Post # 1
Member
1566 posts
Bumble bee
Just wondering if most bees were pretty much on the same page as Fiance about size, style, date/place, etc of the wedding? Or did you have to make significant changes to your vision?
I had to abandon my idea of a tiny wedding for 30-40 guests, and some of my most nontraditional reception/ceremony plans. Otherwise, though, Fiance has been really flexible about my ideas. His biggest compromise was probably agreeing to a pro photographer – he had no idea at first why we couldn’t just get an art student to do it!
Post # 3
Member
5921 posts
Bee Keeper
We were not on the same page at all.
I imagined a very small beach wedding, Mexico, Puerto Rico, etc.
Instead, we are having a formal, winter wedding, and inviting 400 of our “nearest and dearest.”
Beyond that, he is pretty flexible. LOL.
Post # 4
Member
1510 posts
Bumble bee
Fiance and I wanted almost opposite weddings but since my family is paying and his is not contributing at all (other than to the rehersal dinner), he didn’t get much say. That is pretty much all there is to say about that.
Post # 5
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
my fi wanted the big, traditional wedding. my dream wedding is destination, just our immediate families. we comprimised, small ceremony and a bigger dinner after in our home town. the rest is just little things that don’t matter as much.
Post # 6
Member
330 posts
Helper bee
We’ve both made compromises. I originally wanted a vintage-style Vegas elopement (funny that a wedding planner wanted no part in a big to-do); he wanted to invite everyone under the sun (easy to say when he’s not paying for it). To this day less than a month from our big day, he’s still trying to convince me to invite more people. We settled on a small (75ish) wedding in the city with some vintage-esque elements. He was able to invite his 8zillion family members, but we knew the majority wouldn’t come.
I was ambivalent about date, and he really wanted January – so I let him have that.
He was sooooo anti-videographer. I originally was willing to compromise on this, but at the last minute (less than a month to go) I decided I MUST have a same-day-edit. That was a bit of a battle – Fiance is very shy. I have to admit, I cried to get that one.
In an ideal world, both partners would have the same vision and agree on everything…but this is real life. Differences in opinion are so very likely to occur… Wedding planning is definitely a great way to get your feet wet for a lifetime of compromises and joint decision making!
Post # 7
Member
5921 posts
Bee Keeper
@Miss Meepsie, I am an event coordinator, and I want NOTHING to do with planning of my own.
Post # 8
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
Yes, we decided on having a religious ceremony which neither of us were thrilled about, but did it to please family and now are totally happy about our decision. We are also compromising on the honeymoon. We can afford to take an extravagant vacation in Europe, but in order to save to buy a house, Fiance is insisting we do something with a smaller budget like Mexico.
Other than that, nothing very big, he’s not too opinionated about flowers or decor or anything. He will be deciding on the music and we both are happy with pretty much any food.
Post # 9
Member
2208 posts
Buzzing bee
My biggest compromise, honestly, is not using blue as a wedding color.
And that kind of feels big. I love blue. My engagement ring is a blue sapphire.
Other than that, the growth in guest list happned organically, and we both arrived together at a lot of our non-traditional plans, picking the location was easy, etc. I’ve just been surprised at how much he shows flashes of concern about style. If I want to show him pictures, he doesn’t care usually. Other times, he expresses strong opinions or a real sense of vision.
Post # 10
Member
330 posts
Helper bee
@ Lindsay – it’s funny, isn’t it? I find it’s that way for a lot of planners I know. For me it was more for budgetary reasons – we’re house shopping. I’m thoroughly enjoying all of the planning & even if we went to Vegas and eloped, I’d still have planned the hell out of it! 
It can get overwhelming sometimes though – having seen soooooo much and knowing what’s trendy and what’s not has definitely affected my decisionmaking process. Though my profession has saved me countless hours of debating/decisionmaking/vendor interviewing!
@ monitajb – what are your colors? there’s got to be a way you can work a little bit of blue in there!
Post # 11
Member
130 posts
Blushing bee
He wanted a beach wedding in NJ with a huge guest list. I wanted a small church wedding in MI. We compromised by having a beach wedding here in FL where we live, and by keeping the guest list relatively small.
Post # 12
Member
1566 posts
Bumble bee
@monita – My Fiance is the same way. He gets these really strong ideas about style/decor/etc out of the blue. In real life, he’s not into design or art at all, so it’s a bit surprising 🙂
@moderndaisy – that’s too bad about the honeymoon – I think Europe is the ideal honeymoon destination! For what it’s worth we traveled there as broke college students, and were able to do it on a budget
