(Closed) Have you lost a parent? How old were you?

posted 6 years ago in Family
  • poll: How old were you when you lost a parent?
    12 and under (what I am calling a kid) : (23 votes)
    20 %
    13 to 19 (what I am calling a teenager) : (23 votes)
    20 %
    20 to 29 : (51 votes)
    44 %
    30 to 39 : (16 votes)
    14 %
    40 to 49 : (2 votes)
    2 %
    50+ : (2 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 62
    Member
    5364 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2016

    I lost my mom 3 weeks before I turned 12, and my dad the day after I turned 16. April is an awful month for me, and coming up in a few short months will be 10 years for my mom and 6 years for my dad. My boyfriend also lost his mom when he was 16, a month before he turned 17. We had to go through our proms, hs graduation, and coming up college graduation. Plust they won’t be here to see us get married, or have their grandkids. It has always been hard for me to imagine going through all these important events without them, but I have been lucky enough to have my amazing grandfather and also my 8t grade teacher who has become like my mom to be there for me. I also have my boyfriends amazing family. As hard as it is, we try to honor our parents every way we can think of. We are also desinging my engagement ring to include diamonds from both of our moms rings, so they can always be with me. I know it is the toughest time of your life, but it does get easier.

    Post # 63
    Member
    2959 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I lost my Mom when I was 29 and my Dad when I was 35. As the youngest child, they were older at the time so I guess I was somewhat mentally prepared. Losing my child was a million times worse. I have faith that my daughter and other departed loved ones will be pesent in spirit on our wedding day.

    Post # 64
    Member
    8470 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2012

    How did I cope? I honestly don’t know. I was 23 when I lost my dad. It was sudden. He took a nap and never woke up. It was 2 months before my undergrad graduation, and I had started teaching that fall, so I had things to prepare for over that following summer. 

    It’s very difficult, especially when you’re young. I was in the anger stage forever and prerty much still am. I will always be anger about it because I never had the chance to say goodbye. 

    Post # 65
    Member
    487 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    I lost my dad when I was 8years old to cancer. He was 47 and died on January 31st 1999. My mom was extremely depressed after my dad died so I grew up pretty quickly. I have a younger sister so it was just us three girls. My dad missed everything in my life and it sucks, and almost 15 years later I am still sitting here crying like a baby typing this. But it gets better as the years go on. I have a wonderful boyfriend, my mom got re-married in 2013 and my older half-sister (also from my dad but different mom) had a baby and is now pregnant with twins. It gets better. I will miss having my dad walk me down the isle and dancing with him, but I have my wonderful mom who raised me an my sister all by herself for 10 years. And my mom makes it not suck so much. Sorry, I’m rambling!! 

    Post # 66
    Member
    487 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    @Mischka:  you said everything I wanted to say but was too busy crying haha sorry you have to be part of this awful club too. Hugs. 

    Post # 67
    Member
    236 posts
    Helper bee

    @Jayceedee:  Thank you. I know exactkly what you mean about the blame. Hugs back to you.

    Post # 68
    Member
    6861 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 1997

    My dad died when I was 17. He had been ill for some time, so it wasn’t completely unexpected, but nothing can ever prepare you. As for coping, for a long time I just didn’t think about it. It wasn’t until I had kids of my own that I realized that sienna76 is right. There is never a good time or a good way to lose a parent, but it will (hopefully) happen to everyone. Why do I say hopefully? Because if it doesn’t, that means that your parents buried you instead of the other way around, and no parent ever, ever, ever wants to go through that. 

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