Having sex with neighbors.

posted 2 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 31
1295 posts
Bumble bee

As long as it is between 7am-10pm then you can have sex as much as you and and as loudly as you want (within reason). it’s part of normal living  like kids screaming and watching tv. 

paper thin walls suck and hearing neighbours having sex sucks. but if it is within reasonable hours/reasonable volume after hours we just have to love with it. the downside of apartment living.

Post # 32
1583 posts
Bumble bee

I would try to muffle acoustics on your end first just for your own sake.  Is your room carpeted? If not,  lay down a rug to muffle sound a bit.  You could also try acoustic foam squares to absorb some of the sound you may make. It’s not ideal but it’s something you could try to keep the peace, pun intended.

Post # 33
85 posts
Worker bee

Your neighbors suck!  It’s your home!  You’re nice enough to keep it quiet and be mindful of the times and they bang on the wall.  I wouldn’t be happy at all.  I’d probably wake up earlier and do it even louder out of spite.  I realize that’s not the most mature response but how dare they bang on your wall.

Post # 34
745 posts
Busy bee

Ok, I admit it, when I read the title I thought this was going to be about someone hosting a adult party. lol

husband and I rented for years, You will hear things sometimes and people will hear you sometimes no matter how considerate anyone tries to be. Myself, I worried about people hearing personal arguments rather than anything romantic. Most neighbors would rather hear the later too I think.

Post # 35
1129 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

Oh. I thought this thread was gonna be about something else. Bye 



Post # 36
47 posts

banging on the wall is so obnoxious! Especially if what you say is true and you’re not exactly screaming and making a deliberate racket.

Someone in the flat above me does aerobics, thumping about pretty much every hour on the hour, up until 2am some mornings. It frustrates the hell out of me but i’d still never bang on the roof! Theres also someone who occasionally slams a door so hard that the entire building shakes! I also lived somewhere below where I could hear the man downstairs on his phone as well as the person on the other end speaking.

I don’t really have any suggestions but your neighbours are turds.

Post # 37
1749 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I’d agree with the bee who suggest putting up acoustic tiles.  That’s what my sister boyfriend did for his apartment and it looks really cool in addition to making his apartment quieter. I actually thought it was artwork at first. 



IDK if this would work,  but it looks so cool

Post # 39
251 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

mingogo4 :  Do you have a carpet in your room underneath the bed?  Me and Darling Husband went through this and a throw rug under the bed really helped a lot for a noisy bed. Also consider turning on a fan and point it towards the neighbors wall.. I am so sorry this happened to you!!! 

Post # 41
240 posts
Helper bee

Wondering if your room is next to their son’s room.  This sounds like something he would. If not maybe your neighbors don’t have sex anymore and are just annoyed!  But that’s not your problem. I agree with a pp, put a pillow between the bed and the wall and try a carpet under the bed.  That should work for the most part.

Post # 42
2800 posts
Sugar bee

I agree with PP’s you’re being as considerate as you can be – it’s part of apartment life. Try not to be crazy noisy and avoid doing it at 4am and you’re fine. If you’re in a noisier mood maybe start having more living room sex? 

Fun story about apartment living –  The other night i woke up in the middle of the night to what I thought was a girl being attacked and like paced around my apartment like a maniac trying to figure out where it was coming from and decide if I should phone the police. Only to realize after like 10 mins of straining to hear it, that I was really straining to listen in on my neighbours’ sex. 

Post # 43
751 posts
Busy bee

Your neighbours are so rude!!

I’m with your husband, you carry on having sex as much as you want!!

(Although I appreciate that’s it’s not exactly sexy to be constantly waiting for your neighbours to bang on the wall. I would probably go down the asking your landlord for advice route. Gets your side of the story across first, but also he might help find some of the acoustic tiles/carpets etc)

Post # 44
1056 posts
Bumble bee

mingogo4 : Ugh, we had this problem! My advice is move your bed to another room. It’ll be smaller, but it’s worth the peace of mind and being able to have sex in peace.

We live in an apartment. The master bedrooms in both units share one wall (who designs this stuff!?).

Some neighbours are just jerks. The one time we had sex before sunrise, our neighbours marched over and pounded on the door loudly for over 5 minutes. I felt really violated by that experience. We were naked and vulnerable, and it felt like someone was trying to break down the door. 

After that happened, I just did not want to have sex in that room at all. We turned the den into the new bedroom since it doesn’t share any walls with other units. The old master suite is now the office and reading room.

I think we are considerate neighbours. We don’t run the dishwasher after 9 pm or vaccum early on weekends. We don’t blare music loudly. Neither of us are shriekers, and our bed doesn’t squeak. We don’t have wall-pounding, screaming orgasm sex into the wee hours of the morning.

We used to have a cordial relationship with them but now if I see them I avoid eye contact.

I’m sorry your neighbours are being assholes!





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