Post # 1
I am not trying to stir the pot here, I am just curious if anyone else had the same reaction I did when I saw the “newlyweds” category on GoFundMe. I know the website has helped a significant amount of my friends, family, and strangers fund very important (and often unattainable otherwise) situations including surgeries, devastating loss of property following disaster, medical bills, accomodations for disabilities, and pet medical/situational costs. I was a tiny bit horrified to see people on there asking for donations to fund the cost of their wedding.
Let me preface this by saying that I actually don’t have the strong objections to the pages asking for donations to their honeymoon fund that some bees do. I think when done tastefully, with an itemized breakdown of the activities in particular/cost you’d like to do allows people to donate to an aspect of your honeymoon that they so choose. I don’t agree with outwardly asking for a large sum of money that is to be used at your discretion. That aside, I’m surprised that people on there are blatantly asking for someone to fund “teh wedding of my dreams”. One particular post even ended with “besides, donating is good karma and a good deed is good for your heart!”. They’re asking for over $15,000.
Let me also say that I have donated to one woman who was diagnosed with stave IV breast cancer three months prior to their wedding. I completely understand that situation. Medical bills ammassing right before your biggest wedding payments are due? Totally get it. Totally donated. Totally teared up and said a silent prayer for them. I cannot imagine going through that. But the rest? I don’t understand.
Bees, am I missing something here? How do you guys feel about this? Would you donate if a friend forwarded you the link/posted it on your facebook wall? If you did post a gofundme STRICTLY to cover wedding expenses (NOT for your honeymoon like I’ve already discussed), can you share with me how your family/friends responded? Did you feel weird doing it? Did it work out? I actually want to know that side of it more than anything because maybe I really am just missing something! Thanks for any insight!
Post # 2
Wouldn’t do it, probably wouldn’t give money to one unless it was someone I already cared about, but I wouldn’t object to seeing one – I think people figure there’s not really any harm so they might as well give it a shot. Also don’t see any difference between using it to fund a honeymoon or using it to fund a wedding, personally.
Post # 3
Using it to blatantly fund a wedding when there are no extreme hardships (like the diagnosis while planning a wedding) leaves a bad taste in my mouth. If it’s okay for them, fine, but it personally would make me feel like I’m begging. However, I plan to use a honeymoon registry since we’re getting married out of state and don’t need anything household-wise. We’re planning to include a note “Your presence is gift enough for us, we are excited you’ve made a huge contribution just by traveling for our big day. If you must give a gift, please make a donation to this charity (I’ll choose one) or our honeymoon registry can be found here”. My family will understand since they know we don’t need household items.
Post # 4
Sidenote: my mom saw the kickstarter fund for potato salad and is jokingly talking about starting one for pasta salad “because not everyone likes potatoes”. hahaha
Post # 5
Other than the crisis type situation mentioned by the OP, I think it is never appropriate to beg publically for money- especially of strangers.
On the other hand, anyone stupid enough to send money to strangers to finance their wedding, is
doing so of their own free will.
Post # 6
No, I wouldn’t give to these. It doesn’t cost that much to go to the courthouse and get married. If these couples can’t wait to save the money for their wedding, why should I give my hard-earned money to them?
Post # 7
I would do it as a wedding gift, for someone I knew if there was a reason they were doing it that I agreed with. I wouldn’t actually use the site though, unless it’s free. If they take a cut, I would send a cheque.
Post # 8
Not in my most unhinged flights of fantasy can I conceive of ever donating to the wedding or honeymoon of a stranger (and I’d rather die unwed and untraveled than ever solicit from strangers myself), but I guess people have the right to give it a try.
Post # 9
Hell-to-the-no. I don’t care if it’s someone close to me or not… Expecting strangers, distant family and any friends to fund your wedding (via some impersonal pity-party GoFundMe page) is a complete trash move to me. There are only a FEW occasions where I even find these pages “okay”. I knew a guy who was diagnosed with a rare disease that nearly took his life. That part is sad, yes. His friends started a page like that for donations and also held big charity events to help him with medical costs, to which he happily accepted. Little did they know his insurance covered nearly 100% of his medical care, and was still on paid leave from his job. During his recovery process, he was able to purchase a new vehicle AND boat.
Post # 10
I don’t even think job loss is a good enough reason for these things. The only time I would consider making a donation would be if their goal was the $70 it costs to be wed at city hall.
Post # 11
A month ago I saw A woman on my Twitter TL asking for $ on GoFundMe because she wanted to have her dream wedding that she could not afford. I normally don’t care much for these things and would just not donate but I was like HUH? I would also like to have my “dream wedding” but as most people, you work with a budget and get what your money can buy you. Not go around strangers asking for money for luxuries (she wanted to get married at a castle -.-). The weirdest thing is she is no young girl, she’s a well established professional.
I wouldn’t mind helping a family member or friend who’s struggling financially, who’s worked hard to come up with some cash to have a small wedding and still is coming short. I’d much rather help a loved one celebrate than have them skip on even a small, low key celebration because they can’t afford it. But send money to some random person that can afford a decent wedding but still wants to get married in a castle with all the luxuries and have others pay for it? Um. No
Post # 12
I’m sorry but I’m not donating money to anyone’s wedding, stranger or not. All it takes to get married is a marriage license and a trip to the local courthouse. If you can’t afford that, then you shouldn’t be getting married. Just my two cents.
Post # 13
If someone wants a wedding, they should pay for it. However, like a person above me said, if people are stupid enough to give away their hard earned money to strangers who want something (as opposed to NEEDING something like surgery), then that’s their business. If you can get free money, why not I suppose.
Post # 14
Whatever happened to working within your budget/disposable income? I can see a gofundme for a child’s operation when the parents have limited means. For a wedding? Classless, disgusting, choose your negative adjective.
Post # 15
That’s what I mean! It just surprises me. There are so many amazing stories and causes to donate to on that website– I spent an hour or so perusing the healthcare one! My heart breaks for a lot of these people and I think its amazing that there are so many people willing to donate money! Some of these annonymous donations are $1,000 a PERSON for the medical causes! That’s fabulous to me when it is for a medical situation. I think GoFundMe is actually capable of saving lives. So I guess that’s part of why it left such a strong gross taste in my mouth so to speak. The ~3k donated to one bride planning “her dream wedding” could have gone to a far more deserving family struggling with the breast cancer bills of the mother.
I think it also says a lot that there are numerous “wedding money begging” profiles that have like $25 out of SIXTEEN FRIGGEN THOUSAND DOLLARS raised. Get a grip. So glad I wasn’t just missing the boat on this one..