Having out of town family stay over after baby is born?

posted 1 year ago in Pregnancy
Post # 46
Member
9214 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

My mom’s version of “helpful” was actually anti-helpful and created even more work/stress for us. ILs were somewhat helpful, but also caused us some stress being around all the time, so it was basically a wash. If we ever have a second, I’m gonna say hard no to any and all visitors for like the first 3 months. Or 6 months. Or year.

Post # 49
Member
7813 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

candy08 :  “My mom told me the other night though she thinks if the baby comes on time around Nov 28th I should be fine to host the holidays and cook by the 25th.”

Uhh, red flag!! I’m due 11/16 and my parents will be here for Thanksgiving and Christmas most likely, but I know they will handle all the cooking and cleaning…if I was expected to host or entertain in any way it would be a hard no!

Post # 50
Member
1080 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

candy08 :  definitely cant stress about the unknown! You could have an easy wondeful labor and recovery,  or not, but overthinking just leads to anxiety.  That is why flexibility on the part of eager visitors is soooo important. This might have been the first time my mom and i yelled at each other, and it was a whopping one sentence from each of us, haha. She has been wonderful with boundaries ever since. I laughed when your mom said she thinks you should be ableto cook by then. Cook a regular dinner in ? Yes, probably. Cook a major holiday meal? While jumping between maybe breastfeeding or pumping?  You could do it all, I’m sure you are capable, but you shouldn’t be pressured into that situation. Unless they are ok with premade meals that you just warm and serve..?

Post # 51
Member
9811 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

candy08 :  I had a Nov 28 baby lol.  I would not have hosted anything!  My second had colic so I spent most of my time with him sleeping on me or nursing him or trying to get him to sleep in his rock and play.  I helped my mom by making some dough, cutting out some gingerbread houses to bake (for my oldest to decorate) and that took a lot of dedication and I could barely do that let alone a full dinner.  Some babies are easy (my first was pretty easy by then) but you never know.

Post # 55
Member
12127 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

candy08 :  I really didn’t mind a hospital visit after the baby was born. It was with the understanding that it would be limited to grandparents and siblings, ie no children, limited in time, according to our convenience, and no one would expect to be staying at our house. In one sense that was easier than having everyone come by when we first got home and were trying to establish a routine. 

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