(Closed) Having problems with getting married in a church and first look!!! HELP!

posted 6 years ago in Photos/Videos
Post # 3
Member
543 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

hello. well im not a catholic bee, my so is a lapsed catholic, and we werent allowed to marry there, but only because i had a prior lapse of judgement marriage that quickly was followed by divorce. but because the divorce was not annulled by the diocese, which is a year long process, we could not marry there. but thats the only thing that kept me, a baptist, from marrying in catholic church. the priest told us that other than pre cana classes, the only other thing i would have had to do is make an oath to raise my children catholic. that wasnt gonna happen so that was a big reason i didnt proceed with the annulment, i couldnt lie to god and make that oath. if i were you id do the church wedding, cathedrals are just so beautiful and majestic…..

Post # 4
Member
2587 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - UK

You’d both have to do classes to get married in a Catholic church, not just your FH. You’d have about 6 months of sessions with a priest to counsel you on marriage and so on.

My FH has said he doesn’t want a First Look, but I don’t think they’re really a thing over here anyway. I’d think the church would give a nice variety of different locations for your pictures though!

Post # 5
Member
2281 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

We got married at our venue (cocktail party wedding, with ceremony about an hour in). And we just went out with our attendants and did pictures for almost an hour before going to the venue. After the ceremony and first dance, our two families went outside and did a few family photos. The rest of our pictures were candids. It was perfect for us – exactly what we wanted. 

It depends on what’s important to you, but if just having a moment where he sees you for the first time is what matters and it doesn’t have to be coming down an aisle, then a first look and 45 minutes of posed picture time should be enough. It’s okay to steal away with the photographer after the ceremony and do a few more – people will understand. 

Post # 7
Member
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Your best option for determining how to handle pictures is to talk to your photographer. They can show you past time lines similar to yours that did or did not have a first look.

Even if you were both fully practicing Catholics, there would still be meetings and classes that you’d both have to take together. Only one half of the couple needs to be a practicing Catholic, though, so there’s a good chance that you’ll only need to do the marriage preparation classes and meetings. But only your parish priest can tell you the requirements for sure.

Post # 8
Member
543 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@FutureMrs.browneyes:  I don’t think they’ll make ya’ll make that oath, as you are both already Catholic. They only make non-catholics make that oath before marrying. Also Pre Cana classes vary in length, the one we would’ve taken on base was 3 months long, while 1 we found out in town was 6 weeks. We even found online courses. It depends on the parish, i think.

Post # 9
Member
2874 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@chronicwhimsy:  its not 6 months normally!

im doing pre-cana this weekend,on  saturday 4-8.30, sunday 8.30-4.30. the absolute longest ive heard of someone having to do it was 4 consecutive weekends

Post # 10
Member
2587 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - UK

@newname_99:  Ah, it might be just because the meetings are over a period of time in my local church, so it might only be a few meetings, but spread out!

Post # 11
Member
2874 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@chronicwhimsy:  oh makes sense! i think id prefer it that way in all honesty. i think this weekend will be quite intense!!

 

@FutureMrs.browneyes:  im pretty indecisive. i agonize over decisions and feel way better when ive made them haha. so first looks (since i didnt mention that in my last post)… 45 mins doesnt sound like a lot of time but will get a fair few pictures with that. or, if you can only have 45 mins at the venue…is there a possibility of doing a first look somewhere else?

Post # 12
Member
426 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@FutureMrs.browneyes:  You should be fine, I’m also a practicing Catholic and my fiance is only baptized.  As long as he’s baptized Catholic, you don’t need to get approval from the Bishop.

You’ll have to do the pre-cana preparation.  Here, we have to do the FOCUS inventory, weekend retreat, and a natural family planning course.  Contact your priest and set up a meeting, they can get you the info you need.

Post # 14
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I am having a similar problem….My Catholic Church will not marry us (I am a practicing Catholic) because we are living together.  I would suggest researching that before you have your heart set on a specific Catholic Church.  It has been an exahausting first few weeks for me because I still cannot find a church to marry in (unless I want to pay over $1,000  for non-member fees).

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