(Closed) Have/Would you ever date a colleague?

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 61
Member
1011 posts
Bumble bee

Not exactly. However, my thought is it’s always going to be an issue of if things don’t work out, how will we handle it? Like mature adults? Will one person leave? Actually, I had the reverse happen. I was dating a guy who ended up working with me. Granted, it wasn’t every day because we were substitute teachers (so different schools) but then he ended up with a permanant job, so they’d place me time to time in the room he was in if they needed extra. However, when we broke up, I just made sure to tell the secretary at that school (who is super sweet and not gossipy) what happened and to please just not place me in that room, that any other room was fine except that one, and we didn’t have a problem. He later ended up getting fired so it didn’t matter. 

I worked at a daycare once and there was a divorced couple who’s kids went there (I met the mom and she was real sweet and ended up setting me up with her ex… weird sounding I know, but they weren’t happy in their marriage, got divorced, she met someone new, so it worked) except it because an issue when I was dating him and the kids went to the daycare…. so not directly, but indirectly and I ended up being let go because of it (they didn’t have a policy forbidding it, and didn’t specifically fire me for it, but that was the reason, but oh well, that was 10 years ago so I’ve moved on). 

Post # 62
Member
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2015 - On a Cliff Overlooking the Bay, Florida

Sugar Plum.x:  I work at a LARGE financial institution and form the beginning I said I would never date someone I worked with because I’ve seen SO many couple at work and then they break up and have to be sent to another department or separated. That being said….. i became friends with a group of people that sat by me we would go out after work for drinks / late dinner and about a year and a half later one of the guys I had a lot in common with asked me to the movies and here we are 4 years later married and currently TTC. We still work together and when we walk in the doors we are no longer husband and wife we are coworkers.  I am the assistant to the VP of our department and my Hubby is a supervisor in our department. Interesting enough there are 6 set of couples (married and dating) in our Division (550 employees) at work. 

When we come home we ask how was your day but we don’t go into details (Max 10 min) and then no more talking about work.

When we started dating we kept it quiet because both of use don’t really like our perosnal lives all over work.  Most people know we have been married for a year but someone asked me the other day who is that guy that bring you drinks and stuff sometimes doesn’t he know you are married i said LOL that is my husband. She almost fell to the floor and said OH wow i didn’t know yall don’t act like it. i said well that’s how you act in a professional setting.

Post # 63
Member
393 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

I’ve witnessed a colleague date another colleague at work and when it didn’t work out… It ended badly and things at work were so awkward. Not just for the two of them, but for everyone who worked with them/around them! They would fight and mock each other in public, and it seriously made me feel so uncomfortable. This went on for a YEAR after they broke up, and was only resolved when one of them left for a new job. 

Glad the arrangement worked out with other folks, but there was no happy ending in this story! 

Post # 64
Member
881 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2006

Sugar Plum.x:  

I did once while working in a small office. Big mistake. 

If I was single, I would only date someone at work if the company was large and he was in another department and location. 

Post # 65
Member
3092 posts
Sugar bee

 

SLOBee:  LOL…I know…marry or find another job…smh

Post # 66
Member
34 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I’m marrying my former co-worker! We met at work and ended up working in the same department I was sure that would ruin us. We got closer than ever. We are now getting married!

Post # 67
Member
116 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Yes, we worked together in the same team (of about 30) for about a year of about 6 months we were living together also. I then got a new role in the business and a few months later he left the company. 

we get married next year!

Post # 68
Member
929 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I have when I was in high school. It was a terrible experience. I was raised to act professional in all situations yet once everyone found out we were dating all of my actual actions were disregarded. People started making assumptions about my quality of work, even though I never let my relationship get in the way of it. It’s very likely that this was solely because I was so young at the time but a few things happened (that I’m not willing to share on a public forum) that definitely turned me off of dating coworkers.

Post # 69
Member
2970 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I dated a co-worker once, then I married him. Lol. (I work in the construction industry, if that matters at all)

With Darling Husband we kept it quiet for the first 6 months, but his cousin is also a co-worker so first family function the cat was out of the bag. 

 

Long before Darling Husband, I did go out a few times with a guy on the same jobsite who was with a different company but again, no one knew so when we broke it off, it really didn’t matter. Actually a couple years later I was talking to a guy from that site and he mentioned ‘I was surprised you and ___ never hooked up at all’ and it was totally worth the look on his face to tell him we saw each other for almost a month.

Biggest thing with dating a coworker I think is to leave your relationship at home. When you are at work, you are coworkers. After you punch out, then you’re dating. 

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