(Closed) Having a Friend as your Officiant

posted 6 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@inky_1:  We are having a friend officiate. He doesn’t need a license in Pennsylvania because the officiant doesn’t need a license in PA. The marrying couple does.

Post # 4
Hostess
1427 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@inky_1:  DH’s close friend officiated for us. We didn’t have a pastor in mind or anything so we asked his friend to.

In California, anyone can be deputized to perform ONE marriage. It’s around 80 dollars for the class and they have to list the name of the people they’re marrying and the date. Pretty straightforward!

Post # 6
Member
1022 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@inky_1:  correct

Post # 7
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee

@inky_1:  Yes. Because of the “full faith and credit” clause in the Constitution, the other 49 states will all recognize your wedding that takes place in Maryland and you don’t have to do anything special.

Post # 8
Member
7311 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

One of Mr. Lk’s good friends got ordained online to perform our ceremony. I wrote everything and sent it to him about 2 weeks before the wedding. At the rehearsal we had a version printed in large font in a 1″ 3 ring binder for him to use. We also had a back-up copy for the day-of, just in case he forgot the binder at home that day.

It made Mr. LK very happy to have his friend perform the ceremony, and it worked fine for us. 🙂

Post # 9
Member
7311 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

@inky_1:  As long as it is a heterosexual marriage, Virginia is required to recognize your marriage that occurred in another state. So you are good to go.

Post # 10
Member
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

We’re having a friend/colleague officiate ours. She is an excellent public speaker, has similar views on life and relationships to us (plus 17 years of marriage under her belt), and will work REALLY hard to make sure it is perfect. She cried when we asked, so I think she definitely considered it an honor.

I emailed the County Clerk where we are getting married to confirm this was allowed (so we have it in writing!). She is getting “ordained” through ULC. We are not religious and don’t believe in church authority, so we have no concerns with this.

I am VERY excited about it. I think picking someone that you know is comfortable “managing” a room and public speaking is key.

Not that you asked, but FWIW for others, it’s actually costing us MORE to have her do the ceremony than if we hired someone locally. But it is worth it to have something we know will be meaningful and doesn’t cross any lines with our beliefs. We’re paying for 2 nights in a hotel for her (it is out of town and we want her there Friday for rehearsal) plus I bought her a $165 really beautiful custom wall hanging for her home as a thank you. She said it “wasn’t necessary” for us to pay for the hotel, but I wanted to err on the side of being generous and thankful.

Post # 12
Member
61 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@nycsa: I have been looking into officiants here in pa and having a rough Time. Are you saying I can have, say, one of the groomsmen be the officiant without any certifications to do so?

Post # 13
Member
61 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@nycsa:  sorry I am double posting I forgot to hit the reply the first time. But are you saying in pa I could have, say, one of the groomsmen officiate the ceremony and sign our marriage license and it is legal and valid? Even though he has no certifications to officiate?

Post # 14
Member
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Diehlrl:  yes because the marrying couple actually obtains the license. It is called a Quaker license but you don’t have to be a Quaker to get it. I think there is a thread on wedding bee dealing with this.

 

Post # 15
Member
61 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@nycsa:  that sounds like exactly what we need! I contacted DJ’s in the area we will be getting married and one won’t do weekends, and the other wants me to call a few months ahead to see if it meshs with his schedule and i’m nervous the one judge who will do it will get snapped up by someone else before I get another call in around February! I will look into this. Thank you!

Post # 16
Member
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Diehlrl:  Call your county to make sure. I know it is ok in Berks County

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