Post # 1
Hi I was wondering if anyone has ever been in this sitution…
One of my best college friends (bridesmaid and college roommate) is getting her Doctor of Physical Therapy degree. For the degree they have three 10 week internships in various locations. Well she was stationed in my city for the first round and asked if she could possibly stay in one of our extra bedrooms (we have two guest rooms right now). She offered to pay rent and everything.
Of course I asked Darling Husband and he said it was fine. I know it would be relatively hard for her to find a place for such a short and random time peiod and having the extra money towards our mortgage for three months would be nice.
I guess I am just wondering if anyone else has had a roommate while married. How did it go? Any advice or things to be careful of?
Post # 2
This is a big NO NO. We would never bring a friend into our home, female or male
Post # 3
futuremrspete: I don’t see anything wrong with helping one of your best friends for 10 weeks. If she’s known for going after unavailable men, or if your husband can’t keep his hands to himself, then I wouldn’t do it. But if you’re all normal emotionally healthy adults, I absolutely would.
Post # 4
I think you should have her agree to a trial period first. Helping out a friend is great, but adding 33% more humans to your household can be detrimental to your home life. It really has everything to do with what the group dynamic is going to be between the 3 of you.
I suggest 2 weeks to start. Make sure she understands that after 2 weeks she may have to relocate. I also would not accept rent during this trial period.
Good luck. My sister (who is a lovely houseguest) stayed with us for 10 days and we stopped having sex during that time and had our first and only fight. If she was staying for a longer time, it really would have been rough.
So I have a rule, family only. However, we only have 1 guest room, so maybe your house is huge and you have multiple living rooms? I think if we had a 2nd living room or a den, it wouldn’t have been so bad. I love my sister, but seeing her sitting on the couch during all waking hours was just too much.
But Darling Husband (then FI) wasn’t comfortable having sex with someone else in our home. That was rough.
Post # 5
I had my younger brother stay with us this summer. I asked Fiance of course and he was fine with it but we quickly learned we like our house to ourselves 🙂
Post # 6
futuremrspete: I think it totally depends on the dynamic between the three of you. For example, there’s only one friend who I could imagine staying with us for a prolonged period of time, as she gets on really well with both my husband and I.
Post # 7
10 weeks to help out a friend is great! In other situations I would NEVER do this, but I think your case is an exception to the rule.
Post # 8
Daisy_Mae: Yeah I am not at all worried about any funny business going on between the two of them. My Darling Husband is rarely home when I am not anyway.. He works longer hours and is getting his MBA at night 2 days a week.
sway0060: I have no doubts we will prefer to have our home to ourselves but I am the type of person who always wants to help a friend in need!
KellyTee: Thanks for the advice! When I lived with her in college she was always a very ‘stay in her own room’ type of person and her roommates in grad school said the same. She doesn’t really hang out in the living room that much. We do have a ‘den’ area on a seperate floor but there isn’t a television. She will also have her own bathroom.
Post # 9
futuremrspete: Darling Husband and I had someone stay with us for about 5 months last year. She was about 20 and her home life was toxic so we took pity. She only had the couch to sleep on and it was in our tiny apartment. I will tell you it wasn’t easy. She had no idea how to be an independent adult, so it was a lot of us teaching her how to be a room mate.
It was hard.
Post # 10
It really depends on the kind of people you are and your schedules. I don’t see anything wrong with helping out a friend and having a little extra income, but it could cause some tension in your daily life. It is only for 3 months, so it totally depends on you.
Post # 11
futuremrspete: I think this is the ONLY way I would let a friend stay that long. If all parties knew and made it clear when the move out date was.
Post # 12
ABL12490: Yeah, I wasn’t sure at first but then I realized it was only 10 weeks… We already have one week planned vacation (and now she will be there to watch our dog so we don’t have to pay to board her). I am sure we will end up taking some weekend trips to other places during that time as well.
Post # 13
- Wedding: July 2015 - Carmen\'s Lakeview
We have a colleague stay with us during the week many weeks. (He travels 4 hours each way to work every week where we are). He’s about 20 years older than my fiance and I. Most days we get along and it’s fine but there are moments where his sloppiness can annoy the hell out of me. We definitely appreciate the weekends, as he ends up travelling back to see his Girlfriend then and we get our time back to ourselves. Needless to say, we rarely have sex during the week 🙁 But the extra bit of money does help. We’ve had this “system” for almost 2 years now…
I say if you can do it, go for it. Its only 10 weeks and it’s not a permanent thing.
Post # 14
RedHeadKel: She has to be in another state (on the other side of the country) on a specific date for the start of her second clinical internship so the move out date would be set.
Post # 15
I had two roomates in college and my bf/fi essentially lived there since we couldn’t take the dog to his place. I will say it was tough because she is a difficult person to live with and most disagreements were over things like keeping the kitchen clean or hogging the tv/sofa (which were mine). As long as it’s for a short amount of time and there are set boundries (she gets x amount of space in the fridge, takes turns cooking, etc) I think it should be fine especially bc there is the set distinction that it’s your home and you make the rules. It probably won’t be fun but you’ll make it 10 weeks and will value your privacy way more when she leaves lol