point so it’s over and he is right even if he isn’t close to right!

Post # 13
Member
2790 posts
Sugar bee

My SO and I both have serious tempers and it has taken ALOT of patience for me to try to continue talking rather than yelling in an argument. He also likes to hear the worst possible version of what I said. I then have to reiterate it and remind him to HEAR what I said not what he thinks i said. We are still working on this and probably will for the rest of our lives.

Post # 14
Member
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

He thinks republican, I think liberal (I won’t say democrat because I’m not too set on any party)… enough said…

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