(Closed) Having a rough day

posted 7 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
150 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@SadSecret: i just want to give you a big hug.

Post # 4
Member
1294 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

**SUPER BIG HUG** I am so terribly sorry that you are going through this. I really am. 

Post # 5
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

Awww ((HUGS)). I can only imagine what you are going through.  But maybe its time to tell this friend what happened, and how you feel. And maybe a few other people as well. It might help with your grief, to just get it out, so you and your husband aren’t shouldering this all alone. I am so, so sorry for your lose, and you are right, this isn’t fair.  But hopefully, it will happen for you soon.  ((HUGS)) again

Post # 6
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I’m sorry you’re feeling down. That’s to be expected. Try not to compare situations with your friend, that will only lead to frustration and resentment. Focus on coming to terms with your own loss and what your goals are for the future.

Give yourself time to grieve and then make a resolution to continue in your journey towards a baby if that’s what you want. And it will happen.

Can you at least tell a few trusted people? You need support now.

Post # 7
Member
1263 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Ugh, I’m so sorry for your loss.  I went through a miscarriage in May (though I wasn’t very far along), and it’s still quite tough sometimes.

My best advice is to allow yourself to be sad about it.  Don’t beat yourself up for feeling gloomy.  What you are going through (ups and downs) is completely natural!

I was fine for about 6 weeks after my miscarriage, but then out of the blue a friend announced her pregnancy with the same due date I would have had.  I felt so sad for all of the reasons that you wrote above.  Three of my very dearest friends have all given birth since my miscarriage.  I am so happy for them, but also heartbroken for me…I felt so selfish, but I couldn’t even visit one of my friends at first.  It hurt too much.  Life just sucks sometimes and the reasons why things happen sometimes is just not explainable. 

The one thing that has helped me is talking to others about it.  We told our families and I have told my friends.  Everyone has been incredibly supportive and understanding.  When I told a few of my friends, I sent them e-mails.  It was simply much easier to write about than talk about for me.  Don’t think it will be awkward or they won’t understand.  They would want to be there for you to support you.  And, for some reason it just helps to talk about.  Then it doesn’t feel like a sad secret (playing off of your alias name)…just a part of your history and what’s going on in your life.  Come to find out, many women that i know (even more than I knew previously!) have also had miscarriages.  It really helped to hear others’ experiences.

Just know that you are allowed to have bad days, you are allowed to grieve for however long you need to grieve, and then you are allowed to move on.  All at your own pace and in your own way.

HUGS.

Post # 8
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

(((((hugs))))))) I haven’t been through what you’re going through, so I can’t say I know what you’re feeling. Have you thought about talking to your mom or a close girlfriend? Maybe grief counselling? You’ve been through a loss and I can’t imagine how hard it is. More ((((((hugs)))))))))

Post # 9
Member
681 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

aww 🙁 im so sorry you’re going through this. wish i could give you a hug right now…

Post # 10
Member
332 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

So sorry you’re having such a bad day! I also miscarried last year, so I know how awful and miserable it is. I thought that I’d never be able to have a baby, that something was wrong with me. But I’m now 38 weeks pregnant, so obviously I was wrong! Just try to be patient and hopefully you’ll get to have a baby soon too. The pain of losing my baby has never gone away, and I don’t think it will. It’s normal to have to grief for that loss, especially since yours was so recent.

I also hadn’t told people I was pregnant (excpet family), and I ended up waiting a while until I told my close friends. I just didn’t want to talk about it at first. When I felt comfortable I told them, and it was pretty helpful to have their support. But I’m glad I waited until I was ready and able to talk about it.

Post # 11
Member
1676 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

*HUGS*!  Can you send your husband to go meet up with his friends without you?  He could just say that you’re really sorry not to make it but you’re not feeling well.  It seems like you’re still in the mourning stage, and you shouldn’t have to hang out with other pregnant women right now if you’re not ready yet. 

Post # 12
Member
790 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

So sorry for your loss. I had a D&C in May so I know how difficult it is tobe surrounded by women who are pregnant especially those who don’t respect what a miracle it is. Take care of you. If you don’t want to get together with them then don’t, you don’t have to be friends with everyone just make sure you are ok.

Post # 13
Member
6009 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

Hugs.  I’m so sorry for your loss (and that goes out to the rest of the ladies who have posted about their losses).   I think it’s ok to be sad/upset/angry/etc…  Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to be happy and ok with things all the time.  What you expereinced was very difficult, and it takes a long time to heal from that kind of loss. 

Post # 14
Member
2192 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

((((HUGS))))

Post # 15
Member
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Sorry Hun, I totally know what your going through , I had a miscarriage in November and it was really hard, I would have been due this month and I can’t stop thinking about, it does get easier after a couple months (until the due month apparently) stay strong, it will happen when its meant to 🙂

Post # 16
Member
3587 posts
Sugar bee

I’m sorry for your loss. Please tell your mom or other close family members what happened. I understand waiting to tell, but you need some support from her and other friends/family who you are close to.

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