Post # 16
ooh Honey i know exactly how you feel ,and i may not be the best person to give you an advice . i have been “engaged” for 4 years. and 8 years total together.
i know about “the talk” my boyfriend is just like yours, he dont like to talk about marriage,but he does like to talk about kids (!?) all the times i asked him about our wedding or he wont say nothing, or we were broke,or i want the big wedding and he dont, now when we both want to get married we cant we been having a very bad time ($$$$) the true is i cant wait to marry him!!!
im 27 he’s 32 i feel like we are getting old! i want to be the wife! taking care of a house! go out with him as a wife! anyways…
i would say to talk to him, but dont push him someguys like mine dont like if i keep telling him when? do we have money to do something special? can we invite some friends? date? noo! step by step first talk to him ,see he reaction, listen what he have to say and then you can make plans.
Post # 17
Alright, I have an update for you ladies.
So, we talked. It wasn’t long or drawn out; ironically, it got brought up via text message, but we spoke later about it in-person to confirm that yes, we said what we meant, etc. etc.
He’s been thinking about doing some ring shopping between now and my birthday (July 1st.) That being said, we’re super broke. Rent takes an entire paycheck from him, and my income is so meager that it barely makes a dent in the bills. We’re pretty much breaking even. Debt-free, but little to no carryover. He’s on the short list for a promotion (5 positions open, 24 candidates but we don’t know how many got through to interviews; he did.) We were supposed to know a couple weeks ago, but corporate delayed it until “sometime this month” with no explanation. He was hoping to know by now so that he could make wiggle room in the budget to save up for a ring. This explains why he’s been trying to save money lately (telling me to be frugal when I go shopping, turning off lights left and right, etc.)
He knows it’s time and wanted to have a ring by my birthday. It doesn’t look like that’s going to happen because we’re effectively broke. I’ve told him that I don’t want him going into debt or spending an outrageous sum — I’m fine with using a placeholder and “upgrading” once we’re more financially able — and he knows that but doesn’t want it to look cheap. I’ve offered him snooping priviliges on my Pinterest. But we’ve agreed to both try to start cutting corners in the budget. He just got into a certification program our employer sponsors, and he’s offered to make extra copies of his homework and packets and let me study with him. Our employer won’t pay for my testing fees and all that jazz, but I can borrow his books and pamphlets and cover the test fee out of pocket. If we both get this certification, he’d get a marginal (but noticable) wage boost and I could find a much better job.
Either way, we both feel better having discussed it and gotten on the same page. The current plan is to try and save up for now and see where we’re at in July.
TL;DR: He was planning on doing ring shopping before my birthday, but our current budget has next to no wiggle room so he hasn’t been able to save up anything. We’re waiting on (overdue/delayed) news of a potential promotion, and we’ve agreed to pinch pennies for now. If he had the money, he would have already bought one.
Post # 18
Veleyna: look into alternatives to diamonds like moissanite! you can get a moissy engagement ring for under 1k (still a lot, but attainable) some are even $500 on moissaniteco.com. I’m glad he is on the same page! Good luck saving
Post # 19
Veleyna: That’s fantastic news! Good luck with his promotion, the certification (for you both) and finding so ways to cut corners. It sounds like all of this is just going to bring you closer together and help your relationship to grow even stronger. I’m so glad that it worked out so well.