(Closed) Having a boy, but was hoping for a girl.

posted 8 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 17
Member
77 posts
Worker bee

My dad had four girls before he got his boy, so don’t count on the next one being a girl.

 

Post # 18
Member
9680 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@sept22insf:  I would want a boy and would be devestated if I had a girl. Then again, I know there are some things in life we can’t control so I know I would get over it too. Maybe you will even surprise yourself and end up happier with a boy. You never know until it happens ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 19
Member
904 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I’m not pregnant and we aren’t even TTC for probably another 2.5-3 years, but I’m worried about gender disappointment.  I’m not against having a boy, but I REALLY want a girl.  So much so, that my Fiance and I have already hashed out A Plan.  Provided we’re all healthy and stuff, we’ll have 1 baby the good old-fashioned way.  If said baby is a girl, GREAT!  If we find ourselves wanting a second baby, we’ll do it the old-fashioned way again and be happy with a girl or a boy.  However, if the first baby is a boy, we will very seriously consider adopting a girl.  We only want 2 children at the very most, so if we end up with 2 boys… I’ll be heartbroken.  

I’ve spent an inordinate amount of time analyzing the birth statistcs for my and FI’s families.  My mother is one of 2 girls, but my father is one of 3 boys and 1 girl – and the girl was a late “oopsie” baby.  My Fiance is one of 3 boys and 1 girl – again, the girl was the last child to be born.  FI’s aunt & uncle ended up with 3 boys, and the aunt doesn’t have the heart to try for a girl one more time.  But, FI’s mother is one of 3 girls / 2 boys, and they alternated in birth order.  

FI’s three little boy cousins are MONSTERS, btw.  The youngest started out sweet but his older brothers are slowly but surely corrupting him.

Post # 20
Member
1668 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

FWIW, the whole “boys being monsters” is a myth in my opinion.  I have 2 nephews that were very good little boys.  My niece on the other hand was a horror story during her toddler years.  I mean really.  Demon child.  Even now that these kids are teens and one adult – the boys are better mannered, my niece while sweet as can be has attitude problems.  This is anecdotal – it depends on the child, the parents, etc.  I wouldn’t think that if you have a child of either gender it is an indication of how well behaved they will be.  There are a lot of factors that go into that. 

Post # 21
Member
7643 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’m actually hoping when I get pregnant I have boys because honestly, being a girl, it was tough growing up. Boys kind of shrug stuff off. Some girls? My date rejected me for prom, and I bawled until midnight. My first breakup? My mom had to sleep with me, I wouldn’t eat for 2 days, and my life was “ruined.” I can’t imagine how my mom felt taking care of an irrational teenager that had her heart broken. I also worked with the school, and with girls, anything and everything is a national disaster. It’s always 10x worse than it really is. Taking care of girls is not for the faint hearted, that’s for sure.

Post # 22
Member
413 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I used to preference a girl and now that I’m pregnant — I’m genuinely neutral. The more I’ve thought about having a girl the more it scares me — knowing how much girls are at risk for abuse over their lifetime. This ad that’s been playing in Canada hasn’t helped: http://osocio.org/message/its_a_girl_and_her_odds_arent_good/

I mean, the ad is being deliberately provocative to make a point but it’s really really sad. And I know a lot of women in my life who have been sexually and physically abused from childhood to adulthood, including myself. And there’s a lot more body pressure or self-esteem roadblocks for a girl than if a boy.

If we have a boy, you still have who knows how many hurdles but you have the chance to raise someone who can be a good man in that kinda world. I suppose some part of me is just scared for the challenge of keeping a girl fromo those minefields.

Post # 23
Member
2849 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I felt the same way as you. I wanted a little girl and had convinced myself that’s what it was. Then I had my anatomy scan and found out I was carrying a boy. Of course I’m happy he’s healthy, but it took me a couple days to get over the shock of having a boy. I had to readjust my vision of the future. Now I am excited and looking forward to meeting my little boy in just a couple weeks.

Post # 24
Hostess
11163 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

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@eeniebeans:  Congrats on your baby boy!

I completely understand how you feel. I desperately would love to have a girl but my DH comes from a family that is swimming in boys. His brother has two boys and out of all the kids born in the 80’s there are two girls out of 27 kids. He has five uncles and one aunt. I am sadly not counting on having a girl, although I keep putting it out there in the universe just in case.

Guess we will have to embrace dinosaurs, robots and cars. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 25
Member
8028 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Treejewel19  I’m not pregnant… or do you know something I don’t ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 26
Member
4575 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

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@sept22insf:  I am not pregnant nor have i ever had kids. I am TTC.  I like boys!! They are so cute and so cuddly and so loving with their mommies.  All my friends have boys, so i guess what i am trying to tell you, is that you are going to think different once you see him and interact with him.  Yes, girls are cute and sweet and lovey and all that, but boys are just such protectors even when they are little.  My BFF’s 4 year old yelled at a grown man when he gave me and his mother an attitute.  He said “hey i am going to take you to jail, you meany” lol….and again, you will enjoy your little boy! I enjoy hanging out with my friends’ LO’s   :)) Congratulations, love :)))

Post # 27
Member
980 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@sept22insf:  My husband is like his mom’s male clone. He looks NOTHING like his dad. His brother, on the other hand, looks exactly like his dad. The two brothers seriosuly don’t look related. So who knows, LO might look like you ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 28
Member
1845 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I fell you, I was lucky..I preferred a boy, and that’s what we got, I’ve heard that boys are a bit harder as babies, but a bit easier as they grow up. 

Also, I knew how important it was for my Fiance to carry on his name, so I was really hoping for a boy mostly for his sake. When we were trying for our second I desperately wanted a girl (wanted that “perfect” family) but I just wasn’t successfull at getting pregnant. 

Lwe are now in the process of adopting a girl. I’ve realized how important it is to me to have a little girl. I have a lot of stuff I want to share with a little girl, and since you can’t control what you get pregnant with,  are adopting. (not the only reason, but one of them)

 

Post # 29
Member
7365 posts
Busy Beekeeper

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@NJmeetsBX:  the whole “boys being monsters” is a myth in my opinion.  I have 2 nephews that were very good little boys.

ITA! My family is full of boys and they are wonderful. Ulitmately kids are kids. Either you going to get a high maintance one or not. Personally, I prefer boys, all my God children are male. I think I’d be very disappointed if I couldn’t have son. But of course the goal is healthy well adjusted child, period. So I’d get over my disappointment quickly. 

 

Post # 30
Member
365 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I completely understand gender disappointment.  I was actually hoping for a boy and got lucky and am carrying a boy.  I was not super strongly hoping for a boy, but I did want a boy more than a girl.  However, after we found out, I still felt this sense of loss in not having a girl.  Like you, I am one of 3 girls and now realizing that we will not be able to do all the fun “girly” things.  I feel like before the possibilities are endless, but once you find out the gender, the “possibilites” shrink a bit, which just makes it tough even if you didn’t have a preference one way or the other.

I’m sure once you are holding your LO, you won’t even be able to imagine having anything else.  I actually talked with my mom who is the only girl and only had brothers and she told me how she really wanted boys (had 3 girls) but then you get to where you can’t imagine having anything different than what you have.  It’s okay… just give it time.  I know you will love that little boy!

Post # 31
Member
8879 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I’m feeling the same way.  I don’t know what we’re having but my instincts say boy.  I just want a little girl one day.

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