Post # 1
I don’t know what to think my man first said to have a break for our relationship, we are/where enaged, he says he still loves me but needs time to wokr out some things and the issues we have been having, we did have a fight before this.
But can you have a relationship which one a break from each other and then go back to being enaged? I am so unsure and upset, don’t know hat to think.
Post # 3
@Melz26: i think of a break as a break up. once you have broken up if you decide to et back toether and try again the relationship starts again.
im sorry you are going through this
Post # 4
Only you can know how your relationship works, but usually (in my experiance) a break is a break and things are most likely over.
However, it is possible to bounce back from things like this. Plenty of people have breakups and then get married later down the line. Engagements can be very intense and trying on relationships, and sometimes things get blown out of proportion. Only time can tell.
The best that you can do is be kind to yourself, and take the time that you have to go out and do some things that you enjoy. Spend some time with some girlfriends, see a movie, go out with family. Do some things to get your mind off of what’s going on. If it’s meant to be, it will all work out in the end. If it’s meant to end, it’s most likely ending for good reasons, and you can take this ending as a reason to find something better for yourself.
Good luck to you, and be strong! Things like this are always hard, but they don’t have to be entirely negative.
Post # 5
@Melz26: I know exactly how you feel because right now I am in the same exact situation. My ex Fiance (I guess??) told me that he wanted a break and now I feel like Im in limbo.
I cant really tell you if you two are going to get back together because I dont even know where my relatioship is going, but what I will say is that a break is a break up. Thats basically what it is and thats how I think you should take it. Now that doesnt mean you have to look for someone else or even tell anyone, but you do have to start thinking about yourself.
For instance, ever since he asked me for this “break”, I have been doing things I havent been able to do. I have been seeing old friends, taking time to pamper myself and just focusing on me for a change.
I know that you are very confused and hurt, but take it one day at a time. Im so sorry you are going throught this and I hope everything comes out alright. **Hugs**
Post # 6
I’m sorry you’re in this situation.
Personally, I’ve never been able to get back together after a break up. I mean, I’ve tried. But it’s never worked out. In my experience, once it reaches the point where you’re putting an end to the relationship (even a “temporary” one) it’s over, and it just gets easier, every time it’s rough, to walk away from the relationship again.
Post # 7
I think it depends on the nature of the break. If he gave you a specific amount of time, like a week or two weeks, then hope is not lost. If he gave you an indefinite amount of time, and has not tried to contact you, though, I’d take it as Breakup Jr., and would not be optimistic.
I’m sorry about this. It must be very hard.
Post # 8
It’s entirely ok to go back to being engaged after a ‘break’ or break-up, as long as that is what both people want. It’s not like you can ever erase your history or your feelings for eachother just because you choose to take a break.
I went through something similar with my Fiance, we broke up shortly after getting engaged and very quickly he realized if he let me walk out of his life for good he would regret it for the rest of his life. Now we are living together and actively planning our wedding together.
The key is to make sure the 2 of you actually have a very serious conversation when he comes to his senses. You need to know what caused his desire to want a ‘break’ in the first place and then decide together if its something you can move past. For us it was just my Fiance having a freakout about how much things were changing so quickly.
Every relationship is different, and hopefully you 2 can either work it out or move on to something else.
Post # 9
@drummerbride: ahh some good comments, I just hope mine turns out the same. He still says he loves me and wants to marry me but ust wants space at the moment
Post # 10
@lilipad55: yeah I’m in limbo at the moment with miminal contact from him, and just the waiting hurts, he said it’s not a break-up and he wants to be with me.
Post # 11
In my mind, during one’s Engagement Period… Breaking Up and Taking a Break can be two different things. Just be really aware / clear of which one is happening in YOUR relationship.
BREAKING UP … means that you are both going your seperate ways for a period of time… or indefinitely. Breaking Up means you are free to date other people etc. Break Ups are typically very painful… if not for both partners, at least for one.
TAKING A BREAK … means that someone has become overwhelmed with the Wedding Planning… and needs a rest, to break away, time to regroup. That may include some “space” just to think and recover. This is easier done if the couple doesn’t live together (otherwise it can look a lot like a Break Up).
But if a couple lives together, then Taking a Break may be easiest if one of them goes somewhere quiet for reflection / rejuvenification. Maybe a week / weekend away… be it a vacation, or a visit to a far off friend’s place, or back to the single bed at Mom & Dad’s
Beyond Taking a Break… there is always the concept of sitting down and saying… this being Engaged and Getting Ready for our Wedding is proving to be more stressful than I imagined. There is just sooo much to do and I feel totally overwhelmed. I think we should post-pone the Wedding so that I can better deal with all that I currently have on my plate.
Hope this helps,
Post # 12
@Melz26: first of allll (BIG HUG) omg i’m sooo sorry you are going through this. i know this is hard. I’ve never been engaged but i know that if your taking a break, it’s not a good thing. But, i also know that some people make it in the long run. good luck
Post # 14
Taking a break after becoming engaged seems like a pretty bad sign. Did he say why he wanted to take a break and what the fight was over? Calling it off like that is basically saying that you changed your mind about wanting to be in a serious relationship with this person..
“yeah I’m in limbo at the moment with miminal contact from him, and just the waiting hurts, he said it’s not a break-up and he wants to be with me.”
If he really wanted to be with you he would not have broken up with you, he would have simply stated that he needed some time alone. If all he needs is time alone, then I would confirm with him that this means you are still together and say the word EXCLUSIVE. if he shies away from the word exclusive, there’s your answer.
Post # 15
@Melz26: I don’t personally think I could be in a relationship at all with a man who proposed and then decided later he needed time to “figure things out.” If he decided to make that commitment, this is no longer a dating experience that you can walk away from at any moment. Personally, I would encourage you to move on.
I hope everything works out.
Post # 16
My brother and his wife dated for years and were high school sweet hearts, after being engaged for a while they broke up and took a break. They stayed seperated for a year and didnt have contact. They bother missed eachother so much and after hearing advice and working out their seperate issues, they worked it out and dated again and re-engaged shortly after. They’re now married, everyone has a different case and story.
The way I see it is, if it’s meant to happen it WILL happen.