(Closed) Having a difficult time with my guest list

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1684 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Can you invite them to the ceremony or alternatively, after dinner?

Is it REALLY going to be a huge deal if you pick & choose which of these people you’re closest to? I mean, you did that with everyone else on your guest list … why are this group the exception? Only you know if it’s going to be a huge deal…and if it is, I would just go with my first suggestion. If it isn’t, then by all means, invite whom you’re closest to and cite budgetary reasons if anyone asks.

EDITED to add: What about an A list & a B list? Send out your A-list invites, and set your RSVP deadline earlier than usual. If you have enough “No’s” to invite your church friends, then send out an invite pronto.
(Or is that considered in bad taste? I have no experience with that, I just thought – logically – it could be an option)

Post # 4
14494 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

That is touchy, IMO, if you are going to invite some then you should invite them all.  Since you are over what you had planned on originally you should be ok taking them off.  But before you do, how many are you actually expecting?  Could the whole group be invited if you crossed of the “prob nots”?  We have about 50 on our guest list that are invited, but it would take a small miracle for them to come, just inviting as to not insult long distant family.

Post # 6
1876 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Invite who you want to invite. It doesn’t matter if you can’t invite the whole group. As the invitees to keep it on the DL. And express to the other members of the group that you can’t invite everyone tyou want and it’ll be a small wedding. They’ll understand

Post # 7
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

You don’t have to invite them all. If you do invite anybody from the group, just invite the ones you share some sort of bond and interest. Forgo the ‘obligation’ invites for your special day.

Post # 8
3374 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@bebefly “Can you invite them to the ceremony or alternatively, after dinner?” NO that’s rude!

Don’t feel bad about not inviting people in a similar group. Feel no obligation other than how much you want them at the wedding.

Post # 9
1684 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@PinkMagnolia: Thanks for clearing that up! I wasn’t sure if that was considered rude or not. Now I know. Thanks!

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