(Closed) Having some tough waiting days :-(

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee

hugs to you, I’m sorry you’re feeling like this and I totally feel your pain!!

I wish I had an answer for you, I like what one bee said on here and that is to just trust your partner, they will do it, just have faith in him and try to chill! A lot of other bees suggest focusing on yourself, nails, hair, skin, hobbies etc… anything to take your mind off it! A good vent on here works too!

Or you can compare yourself to me (lol) ….been together 9 years, timeline was supposed to be  ending next month but been told not to expect anything now….. See it could be worse!! I’m not bitter, I just find I have to be lighthearted about it or I might cry!!!

A year isn’t long, you’re gonna be ok, just hang in there it’s coming!! 

Post # 4
Member
492 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@EmilyJoy:  I totally understand where you are coming from. I am sorry you are having such a hard time, just remember we are here for you when you need to vent about how bad it sucks sometimes to have to wait. I am having a hard time keeping my mouth shut to my SO about getting engaged. I know he is sick of hearing about it but I can’t stop talking and thinking about it. Just stay encouraged!

Post # 5
Member
3324 posts
Sugar bee

Can you just think about the fact that you are with the person you love and want to spend the rest of your life with, and not focus on a wedding so much?

Post # 6
Member
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I totally understand your frustration. I felt exactly the same way in november and december, but i have felt better and better recently. I think it is because i know for certain that SO has started the process (HE HAS A FUND!!). Maybe you could talk to your SO and just ask him to tell you if he has stated working towards it. Know that he is has allowed me to be much more calm and WAAAYYY less sad.

 

Post # 7
Hostess
2999 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I’m totally with you – waiting is the worst and I have had some pretty down days myself. The best thing I have found is to try and stay busy and lean on us for support when you need it 🙂

Post # 8
Member
772 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I completely understand where you’re coming from. I’m having a funny couple of days with it myself, triggered in part by people asking recently how long we’ve been together (7 yr anniversary coming up in March) and family at Christmas saying how a good wedding is needed in the family soon (or in the case of my uncle, asking me if I’m bored of him/ waiting for him yet).

I just try and remember what an amazing man I have and there’s nobody else I would want to be with, but I still can’t help longing for that extra connection of being a wife rather than ‘just the girlfriend’. Maybe that’s just a self-esteem thing from me, but that’s how it crosses my mind now and then.

Hang in there, and yes stayed encouraged that you know it is coming at some point, and keep yourself occupied 🙂

Post # 10
Member
1980 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I’ve been there- and it is horrid.  I have had good waiting days the last couple but days but honestly, I feel like waiting is a cycle of good and bad waiting days- at least for me. I love the wonderful waiting bees on here for that reason- bc I can talk about how I feel and other people understand where I am coming from- it is therapeutic for me. 

The holidays are tough when you have family and friends constantly questioning you about when you two are getting engaged/ married. When all these people external to the relationship keep bringing it up, it’s a lot easier for you to think about it all the time. 

It drives me crazy that I am just a girlfriend! But I have been running so that 1) I am more healthy and 2) I will be ready for dress shopping! And I think about my SO- he is an incredible partner to me regardless of the fact we aren’t official. And last week when my married friend complained about her husband who just watches tV after work and don’t help with the house or cook dinner, I realized that my SO and I worked more as a team- he helps with my dishes and cooks a lot (he was a chef) and we don’t even live together yet! He is so supportive of my schooling and career, he challenges me religiously and intellectually, he is always concerned about my well being, and he makes me laugh! I know SO is trying to make this happen and make me happy- patience is a virtue and I’m working on it! And I can see all of this clearly today bc I’m having a good waiting day, but tomorrow I could feel hurt and upset and resentful about waiting- just the way it goes!

Post # 11
Member
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I went through an angry stage before Fiance proposed – I kept it all in (except on the boards) and thought I was going to EXPLODE. Then one day I decided to stop worrying about it. It wasn’t easy, but I FORCED myself to chill out – and he wound up proposing like a few days later.

I will tell you one thing though: You know how when you’re little all you want to do is grow up and people tell you that one day you’ll miss being little and you don’t believe them – but then you do grow up and being an adult and having responsibilities SUCKS and you realize they were right? Well its the same with the waiting game – once it is over, there is some relief – but honestly, I do miss that anticipation sometimes!!

Post # 12
Member
1059 posts
Bumble bee

Hiya

I just wanted to say I feel you! I know how you feel and think it can best be described as blargh but the only thing I can say is that the feeling goes away and that you need to remember there will be good waiting days too. Good luck!

 

 

Post # 13
Member
3324 posts
Sugar bee

I know it’s hard, and you’re so excited…I remember feeling anxious too, but I never brought it up with my SO, because I felt like it would take away from both the surprise and the feeling of “he’s asking me because HE wants to spend the rest of his life with ME”. Instead I feel like if someone gets nagged it takes away some of the magic. Just my two cents though!

Post # 15
Member
2 posts
Wannabee

Good luck!

Post # 16
Member
32 posts
Newbee

Hi 🙂

Just try and be safe in the knowledge it’s coming…some of us simply get an umcomfortable ‘I don’t know’ whenever marriage/engagement is mentioned!!

Breath, try and get some perspective….you know for sure it’s coming and keep your mind occupied!

 

Best of luck <3

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