(Closed) having a relationship with a SO who has ADD/ADHD… How do you cope? Advice?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
923 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

My Fiance has ADD.  He doesn’t have the hyperactive component that you seem to be describing.  With him, it tends to manifest itself as starting 349,489 different projects.  He’ll work on them all, but never really finishes any of them.  I can’t say much, since I tend to do the same thing.  He doesn’t really take his meds except when he’s in school and needs to concentrate on one thing at a time, like studying.  I just see it as that’s how he is.  He makes himself lists to keep himself on track and that really seems to help him concentrate on what is most important to get done that day/week/month.

Post # 5
Member
1092 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Mswaitingbee:  I don’t have a SO with ADD…. I have it myself. I wish I was diagnosed sooner and not at almost 48 years old. It’s like a whold new world has opened up to me, I’m no longer forgetful, my mind can focus on tasks and I’m productive.

My psycologist explained my diagnosis very simply. ADD is a chemical imbalance in the brain. You don’t produce enough dopemine in the executive part of the brain. The executive part of the brain filters the information that comes through. Think of it like you’re a CEO of a company and the job of your executive secretary is to filter all the information that comes into the office. She only gives you the important stuff and weeds out all the uneccessary stuff. It’s like there’s a TV in your head and the channels are constantly changing from one to another. I hope this gives you a better understanding of what your bf goes through. Please try to be patient with him, he doesn’t do these things on purpose.

I understand you’re frustrated with him when he doesn’t take his meds but let me ask, Why doesn’t he take them everyday? Doesn’t he want to function at his best everyday? On the days he does take them be glad he’s getting things done no matter if you think he should relax or spend time hanging out with you. The meds are making him focus and he wants to get tasks done. Plus they also give you a boost of energy. If you had a cup or 2 of coffee can you sit down and relax? No, you have energy and can’t just turn it off. Just be a bit more patient and understanding with him.

 

Post # 6
Member
253 posts
Helper bee

I have adhd as far as tourettes. Has he considered going back to school? If I were you I would be more patient with him and try maybe ask him why he dosent take his meds everyday.

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