Post # 1
DFi & I are paying for most of our own wedding, so we need to keep our guest list relatively small so that we don’t go over budget. We had originally planned on inviting about 120 people which was certainly manageable, and now we are up to around 140. I’m having a tough time deciding whether or not to invite a few people. I volunteer for a church group and we do a weekend retreat once a year. I am very close with the people in the group, but we only see each other at our monthly meetings and then that one weekend of the year… I don’t really hang out with them outside of this group. The problem is, I can’t invite everyone from the group, it’s just not feasible, but a couple of weeks ago I added on about 5-7 people from that group that I hadn’t originally planned on inviting. Is it bad etiquette to only invite certain people from a similar group? I guess it would be like inviting some co-workers and not others. I don’t want to ruin any friendships, but I just can’t invite them all.
Post # 3
Can you invite them to the ceremony or alternatively, after dinner?
Is it REALLY going to be a huge deal if you pick & choose which of these people you’re closest to? I mean, you did that with everyone else on your guest list … why are this group the exception? Only you know if it’s going to be a huge deal…and if it is, I would just go with my first suggestion. If it isn’t, then by all means, invite whom you’re closest to and cite budgetary reasons if anyone asks.
EDITED to add: What about an A list & a B list? Send out your A-list invites, and set your RSVP deadline earlier than usual. If you have enough “No’s” to invite your church friends, then send out an invite pronto.
(Or is that considered in bad taste? I have no experience with that, I just thought – logically – it could be an option)
Post # 4
That is touchy, IMO, if you are going to invite some then you should invite them all. Since you are over what you had planned on originally you should be ok taking them off. But before you do, how many are you actually expecting? Could the whole group be invited if you crossed of the “prob nots”? We have about 50 on our guest list that are invited, but it would take a small miracle for them to come, just inviting as to not insult long distant family.
Post # 5
@tksjewelry: It’s really hard to tell who might not be coming. I have family coming from far away, but there are other family events happening around our wedding time (like babies being born) so that our family from far are going to try to coordinate visits to the new baby with our wedding. So unfortunately, I really don’t have anyone on my guest list that I could call a “probably not”.
I agree with you though – it is extremely touchy, which is why I’m having issues with it. The problem is, I’m definitely closer with some of them, and they are definitely being invited. I guess the main issue is that I would like all of them to be there, but I’ll have to make sure its feasible.
Post # 6
Invite who you want to invite. It doesn’t matter if you can’t invite the whole group. As the invitees to keep it on the DL. And express to the other members of the group that you can’t invite everyone tyou want and it’ll be a small wedding. They’ll understand
Post # 7
You don’t have to invite them all. If you do invite anybody from the group, just invite the ones you share some sort of bond and interest. Forgo the ‘obligation’ invites for your special day.
Post # 8
@bebefly “Can you invite them to the ceremony or alternatively, after dinner?” NO that’s rude!
Don’t feel bad about not inviting people in a similar group. Feel no obligation other than how much you want them at the wedding.
Post # 9
@PinkMagnolia: Thanks for clearing that up! I wasn’t sure if that was considered rude or not. Now I know. Thanks!