(Closed) Having a friend or family member perform the ceremony?

posted 6 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 17
Member
128 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@esk716:  We’re having my uncle marry us, but I’m having a hard time drafting our ceremony.  I recently went to a wedding where the officiant asked the bride and groom three questions (separately) and read their answers.  I’m pretty sure the questions were 1.) what do you like most about your SO 2.)when did you know you were in love and 3.) what is your relationship like?  Obviously you have to be okay with the answers being shared in front of your guests, but it made the ceremony very personal – so that idea is on my radar.

Any one else have suggestions to incorporate their own personal touches to their ceremony?

Post # 18
Member
1952 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

We had my friend marry us. She is very comfortable speaking in public, she does it on a daily basis in her job so she did great. I wrote our ceremony (a combination of a few that I loved) & she added some personal touches…how she knew me and our history together. And how sure knew my groom & what he has added to my life.

I echo what PP posters have said…make sure he is comfortable speaking in public and decide early on who will write your ceremony. Go Over it together in great detail!

Post # 19
Member
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@esk716: Husband and I met post-college so we don’t have a ton of mutual friends. We asked the one friend that knows us equally to perform, paid for her to get ordained, the whole bit. At first husband was not totally on board because it didn’t feel “as official” to him. But after talking about it more and attending friends’ weddings that involved a friend/family, he was convinced. It just felt so much more meaningful to have someone who knows us and could bring in personal anecdotes. It helps our friend is used to public speaking and talking in front of large groups, she was absolutely wonderful and made our day that much more special.

Post # 20
Member
1212 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

My brother in law is marrying us. In Colorado, you can’t just “get ordained,” but it’s totally legal for us to marry ourselves 🙂 So in reality….he’s performing the ceremony, but we’re signing the license and declaring ourselves wed! 

Post # 21
Member
7200 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

My cousin got ordained a few years ago to perform a friend’s wedding. She’s done a couple since. She has been super supportive of my relationship and we are strongly considering having her perform our ceremony. I just can’t decide if it will feel like a pretend playground wedding. Undecided

Post # 22
Member
519 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

A HAPPY STORY IN FAVOR OF FAMILY GETTING ORDAINED:

My Mom-mom is the only religious “authority” in my life. She’s taught me how to be a good and decent person and she is such an important part of my life. She is lovingly known as “Sister Janice” to the extended family. I passively mentioned getting her ordained to perform the ceremony if my husband and I ever got married, and she lit up right away. The moment we got engaged I asked her if she would still be interested, and she was thrilled.

The woman is blind, handicapped, and 83 years old but she practiced every last word of her original ceremony for a whole year and did a beautiful job. She took pride in the opportunity and treated it with so much respect.

People who attended our wedding who did not personally know her had no idea she was family. She was so poised and well-spoken, and she respected my husbands wishes to keep out all the hefty things that you mentioned like “serve and obey”.

It was the best decision we ever made.

But she took the job seriously. She even promised to stand at the podium and for all the pictures despite how badly her back and legs hurt.

It was the best part of our wedding, truly. It made the ceremony so special. I love her so much for doing it.

She was cool as a cucumber before the ceremony began.

 

She performed the ceremony from memory, no reading. It was so natural.

Sorry for the pic overload. I just needed to convey how precious this opportunity was. <3

Post # 23
Member
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@MexiPino:  That was my husband’s concern too but for us (and I’m sure the same to be true for you), our friend took it extremely seriously (not that she was serious the entire time) and was thoughtful through and through.

Post # 24
Member
3281 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

We are having a dear friend officiate our wedding! We’ve written our own ceremony (with a place for the friend to insert his own little section), and it is the #1 thing I am excited about for our wedding. We spent so much time writing the ceremony, and our friend is a great, funny speaker who is also extremely important to us. I can’t wait!!

Also, legalities vary a lot by state. We’re getting married in Florida, and they are totally fine with online ordinations, thank goodness!

Post # 25
Member
1366 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

A friend of ours did it.  I’ve seen him speak in front of clients so I wasn’t worried about it but it is good to know how comfortable your brother would be. 

I loved it because it brings a personal touch to the ceremony.  In our case he was around when we got together so he was able to briefly tell the story.  He also made it humourous which was perfect for us (although he cleared every comment with us.)

Post # 26
Member
2523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I think it is awesome!  We considered doing something like that, but then we found a really laid back pastor we liked that was a friend of a friend of the families.  If you are imagining a church wedding, many churched don’t let you bring in an outside person to do it.  

Post # 27
Member
703 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

A friend of mine from high school got ordained online this year so he can marry us this coming June:) we were kind of joking at a party saying that we needed someone to get ordained online and save us some $$. He took it seriously and surprised us! 

Post # 29
Member
1443 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

We had a friend get ordained online and marry us. We live in Alabama, so our options were to do this, or find a minister when neither of us attended a church, and were agnostic/atheist. We didn’t want a ceremony about God, because not oly would it have felt very uncomfortable for us, it also felt like we would have been starting our marriage with a bunch of promises and lies to a god we didn’t believe in. And even the “state judges” that is the other option here, all do very religious ceremonies. So that was out too. 

I wrote our cereomy in full, and our friend is an actress, just like us, so she had no problem speaking publicly. It was perfect and I would not have had it any other way.

 

Post # 30
Member
7200 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@sharkchomp:  yeah, I know she would do a great job. I think part if my hesitation I is that her mom performed our cousins ceremony (though, not really. They were married at court but her mom was the “officiant” at, essentially, a fake ceremony). My dad STILL jokes about it. In fact, when I talked to him about having a civil ceremony he said “youre not gonna have your aunt do it, right?”  Sigh. 

Post # 31
Member
1022 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

My Future Sister-In-Law will be legally marrying us here and performing the ceremony in Brazil. She has been so sweet and supportive of our union from the first time my Fiance brought me around so we wanted to include her to let her know how special she is. We cannot wait!

The topic ‘Having a friend or family member perform the ceremony?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors