(Closed) Have/Would you ever date a colleague?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 16
15287 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Yup, and married one.  We started off in the same department when we met and married.  Shortly after he changed departments.  We never worked on the same projects though.

Post # 17
4888 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

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Sugar Plum.x:  I did, about 8-9 years ago. Wow, it really was THAT long ago.

We had been good work friends for a long time, and one night… stuff happened. We were Team Leads on the same team, but worked different shifts. Things were OK, and we kept it pretty hush for a LONG time. We only dated for about 6 months, and that was fine. He was still in a phase where he was texting other girls… from work. This included a 19-year old (we were 27 and 28 at this point) who he called while we were OUT for my birhday. Needless to say, things went downhill after that. We did attempt to get back together a 3-4 months after we broke up, but it never turned out to anything. Plus, I knew he wasn’t someone I could see marrying… so there was that. Working together got to be awkward after we broke up, especially when we had to work a holiday together and we literally were the only two in management working that day. Oh well.

Also, this guy ONLY dated girls who he worked with. And, now he’s married to a girl he met from here (she still works here, he does not)… so obviously he was ready to settle down!

However, I work with a girl who married another guy she worked with. Things worked out for them!

Post # 18
1148 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Ontario, Canada

I did and we are also married now. We did work in different departments though and I left to another company after we had dated for about 1.5 years. We did keep it quiet for a long time and kept our personal and business life seperate. I think that is key.  

Post # 19
490 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

I did! He was actually my old boss!!! (Nothing kinky going on before I left my previous employer, but once I left, all bets were off & he asked me out.) We dated, got engaged, and married all within a little over a year & a half!! ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 20
2013 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I married one! He was a manager in another department. We both only worked there 1-2 more months after we started dating. We’ve been together almost 8 years now.

Post # 21
153 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

I married one too! Sat rigth next to each other, very small company (14 people total at the time but only 5 in our office location), worked on many projects together and we just clicked. 

Funny story we always tell, being that it was such a small company and work environment is really important, you actually meet and interview with each team member. He interviewed me and was the only one to say no to hiring me, he was absolutley against it! Luckily, the rest of the team wanted me so he lost out on that. I joke that it must have been love at first sight and freaked him out! 

We didn’t actually start dating until a year or so later and kept it secret for awhile worried how people would feel in such a small office. Eventually it all came out, we got engaged and everyone celebrated with us at the wedding! He’s now with another company since he decided to make a big career change. I miss working with him but am so excited to rush home to see him at the end of the day ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 22
1476 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I married the IT guy at work. We are seven years strong!

Post # 23
325 posts
Helper bee

I have and it turned out terribly. When we went our separate ways it was so awkward. Everyone knew that we ended things and no longer were speaking to each other. One time he dramatically came in my office and while my back was turned, he walks up to my counter and said something to extent of “youll get with you deserve”. He wind up leaving the room before I could even turn around. It was the most dramatic thing I’ve ever encountered. 

Coworkers in my case have NEVER worked out. Other people got involved in the relationship and I’m also a completely different person at work. I’m all about getting the work done and yeah I’ll joke around if there’s downtime but not always. Guys I’ve dated would get offended but we were in a professional environment! I’ve seen it work out for other people but it just didn’t work out for me. 

Post # 24
1321 posts
Bumble bee

I was thinking about maybe starting to date a guy I liked at work, when he asked me to go with him to the staff Christmas party… But then one of the guys who worked for him asked me a couple of days later.

I decided it was far too awkward to date either of them, especially so publicly and in full view of the other guy, so I waited until one of them (the one I liked) got another job shortly afterwards and I started seeing him then. It didn’t work out, so i was very glad I hadn’t made things awkward at work in order to pursue it. ๐Ÿ™‚ 

Post # 25
1194 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

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Sugar Plum.x:  Yep. And I married him!

Post # 26
1399 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I’m in the “I married a coworker” camp… Although we were also in the same grad school program at the time. ๐Ÿ™‚ 

Post # 27
3088 posts
Sugar bee

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thegrandsophy:  Okay, I am just really curious to know where you’re from now.

Post # 28
5938 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

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Sugar Plum.x:  I married one! We worked on different floors though, so if it went south at least we wouldn’t bump into each other much.

Post # 29
657 posts
Busy bee

My partner was my boss when we first started dating so we had to do it on the down low for our reputation’s sake. 

Dating gossip can be nasty even if you’re not dating your boss so I would never date a coworker unless it’s on the DL. There were two managers at work. They were indisputably brilliant and nobody had any real grounds for complaints so every time they made a hard decision, their subordinates would bring their relationship up like slander. I can’t tell you the number of times I heard something like “Jay’s making our work so hard making us do ___. Mike must not be giving it to her.” 

From my observations, coworker relationships tend to be more successful if you don’t have to interact every day at work (probably because it makes it easier to keep work/home life seperate). Also, those who don’t spend all their time with their partner (Lunch etc) do better at work because they have stronger coworker relationships. Attached at the hip couples mever seem to make it in high positions and I’ve seen one couple fight at work, embarrassingly enough. 

Post # 30
9230 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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Sugar Plum.x:  I did in high school when I worked at a fast food joint, but I wouldn’t really count that…. as a professional? Hell no – never have and never would. My career is too important to me to risk mucking up by dating a colleague. 

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 9 months ago by  LilliV.

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