Post # 1
Boyfriend or Best Friend and I have a fairly ‘young’ relationship. We’ve been dating for about a year and a half. That said, we’re both very sure of what we want in life, and are very open with each other.
Our current timeline is getting engaged before the end of the Summer. I feel like I should be content with that. Heck, I’d never had a concrete timeline with my ex, and we dated 4 years before getting engaged. However, this waiting period is so, so, so much more difficult.
We stayed with his folks over the weekend, and his dad (drunk at the time, which I’d never seen before!) went on and on and on about how we are a perfect pair and should get married already. I was trying not to cry at how sweet he was being. Drunk or not, I know his parents adore me. His mom kept referring to us as “her kids”. So cute.
I overheard my Boyfriend or Best Friend talking to his older brother on the phone the other night, and he said “yeah, we’re talking about taking the plunge. *pause* Yes, she’s waiting for me to ask her already. *pause* Haha no she doesn’t want to go to Vegas.” It continued on a bit. I DID fess up to him that I’d heard their convo. He thought this was amusing. I, on the other hand, went to bed 4 hours early. This is a weird reaction, I get that. But it was hard to hear him talk about me waiting so nonchalantly. Like I was waiting for Starbucks to make me a mocha. :-/
I have 4-5 good days, where I wholeheartedly appreciate where our relationship is NOW, and where I’m just excited for our future together. And then I have a day like this. Where I’m moody, and cranky, and self-critical, and think about ALL THINGS wedding. (Yes, and marriage. I know the difference. ^_~ )
I went to bed at 7pm last night because I was approaching bad-mood-status.
I am so sad today. 🙁
Just needed to vent, bees.
Post # 3
I feel the same way. Some days are easy to distract yourself and some days are super hard. It’s great that you do have a timeline established and hopefully things will work out sooner than later 🙂 My way of dealing with waiting is to make sure that I am in the best shape I can be, that way, when we do get engaged, I won’t mind all the pics! Hope your day gets better
Post # 4
I’m sorry! The waiting period can come with a lot of varying emotions and I think sadness is most certainly one of those. Some days are just better than others.
I think sometimes guys act non-chalant about the proposal because deep down, they are scared and nervous, even if they know the answer will be yes. There are very few times in a man’s life when he has to deal with those emotions. One is when their child is born. The other is when he is going to propose. So they way the deal sometimes is to act like it’s no big deal. I don’t think they understand how difficult it is to just sit around and wait for the proposal. I have a feeling your guy is just as excited as you, but for now he’s got a tight rein on his emotions.
I’m in a similar situation. SO and I have been together 1.5 years, we went ring shopping, he asked my dad and my dad is already telling people we are getting married next year. However, we’re missing the most important part; the actual proposal!! I think I know when it’s going to be but that’s 11 weeks down the road. Anyway, he’s been pretty tight-lipped over the whole thing and anytime anyone asks, he just smiles and says soon, he has a plan. Like it’s no big deal!
Anyway, we just have to embrace all the emotions that come with this time. It’s difficult somedays, but at least you have all us Bees to vent to! I hope today is a better day for you!
Post # 5
I’m sorry Love 🙁 I completely know how you feel.. But you know what though, Kudos to you for just going to bed early and not arguing with him! seriously.. because i probably would have said something to him that i would have ended up regretting..
I had a horrible “waiting” day saturday. We were surrounded by married and engaged friends alll day and night.. and then when we were in the car i said something to him… then he just went on and on about looking at rings and how he is going to get one soon but wants to make sure its a great ring and that he doesnt get ripped off.. yada yada…. so i really do regret saying anything to him… i think at this point i’ve said all i can say and i;m just going to make myself look pathetic if i keep bringing it up…
I know its going to happen, sometime within a year i suppose! hahah (broad time-line)… but i can say i think your SO is serious about buying you a ring too.. its just a lot of planning and thought on the guys side… so i guess we just have to be patient… as HARDDDD as that is!
Post # 6
@woodchuck: My way of dealing with waiting is to make sure that I am in the best shape I can be, that way, when we do get engaged, I won’t mind all the pics!
Thats awesome Woodchuck! I love that!!
Post # 7
I have been putting more effort into “me time”. Walks with the dog, reading before bed, getting my hair done, etc. It’s not making me feel any better, but it’s not making me feel any worse, either. So I’ll keep at it.
Hoping he gets his act together before I lose my cool. He knows I’m waiting- we talk about it like once or twice a week now. I try not to chatter too much at him as to not look like a crazy person.
I wish he hadn’t brought up the ring discussion until sooner around the time he was ready to actually purchase said ring. I was TOTALLY fine until HE started the long-term talk.. He opened that door and now neither of us can close it again..
Post # 8
@scarlet_letter: I swear that sound exactly like my situation! But it makes me sad to hear you say that doing things for yourself isn’t helping or making things worse.. I honestly think that your guy is going to propose and not too long from now.. He was looking at rings and talking to his brother about it.. My guy is at that point too. And I get really frustrated bc I keep thinking “well do it already!!!” but I do know deep down that it is going to happen.. Maybe not how or when I’d like, but it’s out if my control..
Finding this website has really helped calm my nerves
Honestly though your guy and my guy sound so similar! Because I never thought about it as much as I do now because HE would bring up marriage all the time.. Now I’m the one obsessing about it.. But we need to realize its a great thing these guys think about it.. Because wouldn’t it be worse if they didn’t?
Post # 9
Post # 10
@killerQueen13: Thank you for the link. I will keep this in mind..
Post # 11
I have days like you its not a fun feeling. I have been waiting over a year and ahalf