(Closed) Having a friend live with you and your husband…?

posted 4 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 46
Member
4698 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I’m really torn on this.. 

On one hand, I’m over having roommates and couldn’t do it again. On the other, I’d probably make an allowance (if we had the space, which we don’t) for a close friend, whom I’d already lived with. 

10 weeks is a long time though.. 

Post # 47
Member
422 posts
Helper bee

We aren’t married yet but have been engaged/living together for a few years. We had a friend recently move to our area and we were planning on having him stay just a few weeks but now are are looking for another apartment where we can actually move in together for the next year to save some money for the wedding.

Yea I have my complaints, but all in all its not bad

Post # 48
Member
9588 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

Last year I lived with a married couple.  The biggest issue was that if the wife wanted something (like, to give me less money than was agreed upon when we rented our house out to a friend of hers) she would simply say that the two of them agreed that this was what was going to happen, and 2 votes > 1 vote.  Turns out she was lying every time she pulled this, and luckily her hubby is awesome and just fixed whatever she did quietly after the fact.  

Since it’s only 10 weeks, I won’t even bother with the advice I have.  You’ll be fine–how much crap can she pull (or can you pull on her) in 10 weeks?

Post # 49
Member
1553 posts
Bumble bee

I’d personally prefer to stay at a cheap, clean hotel than with a friend for 10 weeks, even if I had to pay more. Extended Stay has suites with full kitchens and everything, and rock bottom weekly rates.

Post # 50
Member
7977 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

10 weeks to help someone out? Sure. We actually did this a while back with one of DH’s friends. The major problems were lack of privacy (our house is tiny!) and the fact that we only have one bathroom. But if the house was a bit bigger, I’m sure it would be fine. I used to have friends stay over for weeks and weeks when I was a teenager, but we had a much bigger house with three bathrooms back then! It does make such a difference.

Post # 51
Member
1018 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

This is not some random person or friend you hardly know, this is a bridesmaid!! So I’m assuming she is someone you and your Darling Husband know well. She is pursuing higher education so she will be kept quite busy so it’s not like she’ll be hanging around the house all day, every day. For people suggesting it’s not a good idea because she and your husband might get up to no good, it comes across like they have their own trust issues! You don’t need a houseguest to get into trouble! (OP I’m not suggesting that anything would be out of sorts I’m merely stating that for people to object to it on the grounds that it’ll be too much of a temptation for them is ridicilous).

She is paying you rent and you are happy to have the extra money. It’s win win. If you feel like you need a bit of space, take some of that extra cash and treat yourselves to a wknd away! If she’s any bit the adult, she will be respectful of your space/privacy.

Post # 52
Member
6 posts
Newbee

futuremrspete:  I was in similiar situation….got married bought a house immediately afterwards, best friend/bridesmaid wanted to stay with us for a few months…turned into six months. Worst decision ever. It completely caused so much stress and tension in our marriage. She is a wonderful person but even after being married for 3 years, we like our house to ourselves. The little things will start to add up and disrupt your life. Could even ruin your friendship. As much as you want to help her out, it might end up hurting your marriage and your friendship. I would say no politely….

Post # 53
Member
6 posts
Newbee

MrsAnderson77:  also, working in medical, you never know what time you’re actaully going to get off of work. This can make it hard to know when roomate is coming/going, esp a problem when you/your hubby is trying to sleep.

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