(Closed) Having a rough time…

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
858 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Maybe you have like Seasonal Affective Disorder. I get so depressed and unhappy with my life right around daylight savings end… And then about March or April I go back to normal. Its really frustrating, and I am sure that those closest to me can tell you its no picnic being around me either.

And if it makes you feel any better, my husband and I fought a lot about getting engaged before it happened. Then I went to another country for 5 weeks, and within two weeks of my return, he proposed. Maybe he just doesn’t realize how bad he really wants you in his life? Especially if you say you don’t really have your own friends? I don’t know, I am just trying to be helpful. I hope you start to feelin’ better!

Post # 4
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I hope you start to feel better. I agree with Farmgirl, SAD definitely gets to me too, making a bad day worse and putting a damper on my attitude. Like she said as well, I fought with Fiance a lot right before it happened. I feel so terrible about it now, and it’s so easy to look back now on my actions while I was waiting and think I was so silly to have such an attitude about it. (We’d dated over 6 years before we got engaged).

I’d take the time out after you move out to focus back on yourself, your health, and work on appreciating all those great qualities you listed about your boyfriend. I was irritated as well, which created small little pesters and fights which obviously don’t help you feel happy about the relationship, so it just cycles. I hope that things take an upswing for you. Try focusing on the positives in your life while working to change the negatives that you have control over. Waiting can be so hard, but try not to let it make you lose sight of the great relationship you have and what you have to look forward to. 

Post # 5
17 posts
  • Wedding: November 2011

I’m sorry you’re having such a rough time right now! I agree with the PP, its time to refocus on yourself, not so much him and the relationship. Its amazing how much more clear life gets once you get yourself to a good place. Hit up the gym, join weight watchers (I’m obsessed), read some good books, update your look, and make time with friends.

That said, the little irritations from the bf… I had that with an ex and ultimately realized that we just werent compatible. And I totallllly get the pet name thing – this particular ex always baby talked me – not sexy. Only you’ll be able to determine if the little things are just manifestations of your unhappiness or real dealbreakers. I also think moving out will help make things a bit more clear for you. Good luck! Everything always works out the way its suposed to as long as you keep a positive attitude. 🙂

Post # 7
1313 posts
Bumble bee

I was right there with you just a couple of months ago

“I dont know if I am just stressed out bc I am not happy with my life in general….I moved in with him six months aog and have no life here, no friends here, and I have gotten fat, and still am not engaged….if that is the issue making me get annoyed….or if our relationship in and of itself has gone sour and just is not meant to be and living together is showing that? I cannot tell and just feel frustrated, angry, sad, lately…”

Can’t tell you how much that sounds like me!! The one night, we decided together to make a candlelit dinner and talk. It turned our relationship around. We had really been in a rut lately and I had no clue what to do to get out of it, but talking helped more than I ever could have imagined.

I told him I felt like I was getting resentful with him because he had no proposed and like you, we had also looked at rings and he once seemed very interested. I told him I wansn’t even happy in the relationship anymore because I felt like I had done something wrong to cause him not to propose. I also told him some other things that were bothering me.

Since then, things have changed so much. He took it to heart and although we aren’t engaged, talking helped to make me feel better about it SO MUCH.

So I guess I just wanted to tell you that I know what you’re going through and that talking to him really might help. Try to schedule a sit down conversation with him and see what he thinks he can put forth to support you.

My SO really stepped up after the talk and understands now that I am prone to being melancholy and he does a lot to help me “snap” out of being in a downer mood.

I also rely too much on my SO for my social life. His friends are my only friends. It’s hard, but I just don’t seem to make friends that easliy.  I hope your move back home opens you up a little bit and you are able to be a little more social! Yes it is sad to leave your SO, but it is probably going to turn into a great thing! Plus, he wil realize how much he misses you 😉

Post # 8
493 posts
Helper bee

I’m right there with you girl….

“just feel annoyed all the time with him…even though is the perfect guy for me in so many ways”

I’ve been in and out of the emotional rollercoaster myself these last few months. I’ve tried to be the old me but it’s hard sometimes. I will say when I am ME we have fun and things are great. Try to be youself. For YOU. It will feel better. Easier said than done I know. I’m trying myself. I set myself a deadline (that he ended up figuring out…eek) so I’m quiet until then. Once Christmas and New years passes and we are not engaged there will be some changes for sure. We’vfe been together 3 1/2 years. So I don’t think I can carry this into another year.

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