(Closed) Having a Wedding with mass, but never attended. PLEASE READ!

posted 8 years ago in Catholic
Post # 3
3771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

It’s just like a normal mass… but with the wedding blessing added in. I can’t remember when exactly it is. But I believe it is right before communion, kind of like when babies get baptised during mass. It gets done right before communion.

Edit: I know there’s more techincal terms than ‘wedding blessing’, something like wedding nuptials.. I just can’t remmeber it off the top of my head.

Post # 5
6995 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

This website really helped me when planning my wedding. Here is the order of the actual mass with the rite of marriage. Usually happens after the Homily but before Communion


ETA: i’d check with yoru priest to make sure the order is the same. I remember sitting down with a nice old lady in the church to go through all our reading/music/order of things

Post # 6
176 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

The Nuptial Mass is virtually a regular mass with the Marriage Rites done in the middle,there is no creed, and also you can do marian devotion, at the end there is a nuptial blessing, and presentation of the couple…

Here was the order we did…

Introductory rites, including the preludes, procession, gathering hymn, greeting, penitential act, and gloria

Liturgy of the Word, there are common readings and psalms to use, you can google them for Catholic weddings

Rite of Marriage including statement of intentions, consent and exchange of vows, blessing and exchange of rings, and prayer of the faithful

Liturgy of the Eucharist with preparation of the altar, presentation of the gifts, eucharistic prayer acclamations, the Lord’s prayer, sign of peace, agnus dei, and communion  

Concluding Rites with Marian devotion, nuptial blessing, final blessing, presentation of the couple, dismissal, we did a closing hymn before the recessional

Hope that helps.  I think since you have been going to mass you will be just fine.  🙂



Post # 7
2203 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Do some googling, get comfortable with the order of events and just follow the priest. When I looked at the mass, I mentally break it down. Two readings + gospel, communion, etc. Don’t get overwhelmed with all the details.

My husband and I are both Catholics, been to mass, been to Catholic weddings and you know what? At our own wedding, we were so caught up in the moment, the priest just led the way.

It’s super easy, don’t stress about it.

Post # 8
11736 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I thought most weddings that take place in the Church are open to the public.  Why don’t you go to one?!

Post # 10
3696 posts
Sugar bee

If you get a copy of the booklet Together For Life (ask your priest or parish secretary for one, they usually give them to engaged couples to help them plan their wedding liturgies) it will walk you through everything. It’s basically the same as a regular Mass:

After the processional there is an opening hymn, etc. You do the same kind of readings: one from the Old Testament, then a Psalm, then a New Testament reading, then the Gospel. After that is the homily (the sermon). After that, you do the wedding vows – and the priest will tell you when it’s time to stand up, come forward, etc. Usually, you and your Fiance will be seated at the front of the church, and the bridal party will be in the front pews. They’ll come forward and stand beside you during the vows. After that, they sit back down, and the priest does Communion. The kiss comes at the very end (not an official part of the liturgy, but most couples do it).

Hope that helps.

Post # 12
211 posts
Helper bee

If you/your Fiance are concerned about “crashing” the wedding before yours, why not go pick up that booklet a previous poster metioned, during the rehearsal of the other wedding.  Basically crash the rehearsal, or if the moment arises explain your situation and ask the bride and groom if they mind if you crash their ceremony. 

Post # 13
3216 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

you’ve still got plenty of time to go to Mass and pay attention before your wedding– I’d recommend going a few times (you can go to weekly mass, Saturday mass, or Sunday mass) and listen to what’s going on.  if you’re getting married in the Catholic church, you should really know what you’re getting into!

Post # 14
3696 posts
Sugar bee

View original reply
@bookworm88:  OP says she is a lifelong Catholic who attends Mass regularly, she’s just never seen a Catholic wedding and is confused about how the Rite of Marriage fits into the rest of Mass.

View original reply
@futureJNS:  Nope, not awkward at all – it’s how it’s done in the Catholic church! It would be more awkward, I think, for most people who are used to Catholic weddings, to interrupt the flow of Mass and have the kiss, etc., when we’re preparing for Communion. You’re probably used to seeing weddings in the movies, on TV, etc. – where they rarely show the full Catholic rite. There will be a Final Blessing at the very end of Mass, and usually right after that the priest introduces you to the assemby as “Mr. & Mrs. JNS” and then you kiss, they clap, etc., right before you head down the aisle for the recessional.

Post # 15
3696 posts
Sugar bee

View original reply
@winterbride1593:  “Crashing the rehearsal” is a good idea … keep in mind, too, that a wedding Mass is still a Mass, i.e. still a public celebration in the Church, and so there’s nothing inherently wrong with attending someone’s wedding Mass (especially if you’re discreet about it). OP, is there maybe a side chapel or a choir loft where you could hide out and watch? If you’re still uneasy about it, asking the couple for permission is a great idea. I would be happy to let another engaged Catholic couple scope out our wedding liturgy for resources and ideas!

Post # 16
1210 posts
Bumble bee

I think if you follow the lead of your priest, he will make sure you do everything according to plan =)

That said, if you wanted to attend a wedding, I wouldn’t think it was a big deal, especially if it was a larger church. I frequently attend Mass on Saturdays at 5pm, and a lot of times, there is a wedding finishing up when I walk in. I just sit quietly in the back until they are done, and I enjoy the fact that I get to witness something so special!

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