Post # 1
This whole wedding thing has gotten to me. I am the only daughter of a mother who is my best friend but was too old and too tomboyish to do anything girly with me. Planning has been hard, because I am 600 miles away, and I have no DIY, craftiness in me. All of my Fiance family (his sisters, and aunts) keep telling me they will help, even my amazing friend who is getting married weeks after me keeps asking if I need help. I feel blessed but I also don’t know how they could help.
I also am having issues with the way I look, I have a history of hating myself… but it’s gone to a level it hasn’t gone to a while. No one cried with me trying on dresses, not my mother, not friends, Maid/Matron of Honor. No one.. yes every thing looked lovely but I wasn’t so beautiful y’know..
AAnd the cake which I am mad at myself for even thinking because it’s ridiculous.. that not one person in the 2 years we have been engaged has said I am going to be a beautiful bride. It’s dumb.. I know! It is also adding to the fact that I don’t feel like it’s my wedding we are just planning this party, and I feel silly for being the center of attention.
I just want this wedding over with either be done with it, or cancel it.
Post # 4
I think a large number of brides go through this. I know I did at least.
My first suggestion is write down how you picture your day. Show it to Fiance and see what differs and compromise on making it right for the both of you. Then write down a list of things you need to do to make it come true .
If youre not a diy type of person, dont diy. Half the time DIYing it is more expensive then just buying already made stuff.
It sounds like you have a lot of people willing to help, so once you have your list down, sit down with a few of them and ask them if there is anything on the list they would be willing to help with.
And lastly, you must be beautiful or your Fiance wouldnt be marrying you. So always remember that. Doll yourself up, do something that makes you feel awesome about yourself (whether it is swimming, having sex, or singing) and then go try on your dress again. As long as you feel beautiful in it, others will be happy.
Post # 5
That sucks, I’m sorry. It’s hard to not have your support-network so far away, especially during something as stressful as wedding-planning.
I must say, I went dress-shopping with my best friend and her family for her wedding and no one had any of those emotional reactions even though she looked beautiful in each dress; once we found THE dress, we gushed about how it was perfect for her (because it was absolutely perfect for her beyond what any of us could have expected) but no one cried, and if I recall no one even called her beautiful even though she was. No one told her she’d be a beautiful bride, either, but she was. I was too if I do say so myself, with my first marriage, but no one told me I would be. Maybe the groups you and I run with just don’t say things like that, but now I’ll remember to say it if I think it!
My friend also called on us to help her get things done. I think you should sit down with a list of all the elements of your wedding that you want to get done and figure out what still needs to be done. Talk to the people who have offered help and throw out the things you still need help with; ask them for ideas. I bet you’ll get ideas and offers coming at you and you can take some of this stress off of your own shoulders and delegate tasks to people who have offered to help.
It will be over soon, sooner than you’ll want it to be. You will love every minute of the party itself. If you love your fiance, you’ll be so happy you can’t fail to be beautiful. I know that’s a cliche but it’s true, I have yet to see an ugly bride because I have yet to see a bride who isn’t happy to be marrying her man. I’m lucky like that. It will be okay. Take some time off for yourself, take some time off to be close to your fiance, and remember that ten years down the line most of the details that are stressing you out now won’t even register anymore.
Post # 6
Oh no my post got lost on your other thread that got deleted! It seems like everything got all messed up when the site was down for a bit. I’ll paste what I wrote.
Aw I’m sorry you’re feeling that way. Cheer up! Or have Ryan Gosling cheer you up:
But seriously, at the end of the day, you will be married to the love of your life and that’s all that matters! And I am sure you will be a beautiful bride!
Post # 7
@Nicoley1985: OH JEEBUS CHRIST! drools
Post # 8
You’ve been engaged for TWO YEARS! and still have 5 months to go! I think that’s part of your blues. Being engaged/planning a wedding for two years would add a lot of stress I think. There is no way I could wait that long. I feel like there’s a planning lull for my wedding and we will only be engaged for a year.
Post # 9
I also feel like part of the problem is that because of the media and the internet we all feel like there are these *shoulds* that you have to be doing/accomplishing to have a perfect wedding. Don’t let it get to you, there is no one way for things to happen.
Post # 10
Thanks for the picture! And yes.. 2 years is a long fricken time.. I’m over it. I wasn’t even planning for that long. I think it also has bored people around us, because the wedding feels like it is never coming.