(Closed) Having a totally logical reason to want marriage at a specific time?

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
909 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I think it’s completely legitimate to want to go by one name, and to prefer to go ahead and use your married name. 

But it’s not good to use anything to force someone else’s timeline. Do you know what is holding your SO up right now? 

Post # 4
1294 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

have you talked to your SO about this?

Maybe do some research into other academics who have changed their names as a Dr.

Post # 8
1059 posts
Bumble bee

It wouldn’t make a difference to me if I were the SO in question. You could also just use your maiden name for publications or hyphenate both your last names and use that once you get married.

Post # 9
3461 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

My husband is a Ph.D.  He had zero problem (and in fact, almost thought it weird otherwise) with me choosing not to change my name because so many of his (PhD) friends didn’t change theirs when they got married because they had already published under their maiden names. 

That said…a PhD usually takes 5-8 years to complete so you’ve got lots of time if you’re applying to programs now.  My understanding is the first year or two are just classes, and then a lot of working on publication.  I also don’t think research projects matter in the grand scheme of things.  So you’re not likely to publish for say the first 3? years plus this year while applying makes 4 years before it’d be a concern.  Also keep in mind you could always pay the money to change the name before the wedding.  I wouldn’t suggest you move up a wedding or pressure someone to propose sooner just for the publication factor, although it might not hurt to let him know that you’ll keep the name of whatever you graduate in…and if he wants you to have his last name, he can then be mindful of that fact!

Post # 13
2065 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

You can always legally change your name after you get married but still use your maiden name for professional reasons – lots of people do that.

Post # 14
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@buzzyplush:  The reason makes sense for you, but I don’t see how it would make a difference for him if he isn’t ready. There are always options out there like adding his last name… so like Jenny Smith Jones or hyphenating like Jenny Smith-Jones, or even keeping your maiden name.

I’d mention it to him, but I doubt this will be much of a factor to speed up the waiting process unless he’s fully ready to get married and he’s only holding off for more superficial reasons (i.e. wants to spend more on ring, wants to spend more on ceremony etc.).

Post # 15
9690 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

My doctor is a woman and she practices under her married name.  However, the diplomas on her wall are in her maiden name.  No hypens. Still, everyone can figure out the situation easily.

It’s a very common occurrence. 

Post # 16
2025 posts
Buzzing bee

Don’t forget about the option to switch your maiden name to you middle name 🙂

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