- 8 years ago
- Wedding: October 2011
Things were really good for awhile, but I am feeling constantly irritated and at odds with my SO the past few weeks. For awhile he was really into looking at rings, he even went to look at some on his own, and we were looking online a lot. I was pretty sure an engagement would come around this time of year. I even got to the point where I got freaked out by the fact it was actually becoming reality and stressed by the fact I might have to start really planning and kind of backed off and did not bring anything up for awhile and just enjoyed our relationship.
I had a work trip at the end of November which we combined with a vacation and my SO attended with me. I knew he wouldn’t propose then, because we were still talking about going back to this one jewelry store together to look at rings in person. On vacation, I did ask him to go into one shop with me since it was right there to look at stuff. He seemed OK about it but not super into it. Eh.
Anyway, our vacation was OK, but we seemed to be arguing a lot. Yes, I started all of the arguments. Just over stupid stuff….like I cant even explain it, just this constant feeling of being annoyed. I hardly ever feel like making love, either (granted I have gained a lot of weight since we moved in and I think that is part of the reason).
Anyway….so I was not really expecting it on vacation. Our three year anniversary is next week. I know it wont happen then bc I know for a fact the ring hasnt been bought. My grandfather is sick and I might end up going to see him over Xmas, so there goes that. We havent even been able to look at this one jeweler together, so I know it wont happen.
Im moving out at the end of January because I was only here temporarily for my job. He kind of knows I expected something to happen by then. I dont know if it will, or if I even want it to anymore. I just feel annoyed all the time with him…even though is the perfect guy for me in so many ways (the IMPORTANT ways) – smart, kind, generous, loving, affectionate, ambitious, responsible…you name it…I find myself getting irritated nonstop by stupid stuff….like him being messy…or him having annoying friends…..or him calling me some stupid pet name….or him changing the topic of conversation…..
I dont know if I am just stressed out bc I am not happy with my life in general….I moved in with him six months aog and have no life here, no friends here, and I have gotten fat, and still am not engaged….if that is the issue making me get annoyed….or if our relationship in and of itself has gone sour and just is not meant to be and living together is showing that? I cannot tell and just feel frustrated, angry, sad, lately…
Sorry I just needed to vent…I dont know where I am going with this. I just wish I knew what is going on with me and why I feel so irritated and unhappy in my relationship lately, and if it is something serious or just a passing thing…