Post # 1
(This will probably end in drama, but I have an honest question)
When you consider TTC, does your income play a factor in it?
I get really upset when I see people actively TTC when they can’t even afford a pregnancy test to find out if they’re pregnant. Or that they already have multiple children they cannot afford, but are TTC more kids.
To each their own, but it makes me stressed out for their family. I know I should not care about what others do, but coming from a family that went through some severe financial troubles, I simply cannot imagine bringing a child into that environment. I guess I’m over sensitive to something like that, having been through it as a child.
So when we decided to have kids, we made sure that financially, we had a lot of room for adding an extra person to the mix.
What about you guys? Is it that big of a deal to have finances in place before having kids? Why or why not?
Post # 3
To some extent you need to be prepared (like not being on Welfare and being able to pay your current bills). You don’t need tens of thousands in the bank though.
I get really upset when I see people with HUGE families on welfare. I would never bring a new baby into that kind of financial struggle.
Post # 4
@urchin: that is #1 for us. Darling Husband and I are a little obsessed when it comes to finances. We need to pay off our credit card every month, we need to put an X amount away in savings every pay. Ideally, we want aobut 8 months pay in our savings. We are slowly getting there.
Money isn’t the main reason why we’re not TTC (although it’s a huge part). But I just think in order to make the choice to be a parent you also need to make the choice of being a responsible parent
Post # 5
To each their own, but I think each family has to make the decision that’s best for them at the time, and financial readiness is only a part of that decision. Personally, we were comfortable, and could afford to have children, but we also could have prepared MORE financially before TTC. We could have paid off our car loans/mortgage or put more into savings, but having a child fit best at this point in our lives, so we took the plunge. And it turned out to be the right decision for us. 🙂
Post # 6
@Mrs. Spring: I totally get what you’re saying. I don’t think one has to be in perfect financial shape, but your finances shouldnt be a disaster either I guess.
Post # 7
@urchin: It’s always a balance; it’s just about finding the best situation for YOUR family. 🙂
Post # 8
Well, I don’t have kids yet, but my income is quite decent and I’m confident in a couple years when we decide to TTC that we’ll have no trouble. Yes, I think this is a very important thing to consider. I don’t know if anyone else here watches Suze Orman but she’ll straight up tell you why would want to bring a child into the world when you can’t support them?
I have 2 sets of friends I will reference here:
1) Have been married for 4 years, really want kids, but they don’t have the most stable income. They wanted to start TTC last year but put it off when one of them got laid off. Even though she has found a new good job, she wants to regain some semblance of comfort before they start to try again. Smart move. Darling Husband points out that, well, what if they never get to that level of comfort? Are they just never allowed to have kids? I think no, but they need to be realistic about the sacrifices they’ll have to make.
2) My friends’ husband works an overnight shift, she can’t afford to work. She has 1 autistic daughter, 1 daughter that isn’t speaking very well even at 4.5 years old, a 2 year old son that isn’t speaking at all, and they just brought a 4th boy into the world in April. I was actually LIVID when I found out she was pregnant this last time. My family has been close to her for many years, and she has no relatives close by. I don’t want to be all judgy, but how irresponsible is it to have another child when you clearly can’t well provide for the other 3?
In short, yes, I think you need to make sure you can really provide for your child/additional children before you have them. Otherwise, what kind of life can you expect for them? What’s the point in that case?
Post # 9
You are right about to each his own but I agree with you on the fact that children are expensive but sometimes when we are young we dont see that.
When I had my first daughter, I was sixteen. I was excited and scared but never thought about the money. When I had my second, I was 24 and was a bit worried about the money and not to mention I was with a man who could not keep a job.
But now at 35, I am married to a wonderful man who is financially secure (we both are) but I am more scared now that we can afford it. Crazy ha? I guess now I see that its not just about buying cribs and bottles but I see college tuition and much much more.
We are going to start TTC in a few months and although we both have good jobs, I worry. I think its normal but I think things work out for the best. Shoot, if I was able to take care of my two kids and myself as a single mom, why not have a baby now that I am in a finacially stable and secure relationship.
Post # 10
@Mrs.Jansen: I guess now I see that its not just about buying cribs and bottles but I see college tuition and much much more.
This is what I think about too. I want to be able to put my child through school (by starting an education fund), put her in activities, etc. I never had that, and I feel it’s important for me to offer those chances to my kiddo!
Post # 11
@urchin: I was really young when I had her so I never thought about college for her, putting money aside. Shoot I didnt have the money to put aside at times. It was either eat or save money. Now that she is going to be starting college, I think back as to why I didnt plan for this the day I found out I was having her.
We have a college fund for my youngest, she is 11 so I have more time but when I do conceive, a fund will be started as soon as possible.
Post # 12
We saved up a bunch of money as a sort of nest egg, but that got blown due to fertility treatments, so I guess it’s a wash? We can afford to a) own a home b) pay all of our bills on time and c) put away savings every month, so I think we’re being financially responsibile… granted, it doesn’t make me less scared about affording these two.
Post # 13
Our financial situation definitely plays a factor for us.
If we were to accidently get pregnant today, we would be more than fine financially to support a child. But we aren’t planning to TTC for another couple of years because we aren’t where we WANT to be financially with kids.
We want to be able to live in a certain manner on just DH’s income so that I can be a Stay-At-Home Mom to our kids. At this point, I’d have to go back to work which isn’t what either of us want.
Post # 14
We are waiting for that very same reason, we cannot afford a child financially right now, so until we have enough in our savings for child care we are waiting a year to even try, and we’re both in our mid-30’s so the clock is ticking, but I would hate to bring a child into this world when I could not provide for it…..so instead we got a dog….I know…I know dogs and children are not the same thing….but for right now he’s our baby…okay mostly mine….
Post # 15
I think it’s a balance. We’re ttc and both make a decent amount of money and have stable jobs and no consumer debt. We don’t have a ton in savings because we’ve been paying out mortgage down like crazy (although I suppose that’s equity we could access if needed) and if we waited 4 more years to have a baby we’d have it completely paid off which would obviously be a better financial position, but there’ll always be a better time. But yeah of you cant afford to feed a kid even, it’s probably not the right time.
Post # 16
I already have three kids and had my tubes tied.
I’ve put off having the tubal reversed for the last five years because we didn’t think we were ready financially. Now it’s almost too late and I wish I’d never spent all that money on my dress and made the baby a priority sooner.