(Closed) Having both families “equally involved” in the actual ceremony

posted 6 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
566 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

We had three sides to include so had each read a part of a Marriage Blessing that spoke to their hopes and wishes for our wedding. I’ll pm you the link.

There are also some ceremony rituals you could find that would incorporate both sides of the family.




Post # 4
1576 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I feel a little the same way as your Fiance. I am not catholic, but have agreed to do a catholic ceremony. So already I feel a bit out of place in my own ceremony. My Fiance wants his parents to do some music at the ceremony. His father will play guitar and his mother will sing. Still ok with this. Actually – pretty excited about it.

Then he mentioned he wanted one of his cousins to do one of the readings. That’s where I got touchy. He gets all these things and my family gets one measly reading???? Lol.

Just remember it’s really important to compromise. Most grooms let brides have full decision making powers over all sorts of things like colors and clothing and flowers and time of year and food etc etc. Usually because they feel like all that matters at the end of the day is that you guys get married. That’s the important part. So start off by asking him what’s going to make the ceremony important and meaningful to him. 

Maybe his pastor can also give a blessing or do a reading. Or co-officiate I think it’s called? Maybe his family has some musical talent? Maybe his family can do all the readings if that’s what it takes? Whatever it takes to make him feel like it’s his ceremony too. He should be able to find something that makes him feel included besides asking to use his pastor. Having your dad officiate is clearly very important to you.

Post # 5
196 posts
Blushing bee

I think you need to work out the balance.  If your dad officiating is important, you should do it.  In our wedding, my fiance’s mother is running the ceremony.  (We are in a state that doesn’t require an officiant, so she’s not officiating, but she’s giving the opening greeting and announcing everything.)  My father is doing a reading.  My mother is playing a song.  The best man and matron of honor are signing the license, and the matron of honor is collecting something from everyone for our unity ceremony.  All five of them are standing up there with us, and all of them have a role.

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