(Closed) Having a friend live with you and your husband…?

posted 5 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 2
Member
567 posts
Busy bee

This is a big NO NO. We would never bring a friend into our home, female or male

Post # 3
Member
8856 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

futuremrspete:  I don’t see anything wrong with helping one of your best friends for 10 weeks. If she’s known for going after unavailable men, or if your husband can’t keep his hands to himself, then I wouldn’t do it. But if you’re all normal emotionally healthy adults, I absolutely would.

Post # 4
Member
301 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I think you should have her agree to a trial period first. Helping out a friend is great, but adding 33% more humans to your household can be detrimental to your home life. It really has everything to do with what the group dynamic is going to be between the 3 of you. 

I suggest 2 weeks to start. Make sure she understands that after 2 weeks she may have to relocate. I also would not accept rent during this trial period. 

Good luck. My sister (who is a lovely houseguest) stayed with us for 10 days and we stopped having sex during that time and had our first and only fight. If she was staying for a longer time, it really would have been rough. 

So I have a rule, family only. However, we only have 1 guest room, so maybe your house is huge and you have multiple living rooms? I think if we had a 2nd living room or a den, it wouldn’t have been so bad. I love my sister, but seeing her sitting on the couch during all waking hours was just too much. 

But Darling Husband (then FI) wasn’t comfortable having sex with someone else in our home. That was rough.

Post # 5
Member
2573 posts
Sugar bee

I had my younger brother stay with us this summer. I asked Fiance of course and he was fine with it but we quickly learned we like our house to ourselves 🙂

Post # 6
Member
949 posts
Busy bee

futuremrspete:  I think it totally depends on the dynamic between the three of you. For example, there’s only one friend who I could imagine staying with us for a prolonged period of time, as she gets on really well with both my husband and I.

Post # 7
Member
1312 posts
Bumble bee

10 weeks to help out a friend is great! In other situations I would NEVER do this, but I think your case is an exception to the rule. 

Post # 9
Member
498 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

futuremrspete:  Darling Husband and I had someone stay with us for about 5 months last year. She was about 20 and her home life was toxic so we took pity. She only had the couch to sleep on and it was in our tiny apartment. I will tell you it wasn’t easy. She had no idea how to be an independent adult, so it was a lot of us teaching her how to be a room mate.

It was hard.

Post # 10
Member
893 posts
Busy bee

It really depends on the kind of people you are and your schedules. I don’t see anything wrong with helping out a friend and having a little extra income, but it could cause some tension in your daily life. It is only for 3 months, so it totally depends on you.

Post # 11
Member
5954 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

futuremrspete:  I think this is the ONLY way I would let a friend stay that long. If all parties knew and made it clear when the move out date was.

Post # 13
Member
773 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015 - Carmen\'s Lakeview

We have a colleague stay with us during the week many weeks. (He travels 4 hours each way to work every week where we are). He’s about 20 years older than my fiance and I. Most days we get along and it’s fine but there are moments where his sloppiness can annoy the hell out of me. We definitely appreciate the weekends, as he ends up travelling back to see his Girlfriend then and we get our time back to ourselves. Needless to say, we rarely have sex during the week 🙁 But the extra bit of money does help. We’ve had this “system” for almost 2 years now…

I say if you can do it, go for it. Its only 10 weeks and it’s not a permanent thing.

Post # 15
Member
1065 posts
Bumble bee

I had two roomates in college and my bf/fi essentially lived there since we couldn’t take the dog to his place. I will say it was tough because she is a difficult person to live with and most disagreements were over things like keeping the kitchen clean or hogging the tv/sofa (which were mine). As long as it’s for a short amount of time and there are set boundries (she gets x amount of space in the fridge, takes turns cooking, etc) I think it should be fine especially bc there is the set distinction that it’s your home and you make the rules. It probably won’t be fun but you’ll make it 10 weeks and will value your privacy way more when she leaves lol

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