(Closed) Having a little freak out about moving in together.

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1765 posts
Buzzing bee

Hi Reno Rose,

I went back and read your post about moving in for July.  It seems that he agreed to make it a place for both of you, and I realize in this post, that money is an issue.   It might help if you look at house magazines together, and show him photos that you like, that you think he would like for a style too??  Then you can talk about what you both like/dislike in the photos?  You could also go window shopping at the mall?  Also, fresh paint works wonders too.  Perhaps the two of you can choose a paint color for the bedroom together, (and then he’d have to take his stuff down/out/off the walls to paint)  Maybe you could get some small decor items that you both like that would make an impact.  It is hard to know without knowing both of your tastes or seeing current photos of each of your spaces.   Regarding his previous experiences with his ex, I guess you wouldn’t pick pink paint and frilly pillows! lol.  But maybe if you both like neutral natural baskets, maybe some green plants, or succulents.  Good luck!

Post # 4
Member
4547 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I would sit down with him and discuss your feelings. Open and honest communication is very important in all relationships an it should ease the transition of you moving in. When I moved in with Fiance (we were still dating then), I felt very odd and stressed because it didn’t feel like “my” home too. We ended up talking it out and little by little we made small changes we could afford until it felt more mine. Ultimately, it was a one bedroom apartment and I couldn’t feel like it was truly mine until I had my stuff (which was in a storage unit because it didn’t fit) so we ended up moving to a 2 bedroom apartment that really feels like both our hommes because we’ve both decorated it and it has both our things in it. Long story short, communication is key!

Post # 5
Member
4024 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think you guys can find a happy medium. Why don’t you pick a style you both like, and then just start changing little things, like making the pillows match. If you take him with you to buy stuff and ask his opinion i bet he would feel better about it.

Post # 7
Member
1200 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@RenoRose: Any progress? I’m dealing with this right now:(

Post # 8
Member
1211 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@RenoRose:I totally understand what you’re dealing with. I’m moving in with my SO in August, so I have a long time, but I’m already stressing out. I live in a cute, stylish apartment in an amazing location. He owns a home in a part of town that I don’t love and the house is total man cave. It’s old and needs a LOT of work (the carpet is disgusting and needs to be replaced like most other things. It was a foreclosure home). We don’t have a lot of money to make those changes with. I’m just trying to explain to myself that I love him more than I love my environment and even without money, patience and careful planning will give us a home we BOTH love.

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