(Closed) Havent even asked her yet….MOH worries

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Well.. if you can’t even get in touch with her to ask her to be your Maid/Matron of Honor, maybe you should rethink who your Maid/Matron of Honor is. Your Maid/Matron of Honor is important, you want to be able to lean on her a little when you need to make a decision or if you’re feeling stressed.. so that person has to be there for you 110%. I would not recommend asking someone who thinks you are ‘rushing’ into things at 26, unless she has actual problems with your Fiance or your relationship she isn’t saying.

Post # 5
Member
1876 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Besides the Maid/Matron of Honor issues, why are you having a 14 person bridal party if you aren’t even that close to the toher girls? I think you should scale way back and only have the people who you can’t imagine life without. The people that will be “aunties” to your future children. Take that into consideration, and you’ll know who to ask.

Post # 7
Member
899 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Do you have to have a Maid/Matron of Honor, or could you just have BMs? I’m not going to have a Maid/Matron of Honor as the three girls who are my bridesmaids could all be a great Maid/Matron of Honor and all have other responsibilities in life that I don’t want to get in the way of – and I couldn’t choose one above the others!

RainStorm

Post # 8
Member
828 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I don’t have a Maid/Matron of Honor – my bridesmaids are my three best friends and there’s no way I could choose one over the other. I don’t think having a Maid/Matron of Honor is necessary in some situations. It sounds like with such a large bridal party you’ll have no problem at all getting someone to help you with things. 

I understand that you’re hurt about how your relationship with your oldest friend ended but think you should maybe try to patch things up before asking anything else of her. I just think it will be less stressful in the long run. 🙂 

Post # 9
Member
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

If it’s this big of a deal, don’t have one or have more than one. I also feel like if you have 14 girls and don’t feel like any can be an Maid/Matron of Honor, that you aren’t really that close to them.. I don’t get why they can’t just be guests at your wedding.

Post # 11
Member
1876 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@pokergirl84: “my other maids just arent as close to me as these girls once were.”

 

I guess I’m just confused. If you aren’t that close to these girls why do you have to have them in their wedding? You say their feelings will be hurt, but if you aren’t that close than their feelings probably won’t be hurt. And – if you aren’t close enough with these girls to ask one of them to be your Maid/Matron of Honor – then maybe uyou should save yourself (and them) the hassle and just have them be guests. Read through the “emotional” posts on this board – almost all are about bridesmaid drama – you might want to save yourself some.

And as far as the Maid/Matron of Honor goes. That’s a shame you aren’t close with your besie anymore. Why don’t you try to get together and just talk. And see where your friendship goes. If you guys become close again you can ask her to be a birdesmaid. And just don’t ask anyone to be an Maid/Matron of Honor until you get closer to the wedding. Once you get close then decide who, if anyone, you want to have as Maid/Matron of Honor.

Post # 13
Member
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

OKAY, I get it. So there’s six. I’m assuming your two best friends are included in the six then? If so, just have them both. Or have none. You’ll get the support each is willing to offer no matter their title. KWIM?

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