Post # 1
It’s coming down to that. 🙁
I talked to one of my best friends from Out of Town last night and the only reason she can’t make it in (she was my honorary MOH) is because of finances. Now FH told me he would pay anything to get her to our wedding, which is sweet. We DO have some money left over in the budget but getting her here would take up pretty much all of it. We are not getting a honeymoon or much money from his family at all, so we basically have to pick. I want her there but she basically forbade me to pay for her ticket since we won’t have a honeymoon (even in the remote future) if we pay for her to come to our wedding.
I’m still looking for tickets or a way to get here up here but it doesn’t look good. I don’t know whether to accept the fact we may not be able to help her out or accept the fact we’re using up all our money that was supposed to go towards our honeymoon.
Post # 3
This is a hard one. I think the major issue is that she does not want to accept your money/charity. I understand that you doing want her there but she will feel guilty because she will know that she is the reason that you are not having a honeymoon.
I think that you should discuss it with her further.
Post # 4
I think it’s incredibly sweet of him and I’m very sorry about your friend 🙁
If it were me, I’d make up a special box of wedding mementos with lots of pics for her and mail it after the wedding and I’d go on the honeymoon. I’ve got several friends who won’t be able to make my wedding so I’m planning to take non-perishable favors and items from the Out of Town bags along with photos to include them even though they won’t be there. I’d hate not having a friend, but a honeymoon is really special too.
Post # 5
@accorn: I agree… this is really tough. I think that, as much as she would love to be there, she would probably have a hard time accepting your generosity, knowing that you guys would have to sacrifice the honeymoon. If I were your friend, I would love you for offering but I would not want you to do it.
Post # 6
This is really tough.
Would it be an option for you guys to buy her tickets so that she can be at the wedding, but then still take the time off work and have a “staycation” honeymoon? I know that’s not as going somewhere for your honeymoon, but if having her there is really important to you and your Fiance, that might be a compromise to consider.
If it turns out that she won’t be there, I really like @Cappugcino:‘s idea of sending her favors and pictures.
Post # 7
I think for your situation , you guys NEED a honeymoon lol. It can be a really important bonding time, and really can set the tone for the marriage.
Like the other ladies said, it is a very tough situation! Our friends are so special to us and we want the best. I had some friends who couldn’t make it and we have videos, albums and such for them so it was just like they were there with us.
Ultimately, its up to you and the future hubby!
Post # 8
Does she live near somewhere you would like to honeymoon? Maybe you could fly to her for your honeymoon and go out to dinner, show her pictures from the wedding, etc. I think if it was me, I would pick the honeymoon and hope somehow she figures it out. Also, I wonder if it’s just the cost of the flight for her or the whole wedding process (dress, lodging, etc.). Maybe if she paid the ticket and she could stay with you and wear something she already had it wouldn’t be so expensive.
Post # 9
Thanks, ladies 🙂 and no, we’re not doing any wedding-party-ish things so there’s no dress, stay etc, we had already planned she’d be living with me and I’d even get her from the airport. It’s just because we’re poor lol :/
I think we are going to keep the money but it hurts so much knowing she can’t be there. It’s really a hard choice. I know I’ll see her again hopefully within a year or two but know we’re only going to have one chance to honeymoon probably before we have kids.
Post # 10
If I were your best friend I would feel aweful if you didn’t get a honeymoon because of me. No, for me, it would be most important that you got all the wedding moments every bride should get. If you can find a way to skype her in, then great, but you should take that money and do something, even if it is just a day or two.
Post # 11
I know it means the world to have her there but you guys need a honeymoon. I would find someone to set up a live web cam, and she could watch your wedding! I know it’s not the same but it is inexpensive, and she can still feel apart of it.
Post # 12
That is really sweet that her friendship means so much to you but I do think the honeymoon is the best choice. It will be hard not being there but your honeymoon is something that you will remember forever, something to tell the grandkids about, the saddness of not having your friend there probably won’t carry with you through your lifetime. But hoping your friend finds a way to make it!
Post # 13
This is a tough call! Personally I would do the honeymoon, I think it’s important to have that after you get married.
Do you think maybe you might recoup some of the costs in gifts? That way you can do both?
Post # 14
Well, Fiance and I won’t have any honeymoon since we’re just poor, so as a bride if I had the option I’d want my friend there over any honeymoon.
However, if it were my friend’s wedding, I would not want to accept money that would prevent her from taking a honeymoon, I would feel awful and would force them to just take their honeymoon and see me later.
So in the end, no one can make this decision for you, it’s a tough choice. It sounds like you have a great friend who loves you either way 🙂
Post # 15
That’s just it though. We can’t afford a honeymoon either. 🙁 So if she didn’t come we’d be a few hundred the richer for a potential honeymoon in the future.