(Closed) Have/Would you ever date a colleague?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
1143 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

I married one! We met at work, in fact work in the same team. Got married in March. 

Post # 3
Member
3088 posts
Sugar bee

There is a total Ick factor to me for obvious reasons especially if it doesnt work out as most relationships dont.

However, I would have considered it if he was in another department, if the company was big enough, and if I thought he was very mature.

Post # 4
Member
272 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

It never worked out well for me. That’s not to say it doesn’t work out well for others but I think personally I need something to talk about with my SO that they don’t already know the details about. & if something at work is frustrating it’s nice to just vent without having to deal with another person’s perspective on the same issues or worry about repercussions at work. & in turn when my partner needs to vent it’s a lot easier to be supportive and crack jokes when I don’t have to worry about my own place in the conflict. 

Post # 5
Member
562 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I have dated a co-worker once. It was honestly a terrible idea, because you have less conversation to talk about when you get home from work and if it doesn’t work out, you can’t stay at your job. It is very uncomfortable…especially when they turn stalkerish when you break it off with them. I would wait until you have seperate jobs to make sure it will work out. However, I am okay working with someone I am married too, just not dating. Good luck!

Post # 6
Member
256 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I dated a coworker when I was a bartender. Never again will I date someone from work.

Maybe it’s different now that I’m in the “professional environment”, but I just couldn’t see myself dating/sleeping/being super social with a man I work with. If the relationship fails, work would be torture!

Work is my place of peace from the craziness at home, I don’t want to mix the two! LOL

Post # 8
Member
248 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I am engaged to a coworker. We live in a very difficult, dangerous part of the world and I met him when I moved here to work. It is difficult to get out in the community and have equal, honest relationships as a result of the issues here. He has been working here much longer, so he has two exes here and it is awkward, but not impossible. They all manage to do their jobs and be civil. 

I got a lot of anger directed towards me when we started dating though. Women far outnumber the men and he is one of the few that is not in his 50s and is fit. That was difficult, but they have gotten over it. 

We don’t spend time together or interact much at work; there would be almost no way to know we were together if you only saw us in the professional setting. We address each other formally and keep physical distance. I think that is how we have managed.

Another thing we did that makes it different is, in the beginning, before anything romantic started, we agreed where we wanted to go with the relationship. We did not want to make work difficult, so we were reasonably sure this was a long term, serious relationship before it started. In our line of work, having a spouse in the same career is excellent for both of us and makes moving and getting good contract work so much easier. our mutual support is invaluable in our stressful careers and having that understanding with someone is wonderful. We have different hobbies and both have passions that compliment each other while also giving us time for ourselves. 

Post # 9
Member
2874 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

I went out on a couple of dates with a coworker but I’m not sure I’d classify it as “dating”. We both realized we were making things really complicated and decided we were better off as friends. We are still good friends to this day and I even introduced him to his wife.

I wouldn’t do it again just because of the problems it can cause. I had 2 former coworkers dating and one of them became management which made it really weird because the girl then reported to her boyfriend. HR found out and the guy was moved to another area. It was a messy situation.

Post # 10
Member
112 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I did and now we’re married!

I had the summer off before starting work full time so we started dating during the summer. I had previously done an internship so that was how we met. Things were going really well when I returned back to work and we discussed it with the department head to make sure it would not cause any problems. We tried very hard to keep it quiet but there were definitely some rumors going around about us. I ended up leaving the company a couple years later for a better job and we got engaged one month later.

I will say that we work in a very competitive and stressful industry that requires a lot of overtime and has a high divorce rate. Working in the same industry helps us support eachother better and we have a lot of mutual friends from working at the same company.

Post # 11
Member
147 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

My fiancé and I work together. We sat in the same cubical when we started dating and it was a little weird at first, mostly because not very many people we worked with knew (including our supervisor) but that faded quickly. The company we work for is huge (10,000 employees at least) and now we don’t even work in the same town. We just made sure to keep it professional while at work. There was a couple that started dating around the same time we did and they were all lovey and cuddling at work and it was terrible. They didn’t last very long…

I think it depends on the place you work but for us it worked out great. 

Post # 12
Member
1143 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

View original reply
Sugar Plum.x:  I’m a Project Manager and he’s a Senior Developer in my team. We still work together. We just clicked, I guess. It’s a small Software Development company (20 people). I told my boss about it very early on, and everybody at work has been very happy about it, as they could see that we got on so well. A year later we got engaged, and eight months later we eloped to Las Vegas. 

It works really well for us: we drive to work together, sit side by side at work, go for walks on our lunch breaks… we only tend to speak about work on the drive there and back (20 minutes each way), but that’s it. 

Now I have changed my last name, so even our clients know I married one of our devs. He is well liked, so I got loads of “lucky you” comments from them. This place is like a small family, and everybody has been great about it.

I get a lot of job offers, as what I do is very specialised and I have been doing it for a long time, but right now I’m not considering any because I would miss working with my DH ๐Ÿ™‚

So what about you, is there a reason why you’re asking? 

 

 

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 9 months ago by  MarmotaLinda. Reason: Spelling!
Post # 13
Member
781 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Another that’s married now! We worked in different departments though. It was great for us and we had a lot of fun because we had a huge circle of friends from work that all hung out. 

Post # 14
Member
2176 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I casually dated a coworked once but we were in a very large company and worked in different building (same campus just different building but it was connected with an inside walkway bridge type thing)

while it didn’t really go anywhere (we had a few dates and even had a “sleepover” one night when we had a snow day and we got drunk at the bar together) it wasn’t that bad since we didn’t interact too much and obviously I could just avoid him at the company christmas party/in the parking lot for a bit to give it some space

we ended up switching jobs and did have some interaction a few months later and it wasn’t a big deal though I am glad that the “break up” (not really a breakup just not a repeat date after a few)  happened when we didn’t work together

Post # 15
Member
96 posts
Worker bee

I did – it worked out fine while we were together. We were in the same department, but different subdivisions of that department if that makes sense. So we did see each other quite a bit and were in the same floor of the building, but different offices/different managers. I personally didn’t have any issues with any awkwardness and didn’t feel like we saw each other too much or anything like that. It was a pretty stressful department so we almost felt like we had someone to vent to and who could really understand the stresses. We thought we were being sneaky and hiding it well but it turned out everyone knew lol. I think the reason our managers didn’t care is because we never did anything inapropriate, and our dating never impacted our work or anybody else’s work. I think people just figured it out because we often spent lunches together and often showed up to work with the exact same lunch LOL. Also, colleagues would often try to set us both up with other people and we’d both always say no, so people just pieced everything together. So I guess we weren’t that sneaky. When I left that job for a different company, we were still together at that time so I never had to deal with any awkwardness of breaking up but still working together.

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