Post # 1
I’ve decided to keep my wedding small and intimate. Only inviting immediate family members. No friends. But my friends want to still throw me a bachelorette party even though they are not invited to the wedding. I appreciate it so much, but feel a little bad and guilty that they want to do that for me. They said they understand about not being invited, but they still want to celebrate with me. I would love a bachelorette party, but I just won’t feel right and will feel guilty. My family is talking about having me a bridal shower too. Can I/should I invite my friends to that too?
Post # 3
I vote no on the bridal shower. It’s a little rude to expect them to shower you with gifts, when they arent invited to the wedding.
The bachelorette I think is ok though, if your friends want to plan something. I would keep it small and only for your nearest and dearest. But I was invited to a bachelorette for a friend that was also having a very small (10 person) wedding, and I was happy that I had a chance to celebrate with her.
Post # 4
It seems like your friends are very understanding, and just want to celebrate with you. I don’t see a problem with them throwing you a bachelorette party.
As for the shower, you could ask them if they’d like to come, and telll them that you don’t expect any gifts. They seem to be pretty understanding that your having a small wedding!
Post # 5
Let them do it!!! They are your friends and they want to share in your special time. But don’t invite them to the bridal shower, that’s different. They are not invited to the wedding and it’s your family planning the shower, keep them separate. Let them throw you a rocking bach party though since they insist!
Post # 6
Keep the bridal shower to those who are invited to the wedding, but by all means, let your friends throw you a bachelorette! It sounds like they want to be involved, and don’t harbor any ill will about your choice for a very intimate wedding.
Post # 7
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
I’d say yes on the bach party, no on the bridal shower. Sounds like you have some great friends in your life 🙂
Post # 8
I’m having a very small destination wedding that none of my friends are going to, but I was glad we all got to celebrate together at my bachelorette party and they all said it was the best trip to Vegas ever! I’m glad we all got to have some fun
Post # 9
I definitely wouldn’t expect anything from them. But if they choose to (without giving you much choice) you can’t really control them from not doing something if they have their mind set on it
Post # 10
@Silly_love: If your friends have offered to have a bachelorette for you, then I think its fine to accept. Just don’t invite anyone who hasn’t offered or indicated an interest in going.
No, it would not be appropriate to invite people to a shower for a wedding they will not be invited to.
Post # 11
I’m a no on the shower, but go for it on the bachelorette.
Post # 12
I had a very similar situation to you. I went with a bachelorette party and no bridal shower. It just seems so rude to me and I felt to0 bad to invite them to a bridal shower (where gifts will be given) when I didn’t invite them to my wedding. It turned out great though!
Post # 13
I had a weddingmoon (super small destination wedding) and my friends still wanted to throw me a bachelorette party. I think it’s ok as long as you aren’t inviting SOME friends and not others. Then it’s just awkward. But mine turned out great!
Post # 14
No on the shower, yes for bachelorette. You cannot invite people to a shower when they aren’t invited to the wedding…just no. Bachelorette is probably something simple like going out for a night on the town and your friends offered. So do that! I’d keep it to very close friends though.
Post # 15
No to bridal shower
Yes to bacholerette party
Post # 16
Definitely not a shower since that is for gifts and I find that rude. I would do the bachelorette.