(Closed) Have you/ would you date to marry?

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: Did you/ would you date to marry?
    Yes : (156 votes)
    77 %
    No : (36 votes)
    18 %
    Not sure : (10 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 32
    Member
    603 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    I was never much of a dater. If I didn’t think there was a future, I didn’t waste my time.

    Post # 33
    Member
    1880 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    Both my husband and I were dating to marry.

    Post # 34
    Member
    699 posts
    Busy bee

    @dicapriosimaginarywife:  it wasn’t part of the big plan and he began asking after my ring size so he put the thought into my head, lol. years ago…..

    Post # 35
    Member
    3028 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Athough I mostly dated for a husband, I also dated sometimes for a nice f—-k.

    Post # 36
    Member
    363 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I’ve never understood dating for the sake of dating. For me it has always been about finding someone that I could build a better life with than I would have made on my own. But I never outright asked if anyone was interested in a long term relationship while on a first date. I wasn’t in a rush to find the one and get married but I wasn’t going to let someone into my life that I couldn’t see a potential future with. If he didn’t have similar goals for his future he was out. As in not getting a second date out. But I never went out of my way to meet people to go out with either. I would go months without dating at all… Then I met Fiance and was in denial about the fact that we were even dating for the first 4 months we were together.

    I guess as more of an introvert the idea of going out and just meeting a bunch of people for the short term wasn’t appealing to me. Stability is something I have valued from very early on in my life and I guess that is what I looked for when I started dating.

    Post # 37
    Member
    4047 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    I didn’t really date anyone before Fiance. However, I wouldn’t see myself staying with anyone long term without considering them marriage material. But for a few months? Sure, I’d date them.

    Post # 39
    Member
    7977 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

    … firstly, the question is confusing. How can you marry someone when you have not previously dated them?

    … secondly, I made it my business to establish quite early on in my relationships whether these men were keepers or not (in that way). If they weren’t interested in marriage, this wasn’t necessarily a problem for me when I was younger. It just meant that our relationship had a limited shelf life, as far as I was concerned… not that it was automatically over.

    The older I got, the less inclined I felt to waste my time on people who were disinterested in settling down. I spent less time dating, and more time vetting potential dates… narrowing the field early on. It worked quite well for me in the end.

    Post # 41
    Member
    2854 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    Well, Fiance and I got into a relationship spring of our senior year of high school (we were friends first, knew we liked each other, so skipped the dating phase and were bf/gf from the start). We didn’t start our relationship with the intent to marry, but after a few years I was definitely in it for the long haul.

    If I were to be dating now though (instead of being engaged), I would probably be dating to get married. I’m 25 now, so I would probably be looking for something longterm at this point.

    Post # 42
    Member
    3370 posts
    Sugar bee

    @dicapriosimaginarywife:  Well I thought I was a “No”, but now I’m not sure. I have never dated anyone with the goal of finding a husband before we started dating. However, like @jess08: I did not want to waste time on someone who didn’t want marriage at all. Because I aleady felt like I was ready to settle down and find “the one”. I’m actually a horrible Girlfriend. I just suck at it. I don’t see the point in dating someone I already know I will never marry. So I guess I’m a “sort of”.

     

    Post # 43
    Member
    7977 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

    @dicapriosimaginarywife:  Difficult… I have never enjoyed dating in the sense of casual dating. I find it nerve wracking. I only enjoy dates if I like the person. I remember that I once dated a guy whom I had nothing in common with save for an intense physical attraction. Sure… it was fun in a way, but it left a nasty taste in my mouth all the time.

    I have dated “for fun”, I suppose… I dated him… but I don’t find dating fun in general. Give me nights in with Darling Husband over some first time meeting in a bar any day!

    Post # 45
    Member
    7977 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

    @dicapriosimaginarywife:  We don’t do dates with multiple people in the UK, really. You pick one, date them exclusively for a bit to find out about them, and then if you don’t like what you find then you break up.

    Post # 46
    Member
    11231 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I mean, I never really “dated,” just had relationships. It wasn’t until my Fiance that I decided that I wanted to get married at all. Before that…?

    The topic ‘Have you/ would you date to marry?’ is closed to new replies.

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