(Closed) Having second thoughts about “eloping”

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Would having your parents and in-laws really make it less “chill”? Unless they’re crazy, it sounds nice. A nice, small family event.

Post # 4
4385 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I think having your parents and your FI’s parents there would be really nice. I don’t think it would really alter your day very much. A small, intimate wedding sounds fabulous! If you’re having second thoughts I would just go for it, it sounds like you will regret it if you don’t.

Post # 5
1872 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I acquiesed to having our parents there. I’m totally not comfortable with it because it changed the tone of the event somewhat–I don’t like being the center of attention (at all!) and now I will be, Plus it weirds me out to have to read my vows publicly (I probably actually won’t read them completely–they’re too personal. I’ll give a bit and then hand him the rest written down).  BUT I think it was the right thing to do. And I think that honestly, I’ll be happy with them there.



Post # 6
2004 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

If you make the decision to invite both your parents, do it for yourself and your fiance because you want them there, not because you called to double-check and they talked you into letting them come. You said that you thought if you were a mother you would want to see your child’s wedding, and that’s probably true; they do want to see you get married. The question is, do you want them to get to see you get married, or do you have larger needs (like the need for it to be totally intimate and chill) that would trump that?

Personally I think the event would definitely qualify as “intimate” if your parents were in attendance—an audience of 4 does not a giant bash make. As for chill, are your parents chill people? If you enjoy their company, you may in the long run be happy you had them there—and they will probably be happy too. Just make sure you’re making the decision for yourselves and it’ll turn out happy.

Post # 7
277 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Originally we were going to elope but after thinking about it we felt that although my husbands parents would be fine with whatever we did we knew they would want to be there.  His parents, brother and my best friend and her husband all wound up flying to Hawaii and I think it made it even better having them there.  It was still intimate and all about us but his mom was so happy and his dad who isn’t really the emotional type seemed to be the most excited and happiest.  They were beeming…I’d ask your fiance what he thinks then go from there.

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