(Closed) Have you lost/kicked out a bridesmaid from your wedding party?

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Have you lost or kicked out a bridesmaid from your wedding party?
    Unfortuneately, yes. (Elaborate in comment) : (17 votes)
    22 %
    Thankfully, no I haven't had any issues! : (44 votes)
    56 %
    I haven't, but am actually considering it : (16 votes)
    21 %
    Other : (1 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2641 posts
    Sugar bee

    I feel bad for anyone who has this kind of drama.  It’s just not needed.  I didn’t have any drama with mine.  It might have helped that I didn’t expect much from them. 

    I would just suggest to try to figure out where the weirdness is coming from.  Lots of feelings swirl during weddings.  Jealousy, fear, $$ stress.  People are just not themselves…

    Post # 7
    Member
    39 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: April 2009

    I wouldn’t demote her unless you’re prepared to no longer be friends.  I understand your concerns for day of, though.  Is there another bridesmaid or Maid/Matron of Honor you could explain the situation to and ask to deflect any criticisms from the problem Bridesmaid or Best Man on the wedding day?  

    Have you tried searching the boards? I think that a boards search might help you.  It seems that a lot of posters have had problems with their bridesmaids.

     Good luck!

    Post # 8
    Member
    114 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2009

    I have one Bridesmaid or Best Man who was in the same degree program as me, but was in an excellerated track, so she graduated 9 months before me. Since she graduated (7 months ago), I have been pretty much unable to get in contact with her.  I have tried e-mail, facebook message, text message, and about a million phone calls.  She has called me back one time in the last 3 months. I happened to call her 3 days in a row, because I found details out about 3 different things. The last one, I left a message saying that I needed to hear back from her as soon as possible, and I got a text about 5 minutes later. Ever since that incident, I’ve been debating on asking her if she just wanted out… I still don’t know what to do.

    Post # 9
    Member
    578 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    One of my BM’s wrote me an email stating that due to the economy that she would not be able to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man. Also, that she did not have time to be one, which was fine with me and I totally understood. So now I will be short 2 BM’s compared to Mr.FF’s groomsmen, which doesn’t bother Mr. FF or me. I really only want my closest friends up there not just a stand in.

    Post # 11
    Member
    332 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2009

    What a tough situation–I’m so sorry!

    Mine was a loss. One of my BMs lost her job in Dec and had to drop out for financial reasons. She just started a new job a couple weeks ago, so I’m hoping she can still at least come to the wedding, even though she is no longer in it.

    Post # 12
    Member
    5 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: July 2009

    You should never feel obligated to have someone in YOUR wedding!! No ands, or, buts about it.

    Also, you’ll want to surround yourself with happy and supportive friends who will go out of their way to make sure you have the best day of your life.

    I think either way, this experience will do something to your relationship. It’s either put up with her and not like her for the way she is towards your wedding, or say/explain to her why you feel like she doesn’t want to be your bm.

    I think it’s best for you to express yourself, just get it out, and then you can breathe and go on planning!!

    Post # 13
    Member
    796 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2009

    I had someone leave…she accepted a job overseas. It didn’t bother me as much because I had a feeling from the beginning she would not be sticking around.

    As for your friend, I agree with amandaR…If you plan on kicking her out, be prepared to lose her as a friend. I wrestled with this decision with my own Maid/Matron of Honor, and eventually decided it would be less stressful for me to just put up with her, subtly let the other bridesmaids know they may need to step in when necessary, and let it go. So, you have to weigh the pros and cons.

    Post # 14
    Member
    5399 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I’m so sorry for your Bridesmaid or Best Man troubles.  To answer your original question, I almost lost a Bridesmaid or Best Man during my wedding and now I just wish that I had asked her to leave…and that person is my sister.  We no longer talk and I plan on never talking to her again.  It might sound sad or mean, but there have been MANY different things leading up to this. 

    Ultimately in your situation, it is your decision with what you do with her.  You should know, though, that you shouldn’t have someone in your wedding party out of obligation.  Have you talked to your friend about any of these issues and let her know that she is making you frustrated and uncomfortable?

    Post # 16
    Member
    48 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    Oh my goodness! I think that all of Atlanta could hear me and my mother when we went into Davids Bridal to shop for bridesmaids dresses.  My mother guilted me into having my sisters be bridesmaids (after I already had 3)  SO… the trip to DB consisted of my 5 attenents, my mother, 2 grandmothers, my Future Mother-In-Law and her mother.

    My sisters (16 and 18) pitched a fit, they didn’t like anything I picked for them to wear. After about and hour of fighting (my mom was on their side, despite my reminders that it was MY wedding), I finally just said "I didn’t even want you in the wedding, I was forced"

    I know it was harsh, but I also knew that it would get their attention and make them shutup! (you have to understand that both my sisters were being rude to myself and my original bridesmaids ALL day long) Needless to say, when they found out I was forced to have them in my wedding, they didn’t want to be in it I think I knew that would happen, which is prob. why I said it. I love my sisters, but can’t deal with their attitudes in my wedding.

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