(Closed) Having Kids vs. Not Having Kids

posted 4 years ago in Family
Post # 3
4528 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I do, but will likely adopt a child for medical reasons. I have always wanted to raise a child. I love children. Not being able to have my own possibly greatly saddened me and I’m so thrilled to have found someone who is open to adoption

Post # 4
1193 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

Stupid people *do* have children, but so do intelligent ones.  For me, I never actually intended to have children.  My oldest daughter was an “oops” that fortunately worked out beautifully for us.  I suppose I could have terminated, but I didn’t.  Something just clicked for me, like it was meant to happen at the time it was happening.  I just couldn’t turn that off.

I realize the world is overpopulated, you aren’t incorrect there, but unfortunately, many of us have a deep and powerful biological urge to reproduce.  For me, I also have loved teaching these little creatures about life and love, passing on my snippets of wisdom, watching them grow and discover.. it’s just been an amazing thing that’s happened for me.  

It’s scary to think about the world I”ll be leaving them though, and it’s something I’ve struggled with and used as a catalyst to make a lot of changes in my own life.  Not to mention, having children made me a better person in general, more capable, more motviated, more generous and kind… I don’t know, this probably all sounds ludicrous.

Post # 5
1471 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@maloussii:  I have a son, but have the same fears you. I worry every day about the kind of world he’s coming into, especially with increasing natural disasters, etc. But ultimately, having children was so, so important to me and I love him with every bit of my being.

I said to DH one day “I’m worried about bringing DS into a world that can be so harsh,” and DH said “Maybe he’ll be one of the ones to do good.” And I can only hope that we’ll figure this ish out before it’s too late…

Post # 6
7771 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I think it is natural to want to have children and experience the experience of having children.  I think humans are eternal optimists.  I also think it is somewhat biological.  I am sure people have many different reasons, some good, some maybe not so good- but I think that is at the heart of the best intentions behind it.  I think some people want and can make the world a better place by raising children with values.  No family is perfect, but I think raising good kids is hard work, and there is something to be said for it.  I think sharing love can go a long way.  I went back and forth for years on the subject, and I think thinking it out is a very good thing.

Post # 7
8141 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

i come from a very small family and i would like a few children.

i love being part of other people’s larger families and can’t wait to have one of my own.

Post # 9
3830 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

FI and I are very intelligent, healthy, hard-working, level-minded human beings. Our decision to have children is to produce people to replace us.

We can’t have all of the senseless, lazy, unintelligent people out here reproducing and taking up space.

Post # 10
527 posts
Busy bee

@maloussii:  I do not want kids because I want to spend my money on me, not on kids.  🙂

Post # 11
4442 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

@cbee:  So people that don’t want children are unnatural by your argument?

Post # 13
7119 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

I agree with your reasoning and typically get flamed by family and friends so I just don’t bring it up anymore. However, I do still want children so we are planning on adopting as opposed to bringing more children into the world.

Post # 14
1592 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Do you have sources for this information? The tone of your comment implies most people know this. Sue me but I did’t. Why are scientists having children then? What if 2050 comes and the world is fine? Should those of us who want a family just be like, oh well! 

What if my child becomes the scientist who will solve the problem? What if they cure cancer?

Post # 16
4525 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Even as a former coach, I just plain do not care for children. Period. It doesnt matter who they belong to or how wonderful they are, I just do not want any. I went to a tiny, evangelical college that *actively* encouraged finding your spouse there and locking down a ring your senior year. I’d say the little rhyme that they use at freshman orientation but it will be a dead-giveaway if any other Bees went there. The gist of it is “your mate God planned for you is probably here right now in this very room. Find him/her and lock it down.” I *wish* I was kidding.

Anyways, like a good little girl, I mimicked what others there were doing: wanting to have babies and be a wife with a “kind and gentle spirit.” I never meant it, but I just talked the talked.

Pretty much the second I moved out of state after college (WAY out of state) and started living and working on my own, I became very resolute that kids were not for me…and there’s nothing wrong with that.

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