Post # 1
FH and I live in an apartment and plan on getting a 2BR apartment/rental home/townhouse when our lease is up this spring. For some reason, I feel like living in an apartment is “cheating” our baby/child of a good childhood. I know it sounds dumb because we would love, care, nourish and provide our baby with everything it would need I just feel like living in an apartment means we are unstable. We will be TTC this fall but I like to think ahead…. Has anyone else felt this way? Any advice? Thanks In Advance
Post # 3
I get what you’re saying (I’ve had these thoughts as well) but at the end of the day, particularly with really young children, they have no idea where they are most of the time. The only reason I wouldn’t want to have a child in an apartment is because of the lugging up and down the stairs thing plus no yard. LOL. I felt bad having my doggies in an apartment, but honestly I feel like my dogs get more out of us having our house than our future kids will, at least the first couple of years. 🙂 Just sharing, I guess. We aren’t TTC yet or anything. Just moved into our first house (out of our apartment of 2+ years) a couple of weeks ago.
Post # 4
i’ve lived in apartments my entire life. grew up in them, and have lived in them since college. i’m perfectly fine lol.
Post # 5
Most people who live in NYC have their babies while living in apartments. Lots of people do. In my city, many rent houses and have babies while their SO’s are going to grad school (there is a whole neighborhood like this).
You and FH are a stable couple, right? That makes a stable home and that’s all the baby/toddler will notice.
Post # 6
I’ve thought about this at times but I have a 7 y/o and am now expecting my 2nd and we are in an apartment.
DS still goes and plays outside and really there are more kids around here in the complex than there was in the last neighborhood we lived in.
I lived EVERYWHERE when I was growing up.. houses, apts, duplexes… really any and all places you could live and there’s not anything that I can really think of that made living in a “house” better than our apts…. Having friends in the neighborhood was having friends in the neighborhood and we played just the same in the neighborhood where our house was as where our apt was.
My only thing comes into play once children are older… by the time that my son is getting into middle school I want to be settled in a place that we won’t be moving from again.. same friends and same house to be able to make the memories that are really remembered for the long haul….
If it’s something that really bothers you though then I’d talk it through with your FH and maybe hold off… just know that having kiddos in an apt won’t “hurt” them even though it may be hard for you in not giving them “everything” you want to right away. =)
Post # 7
I think a baby in an apartment is fine. Fiance and I live in a 2 bd apt now and our neighbors have a baby. There are a lot of kids here and everyone seems to be friends with eachother. We just bought a 3 bd townhouse, and I think raising a kid in a townhouse will be fine too.
Post # 7
Having the means to have a house does not make for better parents. Baby is not going to know the difference if he/she is in an apt or house. As long as the baby is loved and care for, it’ll be fine no matter where you are! My parents started out in a 1br apt with me, then moved to a 2br apt shortly after I was born, then to a house 4-5 years later and I think I look happy as can be in my baby pics.
Post # 8
So my fiance and I own a house, so for the first year and a half we raised our son in a house. Now we are temporarily living in a different city, for work, and we rented an apartment. I absolutely hate it. For a few reasons, 1) Not enough room to play, the area is small, so we are constantly tripping over my sons toys. 2) There isn’t a whole lot of room for his toys, so we are severly limited on what we choose to buy him here. 3) This particular building has no elevator, so I am lugging my son around up and down the stairs, and grocery days are a pain in my rear end. 4) I am always concerned with the noise my son is making, driving his cars up and down the halls, using loud voices, laughing loud, having tantrums ( he is in that stage right now).
It could just be because I had the privaledge to live in a large house prior, that I notice these things, and everything is exaggerated a bit, but the 4th concern, about the noise, is really the worse one. I hate being a loud neighbor, but kids will be kids, no matter how hard you try to tame them.
Post # 9
I get what your saying….. that said …. my mom had three boys from her first marriage and then had me .. we lived in a one bedroom apartment in the Bronx. They gave the three boys the master bedroom and the living room had french doors on it and they shared taht room with me. they got a house when my younger brother was born, they closed five days before he was born and moved in while mom and him were in the hosp.
You don’t have to stay in the APT for ever, it’s better to save money now while they are young then later. good luck!!
Post # 10
As long as there’s a roof over your baby’s head, I don’t see a problem!
I wanted a house before baby because of my own lazyness. It’s so much easier not schlepping everything up and down the stairs all the time, plus we have a dog and I like to just be able to let him out into the backyard if my hubby is home late so I don’t have to worry about holding him and a baby. But I know the baby would have gotten the same amount of love if we were here or there!
Post # 11
We live in an apartment and since I found out I was pregnant its also been a concern of mine.. I think when they are babies its less of an issue but when they get to the age where they want to run around then its nice if they have a bigger space and a back yard. Having said that when I was growing up my parents lived in the city and we lived in an apartment til I was about 7 and then moved to a house and I never really cared for one more than the other, but I guess I was too young to know the difference.
Post # 12
We’re in a 700 sq ft, 1 BR apt, and as others have said– I don’t think it matters too much to babies if you’re in an apartment. You just have to clear out your clutter, plan every purchase with “Where am I going to store this?” in mind, and be practical with what you buy. Honestly, people say you need so much for babies that is absolutely not necessary. Baby doesn’t care if he doesn’t have a nursery, or if his crib was chosen because it’s small & a space saver– not because it was the most darling one out there. 2 books that were really helpful for us were “Having your Second Child First” and “Baby Bargains.” Oh, and the Babies documentary. Those helped us get past the idea that you need so much for babies.
You’re not cheating your child out of a childhood simply by not living in a house with a yard, etc. When the kid is older and needs their own space (& you need your own space), you may want to look for something bigger, but if you’re in the 2BR place you mention, I’m sure that will be more than fine for several years or longer– depending on if/when you have baby #2.
By the way– we have a dog (a lab, so a big dog) too. And she probably gets more walks, more attention, & more time at the dog park & generally hanging out outside because we live in an apartment. I imagine the same will go for our baby, at least for the first few years.
Post # 13
Years ago we bought a house in the country (beautiful upstate NY, Saratoga Springs area) thinking that someday we’d get married and start a family there with our white picket fenced-in grassy backyard, perfectly manicured gardens, etc. We used it as a vacation home from 2005 until moving there in 2007 and HATED IT. We discovered that we were city people, no denying it. We moved back to Boston 8 weeks later and sold the house finally last year. We got married just this January, we’re expecting in December and we live in an apartment, a rented townhouse for now – couldn’t be happier. For us, I’m hoping happy parents = happy baby, because at least the two of us would’ve gone crazy living away from the city.