(Closed) Having a friend live with you and your husband…?

posted 5 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 16
Member
3448 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

I think as long as everybody knows and agrees to a firm, ironclad, carved in stone end date to her staying then it’s fine. 

Post # 17
Member
2573 posts
Sugar bee

futuremrspete:  I am also that type my borther had just moved out from living at home in another province. We figured we would give him a free place to stay while he got a job and got on his feet. Not even two weeks in I was trying not to regret our decision.

All I mean by this is be very sure this is something you can handle 10 weeks might feel pretty long when they are actually there. You don’t want to ruin a friendship over trying to help out.

Post # 18
Member
425 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

My best friend is having renovations done on her house and she is staying with us for a couple months. Our situation might be a little different because I have known her since middle school and my Fiance has known her since we started dating 7 years ago so they are really good friends too. 

Her grad school classes and horseback riding do keep her out of the house pretty much all day until after dinner most days so we still have plently of time to ourselves though. 

Post # 19
Member
44 posts
Newbee

Absolutely not. Thats asking for trouble and awkward situations

Post # 20
Member
6040 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2019 - City, State

 

futuremrspete:  when I opened the thread I was prepared to say NO NO NO NO LOL. But now reading the details I think it’s fine. It’s a set amount of time with a very specific purpose with someone who is willing to chip in. I would imagine that with her reason for being in your city she won’t be around to much. It’s not as if you’re taknig in some free loading friend who needs help putting a roof over their head. This is a really motivated friend who offered up rent and is asking for a temporary favor that has limits. I think it will all work out just fine.

Post # 21
Member
2863 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I did this for about 5 months with a friend after she got divorced. 10 weeks isn’t that long, extra money for you and you help a friend. I’d do it. 

Post # 22
Member
2967 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

i wouldn’t say we had roommates, but when my husband was in the military, sometimes his buddies would stay with us for a few weeks if they were about to pcs or something.

for us, it wasn’t a problem at all. we had a very spacious house and whoever was staying with us had their own bedroom and bathroom. they didn’t pay rent, we didn’t even pay rent, so it really wasn’t necessary.

Post # 23
Member
195 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I’m engaged, not married yet. To be honest I don’t think I could have anyone live with me and my husband. I’ll be honest, I’m too paranoid for that – judge me not lol

Post # 24
Member
54 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

futuremrspete:  

I’ve been the friend on the opposite side of that situation, although in my case it was my friend & her husband who suggested the idea. However, I didn’t move into their house – we all rented a house together. Neither they nor I could, at the time, afford to rent a full house on our own. We split the rent equally between the three of us.

Long story, but the gist of it was that the arrangement worked out really well for us for about a year, but did end up falling apart when their financial situation improved enough that they could afford the place on their own. They changed some of their plans and asked me to move out on fairly short notice. For a variety of reasons, it caused a lot of a resentment on both sides and our friendship did not survive the experience.

I would say it really depends on your respective personalities (all three of you) and how well all three of you get along together, but keep in mind that situations can change rapidly. On the one hand, it can be fun & help out with mortgage/rent payments – on the other hand, things can get unpleasant very quickly if it doesn’t work out. I imagine a firm timeline and some ground rules that everyone agrees to stick to would probably help with this, though 🙂

 

Post # 25
Member
9815 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

For 10 weeks, sure

Post # 26
Member
8065 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

futuremrspete:  I think the fact that (1) you are all normal emotionally stable adults (2) she’s paying rent and (3) it has a definitive end date makes this totally fine. Even if it does get old after a month you won’t lose your mind because you can focus on the countdown until your house is your own again! 

Post # 28
Member
1980 posts
Buzzing bee

Having someone LIVE with you, as in permanently, I would not go for. But helping her out for 10 weeks while she embarks on something awesome? I think that would be a really generous thing to do, and much more doable. I’m sure she’d appreciate it and if she pulls her weight, all the better. That’s what good friends do, even if it’s a bit inconvenient at times.

Post # 29
Member
782 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

futuremrspete:  I think you are being a wonderful friend and I really don’t see how people could have a problem with it. Obviously she is a good friend of yours and she is offering to pay rent so no big deal! Plus it is only 10 weeks and she sounds like she is a very driven woman so I am sure she will spend most of her time studying, working etc. I say enjoy the perks of having a friend live with you while you can! 🙂

Post # 30
Member
7371 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Best friend, absolutely. 

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