(Closed) Having a wedding but not legally getting married..

posted 5 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
Member
4313 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Oh boy this is tough.  People are going to eventually find out.  You won’t be able to legally change your name (most likely) and all of the other changes with becoming married just won’t…?  I mean what if something happens to one of you in the next 2 years and then people find out you’re not married? 

I would suck it up, get married, and take out a loan.  A lot of people do it.

Post # 4
Member
551 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I’d think long and hard, it sure makes it easer not having to deal with the joint issues until you are done with loans and school Suze Orman would say wait. Have just a civil union for now and ‘forget’ to turn over the marraige certificate 🙂 hehe.

Post # 5
Member
3885 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think this is really deceptive and your loved ones deserve to know your true marital status. Why not just have a longer engagement?  If you’re destined to spend your lives together, waiting 2 years won’t be the end of the world.

Post # 6
Member
9086 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Personally I’d just wait to get married then. I wouldn’t feel decieved if this happened and I was an attendant to your wedding, but it’s kinda the point to see people joined in some sort of union. Kinda strange for me since I’m having a wedding after I’m already married, but if getting actually married wasn’t possible, we’d wait on the whole thing entirely.

Post # 7
Member
3769 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I would either just wait to actually get married, or actually get married and take out loans. I think that’s pretty deceptive :-/

Post # 8
Member
688 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

If I’ve already paid for the wedding I would just get married…like they said, you can still file seperately. Me and my Fiance are probably going to have to pay for his school also after we are married, but, I’d rather be married than not!

Post # 9
Member
2553 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@fishbone:  They probably dont want to lose any deposits they have paid which can really add up $$$. She said they paid a vast majority of the wedding expenses already.

@Dragonfly22ny:  How big of a loan are we talking?

Post # 10
Member
4313 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@sheepandbear:  That’s what I was thinking.

Couldn’t money from the wedding go towards saving/school?

Post # 14
Member
2063 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I don’t think it matters at all. At all.

Post # 16
Member
3885 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I still think it’s better to lose the deposits or miss out on the financial aid than lie. You’re willingly deceiving everyone who loves you, just so you can have a party. Marriage is full of difficult choices and tough compromises. Don’t make your very first one be the unethical, deceptive choice.

believe me, when I saw the tax bracket our combined incomes put us in, I thought maybe Darling Husband and I should fake it, too. It’s really tempting. But I can’t look my loved ones in the eye and lie to them!

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