Having sex with neighbors.

posted 2 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 46
447 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

The husband and I live in a rental with thin walls on one side, and a nice big window in our bedroom. We turn on some music while having sex, and it seems to work well. To me it’s weird to have sex without some background noise, but that’s just me. 


Post # 47
3737 posts
Sugar bee

anabolina :  lol nothing says wild sex room like acoustic tiles! i love it.

Post # 48
570 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

FH is worried that they will only want us to have sex during the day which is not always possible and would greatly diminish our sex life. 

You are both grown adults. No one can tell you when to have sex.

Fuck the neighbors opinion. And while you’re at it, fuck your husband too. Extra loud too.

Post # 49
1630 posts
Bumble bee

Not gonna lie, I thought this thread was going to be a lot more fun than it was. 

Post # 50
1251 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

I feel like they’re just shitty neighbors. That really sucks.

I had a furnished apartment once that was just shitty all around and every time you even sat on the bed it sounded like monkey sex. We tried to be as quiet as possible during sex but one time we found a note stuck to our front door saying something like “I know everyone has sex but it is 10 in the morning and I’m trying to sleep. Please try to keep it down.” And I was like 10 is too early???

Post # 51
6236 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

annabeth929 :  RAWR! – What she said, OP!

I think you should speak with your landlord about what is going on and then send your husband over there to speak with the neighbors- nonconfrontationally- “We’ve noticed you’ve been knocking on our walls a lot recently. Is there an issue?” I would also find a way to make it clear to them that between the hours of 7/8 am and 10/11pm, not to knock on my walls unless they’ve fallen and can’t get up.

Do NOT move your bed into your guest room or allow them to dictate when you and your husband get down. At the most, I would turn on some music during sex to muffle things a bit.

When my husband and I were earlier in our relationship, he used to stay over at my apartment quite a bit and we would have sex that could get pretty loud. One day we were at my favorite sushi restaurant in my neighborhood and I noticed three young women staring hard at us- to the point that it was noticeable and strange. I wondered what was up but they didn’t come speak to me so I didn’t think too much of it. About a week later, I saw a couple of them in my complex and realized that they were my downstairs neighbors and had heard my bed squeaking and walls knocking and so on and so forth. I got embarrassed for a moment and then I was like “Ah, well, maybe they’ll be inspired to fuck someone loudly, too.” 🙂

Post # 52
1606 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

We have a downstairs neighbour who brings different girls home every night and has LOUD sex at like 2am everyday. I’m talking her screaming at the top of her lungs, him groaning excessively ( especially when he finishes…ugh it’s the worst to listen to), stuff being slapped, dirty talk, the works! One time this girl was screaming so loud I was sure he was assaulting her and was ready to call the cops, but then she screamed “OH YES!” and I realized it wasn’t abuse lol.

That being said, my husband and I have never said anything or banged on the floors, even though it’s terrible. I think that’d be so awkward! So I can’t believe your neighbours are bothering you when you are being courteous! I say f**k them and keep having sex as you are. It’s their own problem.

Post # 53
555 posts
Busy bee

TwilightRarity :  A similar thing happened to us when husband and I were first dating. He lived in an apartment with great walls. We never heard a peep of anything anyone was doing  and if you closed the window to the street I had never heard such silence. We were disgusting during our honeymoon phase and I was young and enthusiastic, so I’d been known to rattle the glassware *ahem*

After one night out for my birthday, we celebrated… Hard. It was late ( it makes me cringe now!) and took a little while. But then we began to hear another noise over ours- the neighbours banging the wall in unison to us. It was about then we realised the walls weren’t great. They were paper thin, and the neighbours were just being quiet until then, because I could even hear their giggling while they thumped along with us.

The next morning we happened to bump into two sets of neighbours. The older couple wouldn’t look us in the eye and scurried off, while the younger couple (who were the one’s adding percussion) grinned at us so Darling Husband gave them a thumbs up and I curtsied. What else could we do? We kept it down from then on. 

OP, please don’t feel guilty for living your life! You’re doing nothing wrong and the neighbours seem overly invested in your love life. It’s a very strange response from them considering you’re considerate of the hours. Me personally, I’d probably give you guys a mental high-five and get on with my own life, it just seems like they don’t have one. 

Post # 54
191 posts
Blushing bee

mingogo4 :  have sex whenever you want to. Your neighbours can get over it. Your house, you do what you want. 

Post # 56
352 posts
Helper bee

Ugh I share your frustration. We own, but it is a townhouse style with someone next to our bedroom AND below us. I don’t worry about the bedroom issue thankfully but we have a downstairs neighbor who is v old and cranky about how loudy I walk. I am not a big lady, I wear socks and don’t run aroudn the house. She makes comments ALL THE TIME. I used to let it bother me, but now I think if you have the ability to own and choose to share walls, you are going to sometimes hear your neighbors! SO won’t get good speakers for our TV so as not to disturb our neighbors, which I think is nice but I think as long as you don’t have wild parties or scream, you are just fine! Keep doing you wink

Post # 57
657 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

I’d literally just knock back.

Our downstairs neighbor is a beezy. If we have a movie on too loud she will bang on the ceiling (at like 4 in the afternoon). Now I just stomp back at her. I know the laws (FI is an officer..we know the laws VERY well). 

She sent the cops to our condo during a dinner party around Christmas becasuye we were laughing too loud. It was epic. Everyone had left by the time they got their and two of my FIs buddies show up. We got a good ol laugh. When I saw her next I said “Oh hey, those cops you sent the other night are friends of ours! We invited them in for some food. Thanks for inviting them!!”

The women hates my guts lol 

I hope she hears us having sex. Now I just want to be louder so I bug her haha 

Post # 58
669 posts
Busy bee

Sounds like they purposely put the vibrator against the wall.

I have no advice. Maybe it doesn’t seem loud to you but is? I don’t get why people would scream anyways during the event… Also 10-11 in my book is late… 7am is not early because I am up before then so… maybe they think like I do?

Maybe try doing it in the floor? Lol. I have no idea. Or go to the middle of the townhouse? More walls between them. 

I know it happens but who REALLY wants to hear other people going at it… especially if its an awkward moaning and screaming type like you would normally only hear in a porno (which is fake).

Post # 59
888 posts
Busy bee

I can definitely be… um… expressive… during sex, but I never let that stop me during apartment living.  I listened to my neighbor have sex from time to time, she got to listen to me, as well.  

Turn on some music and ignore them.  If it’s not at a strange hour, there is no reason why normal sex noises should be a “disturbance”.  Just because they can tell it’s sex and not conversation doesn’t mean it’s an abnormal amount of noise. 

Post # 60
624 posts
Busy bee

Bang on the wall back! You’re an adult! Have sex whenever you want! I can’t believe they’d bang on the wall! I can see why you’re uncomfortable but it’s ridiculous that they’d be so invasive! You should absolutely not change or plan around your neighbors. I also have to wonder how thin those walls are?!

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