(Closed) Having a bacholerette party with friends who are not invited to the wedding

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
3943 posts
Honey bee

I vote no on the bridal shower. It’s a little rude to expect them to shower you with gifts, when they arent invited to the wedding.

The bachelorette I think is ok though, if your friends want to plan something. I would keep it small and only for your nearest and dearest. But I was invited to a bachelorette for a friend that was also having a very small (10 person) wedding, and I was happy that I had a chance to celebrate with her.

Post # 4
Member
3568 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

It seems like your friends are very understanding, and just want to celebrate with you. I don’t see a problem with them throwing you a bachelorette party. 

As for the shower, you could ask them if they’d like to come, and telll them that you don’t expect any gifts. They seem to be pretty understanding that your having a small wedding! 

Post # 5
Member
3755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Let them do it!!! They are your friends and they want to share in your special time. But don’t invite them to the bridal shower, that’s different. They are not invited to the wedding and it’s your family planning the shower, keep them separate. Let them throw you a rocking bach party though since they insist!

Post # 6
Member
1936 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

Keep the bridal shower to those who are invited to the wedding, but by all means, let your friends throw you a bachelorette! It sounds like they want to be involved, and don’t harbor any ill will about your choice for a very intimate wedding. 

 

Post # 7
Member
9209 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

I’d say yes on the bach party, no on the bridal shower.  Sounds like you have some great friends in your life 🙂

Post # 8
Member
685 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’m having a very small destination wedding that none of my friends are going to, but I was glad we all got to celebrate together at my bachelorette party and they all said it was the best trip to Vegas ever!  I’m glad we all got to have some fun

Post # 9
Member
722 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I definitely wouldn’t expect anything from them. But if they choose to (without giving you much choice) you can’t really control them from not doing something if they have their mind set on it

Post # 10
Member
2605 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@Silly_love:  If your friends have offered to have a bachelorette for you, then I think its fine to accept.  Just don’t invite anyone who hasn’t offered or indicated an interest in going.

No, it would not be appropriate to invite people to a shower for a wedding they will not be invited to. 

Post # 11
Member
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m a no on the shower, but go for it on the bachelorette.

Post # 12
Member
3211 posts
Sugar bee

I had a very similar situation to you. I went with a bachelorette party and no bridal shower. It just seems so rude to me and I felt to0 bad to invite them to a bridal shower (where gifts will be given) when I didn’t invite them to my wedding. It turned out great though!

Post # 13
Member
816 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I had a weddingmoon (super small destination wedding) and my friends still wanted to throw me a bachelorette party. I think it’s ok as long as you aren’t inviting SOME friends and not others. Then it’s just awkward. But mine turned out great!

Post # 14
Member
9489 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

No on the shower, yes for bachelorette.  You cannot invite people to a shower when they aren’t invited to the wedding…just no.  Bachelorette is probably something simple like going out for a night on the town and your friends offered.  So do that!  I’d keep it to very close friends though.

Post # 15
Member
859 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

@Silly_love:

No to bridal shower

Yes to bacholerette party

Post # 16
Member
8696 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Definitely not a shower since that is for gifts and I find that rude. I would do the bachelorette.

The topic ‘Having a bacholerette party with friends who are not invited to the wedding’ is closed to new replies.

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