Post # 1
Have any of you had bridesmaids who feel like because they were your bridesmaid they are friend-of-the-century? One of my girlfriends is upset because I had prior plans on her birthday and cannot make it to her birthday party (another couple that we are friends with is getting engaged on the same day and the guy is holding a surprise engagement party) She told me that “she has done so much for me recently” and that I “owe her”. She was not very helpful throughout planning or during the weekend of my wedding, but she was there.
When did being a bridesmaid mean that you can hold that over someone’s head? Anyone else have any friend issues come up after you got married?
Post # 3
Well, a prior commitment is a prior commitment, so there’s not much you can do. Perhaps your friend feels like you should have kept the day of her birthday open.
Even if she didn’t do “much”, I am assuming she still paid all the costs associated with being a bridesmaid, gave up an entire day, etc, and she probably does feel bad that you are missing her birthday so soon after she did all that. She may also be stressed that now that you are married you won’t have much time for her. She is going about it the wrong way- you don’t “owe” her- but I understand her hurt feelings. Can you meet her halfway? Maybe swing by her party for a little while? Or, if you have to miss it completely, could you offer to take her out the night before or the night after?
Post # 4
@Tatum: I totally understand where she is coming from. I know she did a lot for more, paid a lot for a dress and traveling, etc. And I DO appreciate that. However, her plans were originally to do something on the actual day of her birthday (Sunday) so initially there was no conflict in the schedule. The day of her actual birthday IS open and I did offer to come up there. She was going to do brunch on Sunday and I was going to come up there for that…then after she already knew i was doing something saturday night she changed her plans to do dinner and going to a bar on Saturday night….and canceled brunch on Sunday. And then got mad at me for not being able to come even though the plans had changed. I offered to hang out with her all day Sunday..but she told me it wouldnt be worth driving out there (she lives an hour away) so i guess Im just stuck now.
Post # 5
I do feel a closer bond to all my BM’s. And I do feel more obligated to celebrate their special events since they dedicated so much time, energy adn support to me on my wedding day. It wouldn’t have been the same without them there for sure, I mean I’d still be married, but there’s something really touching about having your best friends standing there supporting you.
Although I wasn’t available the night of my BM’s birthday just recently due to a work event, so I took her out that weekend. I couldn’t get out of the event unless I took the whole day off which I couldn’t do anyway b/c it was actually teh busiest day of the year for me.