(Closed) Having an emotional night

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
767 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I am no longer waiting, but I can promise you that you are not the only one. Somewhere on the boards is a thread about the stages of waiting. It can be really hard balancing the excitement that you’ve found the one for you, and the impatience/frustration/doubt you experience waiting for the proposal. 

Hopefully your guy is starting to think about rings and proposals and won’t wait to the last second. Good luck!

Post # 4
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@jesleigh: I was there too. I used to scoff at girls that were playing the “waiting game,” but now I COMPLETELY understand. I had more than my fair share of “emotional nights” …many of which I chose to share with my now-fiance (bad idea). I know that this advice might not give you much solace, but enjoy each phase of your relationship…even this ridiculously anxious-ridden part, because you never get it back. Dig deep and pull out the really excited part of you and let that reign over the anxious part. It’ll be good practice for the engagement process and wedding. :0)

Post # 6
Member
667 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’ve totally there with you, jesliegh. I’m still waiting after six years together. It’s so frustrating seeing everyone else get their proposals while you’re still waiting. I admit, I’ve actually cried (privately and more than once) because of the frustration and wondering if something were wrong with me that he hasn’t proposed yet. Somedays are better than others, but that’s we are here for you when you need support. I hope you get your proposal soon πŸ™‚

Post # 7
Member
32 posts
Newbee

I completely understand! I’ve been w/ my SO for over 2 1/2 years and since then folks who have been together less time have been dating engaged and even married…with 3 of them in the past month.  It does get emotional and it’s so hard to be supportive of their big day when you don’t know when and if yours is coming.  I try to look at their big day as an educational experience…what did they do get ideas vendor tips from them and put it in my “Secret” file

Post # 8
Member
4693 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

This is the thread @PinkBubbleGum was talking about: Waiting Cycle

It’s completely normal to feel the way you do, and from what I’ve heard everyone who was waiting is still very excited when the mister actually pops the question! πŸ™‚

Post # 10
Member
2523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I understand completely. I have a horrible problem of getting my hopes high whenever special dates, etc. I’m especially trying to not think about a proposal, especially because my boyfriend is taking me on a cruise tomorrow! I want him to propose really bad, but he said it’s not in the budget, so who knows when it will be.

Some days I feel like I’ve “accepted” that it will be a while, other days I feel angry, or sad, or discouraged. It’s not fun waiting, but I’m sure it will be worth it in the end. Good luck to you! Keep your head up. πŸ™‚

Post # 11
Member
81 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Oh my gosh, I feel your pain.  I’ve just (read: last night) moved out of waiting-limbo after four years of dating and months of waiting with baited breath.  I can tell you with utmost confidence that my man waited as long as he did because (as cliched as it sounds) he truly wanted everything to be perfect.  I don’t know if money is a concern at all for you, but it was important to Mr. BrassBand to wait until the ring was all paid for and everything was set–which I can fully appreciate.  If you’ve picked a keeper (and if you’re willing to wait for him, I’m sure you have!) I bet that he wants to wait for that “perfect moment”.

As for your feelings, as the OPs have said, they are totally normal and understandable.  When I would get really down about Mr. BrassBand having not proposed yet, I would generally allow myself to be aggravated for a little bit, and then try to focus on the fact that an engagement is just a symbol.  Just because he hadn’t proposed yet didn’t mean he didn’t love/value/respect me just as much as an engaged guy did; he was just taking his sweet time.  I know that when you’re ready to be engaged this is WAY easier said than done, but keeping a positive mentality and reassuring myself of his love really did help.  Also, I worked on getting myself excited about other things–holidays, fun things I was going to do with my girlfriends, even going to a new movie.  Directing my focus towards something else obviously wasn’t a long-term fix, but it DID help.

Good luck to you; keep us posted!  It IS coming.  Laughing

Post # 13
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

im not waiting but i can understand your eagerness for wanting to start the next phase of your life together – remind yourself than he and you are on the same page as far as taking the next step and it will happen. goodluck!

Post # 14
Member
2523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@jesleigh:It especially doesn’t seem fair when on Facebook or texts or phone calls that people tell you they’re engaged! It’s like someone has punched me in the face when I see that, because it hurts me emotionally. πŸ™ I just don’t want to be disappointed my whole trip if it doesn’t happen, because I have a bad habit of letting things ruin a good time! I’m getting better though, with counseling.

But I do think it’s good that he’s given you a general idea of when it will be! I hope it comes sooner for you though! You seem like a very nice person with a lot of heart & love. Keep us updated! πŸ™‚

Post # 16
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I prefer to wait until we’re married to move in together

i was the same so dont settle for less πŸ™‚

 

 

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