Post # 1
I’ve always wanted a traditional wedding with the white dress and the first dance and yadda yadda yadda, so when Fiance proposed I dived right into wedding planning without even thinking about it. Now, two months away from our wedding day, I’m starting to have panic attacks about being the center of attention.
Calling myself shy doesn’t even begin to cut it. I have had panic attacks and/or crying fits at the thought of having to stand in front of people in high school and college (at my college graduation my Fiance literally had to pry me off of him I was so terrified of walking across the stage by myself).
Now I am so panicked that I’ve put all this time, money, and effort into planning a beautiful wedding and I won’t be able to enjoy it because I’ll be dreading walking down the aisle, dancing, etc and having everyone look at me.
Has anyone else gone through this? Am I the only painfully shy bride-to-be out there? What did you do to deal with the shyness?
Post # 3
Something that I totally underestimated on my wedding day was the power of adrenaline. I thought I’d sob my way down the aisle and through my vows. I thought I’d be a nervous wreck during my first dance. But adrenaline kicked in, and I beamed my way through it all.
Don’t forget that the fun of the wedding day is that you’re rarely alone! Is your dad or someone else walking you down the aisle? Hang onto him for support! Your husband will be standing with you during the ceremony, and you can clutch onto him during your first dance. You’ll also have your maid of honor and bridesmaids by your side all day!
The difference between your wedding and say, graduation, is that everyone at your wedding knows you and loves you and wants only the best for you! Less of a reason to be nervous around them! 🙂
Post # 4
I know exactly how you feel I am having guests of 350-450 so my Fiance decided to walk down the isle together to help me get over my fear. I will keep my eyes focused on my Fiance and I told him to not leave my side under no circumstance.
Post # 5
@mvg120: I feel ya, sister. I havent had a “groups of people” induced panic attack in a long time, and I’m scared the big day will trigger one.
@Gemstone: Your post made me feel ALOT better 🙂
Post # 6
Ok, keep in mind that you’re not really the center of attention after the ceremony. Having been to numerous weddings, once the reception starts, people care about drinks, food and partying. Not to say they don’t care about you, but you’re no longer the focus. So you just have to get through 15-20 minutes, and you’re good to go!
Post # 7
((Hugs)) Try not to think about the anxiety part of it. You’re going to get your head stuck in that mindset and will make it even worse. Focus on the part of planning that you like. Also, it seems like a weird thing to say, but so many moments of a wedding can be so intimate despite having all of those other people there. When you walk up the aisle, you’ll be so caught up in looking at your Fiance at the altar and communicating with looks. It’s a beautiful moment and will take such hold of you that you’ll be breathless (in a good way!). During the ceremony, you’ll be holding his hands and looking into his eyes, and you’ll be so enveloped with emotion that everyone else will melt away, except hopefully the officiant, haha. Same thing with the first dance. It will be your first dance as a married couple! Enjoy it, and let that soak in.
Are you currently in therapy for anxiety? Some counseling issues may help before the big day to give you some tools to be able to cope better.
Post # 8
@Gemstone: I hope you’re right. My dad will be walking me down the aisle, but I’m not particularly close to him, so I’m not expecting him to be too much of a comfort.
@MariContrary: That’s a good point, I hadn’t really thought of that before.
@HisMoon: I’m not in counseling or anything because, besides the wedding, I don’t usually have an occasion to be the center of attention (something I’m perfectly fine with!)
Post # 9
@mvg120: I get horrible panic attacks and was terrified I’d have one on my wedding day. Then I got myself all worked up because I didn’t want to be the bride that has to take a Xanax to make it down the aisle. I am pretty shy and have horrid social anxiety issues.
All that said, I was fine, more than fine on my wedding day. I walked down the aisle without being a snotty, ugly crying mess- Thanks in part to a story about my dad and a fart-so totally NOT what I thought one should think about walking down the aisle. But hey, it worked! I only once faltered during our vows. We had almost 150 guests at our wedding which terrified me at first. But it was a blessing. There are so many people around that I didn’t have time to get anxious about making actual conversation with any body. The adrenaline was flowing and I was just focused on trying to take in each moment.
You will be just fine. I hope I don’t sound condescending or trying to make light of your issue. From one anxious, social phobic to another, your wedding will be fantastic!
Post # 10
@mvg120: I am exactly the same way. My Fiance and I are staying the night together the night before and we are doing our first look and the rest of our pictures prior to the ceremony. I am hoping that being able to see him and talk to him beforehand will calm my nerves. I will either be crying uncontrollably or laughing uncontrollably.
Good luck! I am sure your wedding will be perfect!
Post # 11
Yes. Me too. It’s not exactly the same as yours, but it has the same effect. Strangers? I’m totally fine. I’m great at public speaking at school, debating, customer service..you name it.
When it comes to people I know..I have terrible social anxiety disorder. I have trouble answering the phone, returning phone calls, sometimes even texts, emails and facebook messages get me all freaked and I can’t even read them. I’m not this way with my immediate family or very best friends, just everyone else. It’s so weird. No one gets it, but it’s very real. My hands shake, my heart races, and I have trouble making eye contact.
Only suggestion I have is to have someone by you at all times that you love and trust that have your back if something gets to be too much for you. You can even have more than one person walk you down the aisle if you want. Whatever works for you.