(Closed) Have your FIL’s ever made you question getting married?

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
426 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Absolutely not. Even though they are a little bit insane (really out-there Future Mother-In-Law, and control-freak-who-I-can’t-stand FFIL), I’m marrying my Fiance, not them. I would never give up my Fiance.

Post # 4
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

@SimplyChic11: A little. you know what they say…you dont just marry the man you marry the family. When we started planning the wedding  a feel like its enough stress and enough “its real” feelings to make people let down there gurad a little…i learned alot of things about his family but also MY family as well.  I questioned the whole situation a litte…but at the end of the day the man i was marrying, the one i was actually going to be with for the rest of my life, was nothing like his family…or mine for that matter 🙂

Post # 5
Member
329 posts
Helper bee

Yup, been there. I felt like some of his family members would be happier if I were out of the picture and that Darling Husband would have his mother “back”. But we didn’t let them win and we are now married. Still haven’t heard from his mom since we got married but life goes on.

Post # 7
Member
2638 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2006

Back when we were dating, the tension between his grandma/mom/sister and me almost made me end it. Once he and I got on the same team and I didn’t feel like he would ever side with them under any (reasonable) circumstances, things were fine.

Post # 8
Member
1212 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

They make be a bit nervous, it’s true. They all have multiple divorces and I worry that that means that my Fiance will be more likely to divorce me or do things to make me want to divorce him. 

Post # 9
Member
329 posts
Helper bee

@SimplyChic11: Well I’m very sorry you are going through it because I know that planning our wedding was the absolute WORST time of our lives due to family drama and we got so fed up we almost cancelled it and admitted defeat. But keep your head up and don’t let anyone get inbetween you. People have their own issues they need to deal with and if they can’t get their heads out of their asses and be happy for you, then that’s their problem not yours. Hope everything works out.

Post # 10
Member
2362 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

MY family has made me question our engagement. My family really likes my Fiance and they think we are good for each other. But, for financial reasons (FI doesn’t make sh*t) and the fact that he is not college educated makes them worry. And, I don’t think it is so much that he doesn’t have a high paying job, I think it is that they are worried about me being stressed with being the “bread winner” and all. Fiance is is very hard working and is taking his real estate exam soon and working another job. They appreciate this but know that real estate is not so good right now. Which puts pressure on me, Oh, and I graduated with a nursing degree and am not sure it is even what I want to do now. ARGH!

Are you planning on not seeing his family after you all are hitched? Have you told your Fiance how you feel you are being treated by his family?

Post # 11
Member
5271 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I had a rough time w/ my in-laws starting right around the time we moved in together, and once we got engaged it got even worse. 🙁 It got so bad that my husband told his parents that if they don’t straighten up, they were no longer invited to the wedding!

BUT, I will give you some peice of mind, that after 2 years of marriage, things are really good between my inlaws and myself!

It’s like they think you are just this person, but once you are physically married, they finally give in and start presenting themselves with better attitudes. So keep your head up & stay positive!!  

Post # 12
Member
3 posts
Wannabee

Most people think time is like a river that flows swift and sure in one direction, but I have seen the face of time, and I can tell you – they are wrong.

Post # 13
Member
145 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Yes. I seriously had to think about if I could deal with having these people in my life forever. But, a lot of it acutally came down to how my Darling Husband handles them. When he finally put his foot down with them and basically told them I was non-negotiable, that we were adults who were going to make our own decisions, things got much, much better. They took their lead from him. When he let them treat me poorly, they did. When he made it clear it was unacceptable, they stopped. Things are fine now. They are still not my favorite people and I don’t think I will ever have a close relationship with them, but we get along and I don’t have to see them that much 🙂

Post # 14
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

For real not.

But I’ve questioned how I’m for real gonna be realted to the little ‘brat’ of a sister he’s got. I loathe the day she’s officially related to me.

Post # 15
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

 Nah. Mother-In-Law is crazy, I’m crazier. I have a pretty good bullshit detector, so I don’t engage in games.

Post # 16
Member
899 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Many times. I love my Fiance, but his family is rarely nice to me. The only family who has been is the extended, not blood-related family, and one of his cousins. One of his aunts (his mom’s brother’s wife) has a weird obsession with him and goes out of her way to be rude to me, especially in front of other people. I have definitely asked myself a few times if this is what I want to do for the rest of my life.

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